There is an old John Wayne movie I enjoy watching, ‘Angel and the Badman’. John Wayne plays a gun slinger, who was shot and is taken in by a Quaker family who nurse him back to health. John Wayne, and the Quaker family collide on almost every facet of their lives and neither seems to understand the other, yet both are obligated to the other for different reasons. As the movie goes on, both John Wayne and the family start understanding each others views of how problems should be dealt with. To know the rest, you will have to watch it yourself, but it is a very good movie!
Friends are like this movie, you meet, and find you usually do not share the same opinion on life, yet there is a spark there that makes you want to know about this person you have met, or work with. Eventually you are friends, and you wonder why you did not know this person before, because you get along so well together.
I am grateful for all my friends, both my social friends and my work group friends. Family more or less is forced to put up with me. They do not really have to like me, even a little, but they are forced by family bonds to at least be polite and pretend they may have an interest in what I say or think.
Friends on the other hand, are there because they want to be and that makes them very special - in a class all by themselves! Friends listen, they care what I have to say, and what I think. They may not always agree with me, but they know me well, and understand that when we disagree, it is not the end of a friendship, just we see something in two different ways.
My friends also provide me a safe place to discuss my thinking with. My friends will not just agree with me to be polite, but they will disagree at times with something I think or feel, and give me reasons why they think I am wrong. Try getting that out of your family in a manner you can accept. Sometimes it is very hard quietly discuss ideas and thoughts with family members because they are family.
One aspect of relationships my friends share with my family, is being there. If I need something, I know my friends will likely drop their plans if they feel it is serious enough and help me out. They may tell me they are not happy about it, but they would be there all the same. My family will help me out too, but they are already committed by default.
My friends are a great place to privately discuss something that is a problem in my life, that I do not feel comfortable bringing up anywhere else. Usually these conversations are just venting, but that is what friendship is for. A place for each of us to vent without being judged about our frustration.
I find for myself, I do not need a large number of friends. I would rather have a handful of very good friends, than twenty or more semi-close friends. If you belong or have ever been on a social site, you know what I mean. Some people claim friends into the hundreds. I have hundreds of people I am friendly with, but I can not say I have hundreds of very close friends.
Respect is another fine quality of friendship. My friends always treat me with the same amount respect, I am sure they enjoy themselves. Even in joking around, there are lines that friends do not cross that others will. I hope I show my friends the same respect and boundaries as they give to me.
When you see your friends, take a minute and let them know they are important to you. I think women are better at this than us men, but it does not hurt us men to tell our friends they are important to us in our lives. It only feels awkward the first few times. Thank yourself too, because you are a friend too and very important to someone!
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