Welcome, Ven a gozar!

Ziggy and I worked together in a large hotel restaurant. He was a few years older than I was, but he was much younger than the other two people we worked with, so that made us friends by default. Ziggy was a newlywed being married less than two years. I was a newlywed also, so that gave us something in common. We also had baby girls, although his baby was a few months younger than mine. Ziggy lived for his little girl, and she was his world, even his wife took second seat to his daughter.

We worked and laughed and got the job done the best we could each day. Some days were fun and some days were work, but between all of us we did our best, and our customers were happy. One of the best parts of the job for me was the lunch time menu. There was always a lunch special. When I was not the grill cook for the day, I could decide and make whatever the special was for that day. We would try to be be creative, and make enough to feed between thirty and forty people which seemed to be the most lunch specials we would sell in a day.

Ziggy started having headaches that would not go away. Then he started losing his balance at times. It became serious, so he went to the doctor to see what was wrong, and how it could be made better. A week went by while Ziggy waited for his tests to come back. I was starting to notice that he was not doing so well. He would forget what he was doing or have to sit down because he was too dizzy to stand.

The doctors said Ziggy had a brain tumor. It was deep inside his brain and it was growing fast. The doctors said if they operated, Ziggy had less than a five percent chance of waking up. There was radiation, although it would not cure Ziggy. At best it would slow down the growth of the tumor and hopefully extend his life a few more months.

To Ziggy, extending his life a few months meant a few more months with his new wife and daughter. He never gave it a second thought, but started the treatment as soon as he could. The first week or so Ziggy was sick, but he managed to come to work. He was not as fast on his feet as he had been. We all helped by working harder, and we finished the work as a group. By the third week Ziggy was not able to work at all.

Ziggy made it about seven months before the cancer took him. In his last lucid days, he said that if he could do it over, he [Ziggy] would have skipped the radiation, and settled for a few good months with his wife and daughter, instead of several months of being too ill to enjoy his wife and baby girl. I thought it was very sad as they lay Ziggy to rest, his last thoughts were he was cheated out of some quality time with his family.

As time marched on, other family members, and friends died of this or that. It is always a sad state watching someone die slowly of something terminal. The only advantage of a slow death, is there is plenty of time to speak with everyone you wish to speak with. You have the privilege of letting them know whatever you may wish to tell them. There is also time to get yourself in order. Taking care of your affairs as much as you can and giving those things you can to friends and family. I learned a lot from Ziggy’s illness and death, as Ziggy died well, if someone’s death is thought to be possibly called dying well.

I do not really know how Ziggy lived his life before his cancer, but I know how he did afterwards. He took every word, gesture, and thought seriously, because the time he spent with someone may have been his last. He became someone who did not play relationship games with others. He had many paths to follow, but he took the high road in his final days. I realized just a few years ago that Ziggy taught me that there are better ways to live than most of us choose to follow. It is just to bad Ziggy had to leave this world to teach me this.

Comments (0) Nov 26 2007