I listen to, and read of people who say they wish they had better control over their emotions. There is not any particular identifiable group who feel they can not control their emotions. Lack of emotional control seems to be everywhere from young children, to old men and women too.
Pretend for a minute that you are suddenly transported to another country. In this country they speak a language you may have heard, but you certainly do not understand. It can be any language you can imagine as long as you do not understand the words being said.
Someone you know in this country comes up to you and says something to you, and laughs, but you can not understand what they are saying, so to be polite you smile too. A second, and third person come up to you smiling and one of them says something to you, and they both chuckle. Just to be polite, you chuckle too. They laugh again and walk off with smiles on their faces.
A fourth person comes up to you and says something you do not understand. This time they are not smiling. You do not know what to do, so you shake your head, and try to convey that you do not understand. They say something else to you, that you do not understand and then they walk off.
If you put these four conversations in a spot where we have lost our patience each time, there is a difference. In each of these conversations we had to run what was being said through our ego, to see what our ego self thinks, and how ego responds.
Of those people who feel they have poor emotional control, ego is usually the offender. Of course our ego responses are tempered depending on who is on the other side of the conversation with us. If our ego likes to bully for example, we will bully only if we think we can get away with it. If the other person involved in the conversation is bigger, or meaner than us, we temper our response to that person, because we are scared of the consequences if we make them angry at bus.
However if the other person is someone who we see as below us, or not as important as us, the bully ego comes out in full force. Why we just let the other person know where the crow flies, and what the bear does, and we don’t care what they think or say.
So it is not really emotional control most of us suffer from, but rather it is being too generous in giving ourself permission to act in a way we know is not appropriate. We let our ego run our conversation, then we justify our actions by blaming the other person for some imagined inadequacy.
The other person who we just bullied is at fault, because of the way they spoke to us. Perhaps the choice of words they used, or the look on their face. We find it easy to find fault with the other person while ignoring our reaction when we know their is no negative consequences involved.
If you are someone who has trouble controlling their emotions, I suggest you look inwards to you. Check out your ego, which is really running you, and your emotions. Watch yourself and notice how you do not react the same way with all people, but you only act when it is safe to do so. Watch and notice how no matter what you seemingly do, someone is right there setting you off when you are trying so hard to maintain?
If you find these things are true, it is not controlling your emotions that is at fault, it is letting your ego have to much control in your life. You control your emotions any time you need to, but normally you do not, because your ego is in charge and it is telling you how to act and react.
No comments yet.