Welcome, Ven a gozar!

There was a time when the people I surrounded myself with were a very mixed bunch. On one hand I enjoyed hanging around with smart people who had vision for their lives. On the other side I hung around with people who apparently were going nowhere and were happy that way. This was before I was out of high school and starting life in the real world.

Once out of school not much changed except my friends who had vision for thier lives moved on to accomplish whatever goals they had set for themselves. For my own part, my friends were changing as the more focused people were leaving, and more unfocused people took their place.

It was a hard balancing act for me, I had ambition and drive, but the people I hung around with most of the time did not. I would spend my work time trying to do a good job, but in my personal life nothing was changing. It was the same old grind every week. Looking back I can see I was sliding backwards in my life by the people I chose to have around me. They had no real goals for their life, and I was keeping myself from mine by being with them.

I slowly changed my friends, and made a more serious attempt to change my life. It was not an easy task though, as I was acclimated to a certain group of people and a certain life style that goes with it. The groups I wished to be a part of saw me as someone who did not belong in their circles. It took a lot lot of time and frustration to change. Change is never and easy thing to do, and it is much harder when you are changing your whole life in the process.
 
I feel that at some point along the way I completed the change. I look back at the young me and I think I would not recognize him if I could somehow go back in time and meet myself. That is not to say my personality has changed, but the way I envision life these days definitely has changed dramatically.

The point of all this is who you are, what you want, and who you choose to have around you determine you, like it or not. If you have goals and ambitions you have not yet realized, you may want to take a close look at those people you choose to be with. On a day to day basis, do they help you, hinder you, or neither? Many of my friends were in a neither category, which was a hidden hindrance. It is hard to have friends who are leading a life style you are not a part of directly, but you are involved in by default, and not become like them.

If you find yourself in a position like I was, it is time to start evaluating what your friends are doing for your life. If your friends are not a positive influence in your life, and you want to change and grow, plan to see less of your current friends, and start making new friends. While this idea may sound selfish and self centered, and it is, at some point and time if you do not change yourself, you become who your friends are.

It is important to remember you are not leaving your friends behind, rather you are choosing to grow away from them for a chance to improve your life. Most of them will see you as moving on, although a few may not and there is little you can do about how they feel. You will notice they will find a replacement friend to fill the spot you left faster than you will find new friends to spend time with. Do not expect new friendships to replace old friends. Be patient, as there is little you can do to speed up the process. The best you can do is remember you are trying to improve yourself. If your friends are paying attention they may even want to follow you and improve their life too.

Comments (0) May 11 2008