Welcome, Ven a gozar!

There was a time when the people I surrounded myself with were a very mixed bunch. On one hand I enjoyed hanging around with smart people who had a vision for their lives. On the other side I hung around with people who were going nowhere and happy about it. This was before I was even out of high school.

Once out of school not much changed except my friends who had vision for their lives moved on in their lives to accomplish whatever goals they had set for themselves. For my part, my friends group were changing as the more focused people were leaving and more complacent people took their place.

It was a hard balancing act for me, I had ambition and drive, but the people I hung around with did not. I would spend my work time trying to do a good job, but in my personal life nothing was changing, or so it seemed. Looking back I can see I was sliding backwards in my life, helped by the people I chose to have around me. They had no real goals for their life, and like it or not, we become and are judged in part by our friends.

I slowly changed my friends and made a serious attempt to change my life around. It was not an easy task though. What made it hard was I was acclimated to a certain group of people and a certain life style. The groups I wished to be a part of saw me as course and perhaps a little shady. It took a lot lot of time and work to change. Change is never and easy thing to do, and it is made harder when you are changing your whole life in the process.

I feel that at some point along the way I completed the change. I look back on the young me and I think I would not recognize him if I could somehow go back in time and watch myself. That is not to say my personality has changed, but the way I envision life these days definitely has.

The point of all this post is: who you are, what you want, and who you choose to have around you. If you have goals and ambition that you have not yet realized, you may want to take a close look at those people you choose to be with. On a day to day basis, do they help you, hinder you, or neither? Many of my early friends were in a neither category, which was a hindrance in itself. It is hard to have friends who are leading a life style you are not a part of directly, because you are involved in their life by default.

If you find yourself in a position like I was, it is time to start evaluating what your friends are doing for your life. If your friends are not a positive influence in your life, and you want to change and grow, there is no alternative other than to see less of your current friends, and start making new friends. While this idea may sound selfish and self centered, and it is, at some point and time if you do not change yourself, you become who your friends are.

It is important to remember you are not leaving your friends behind, rather you are choosing to grow away from them to improve your life. Most of them will see you as moving on, although a few may not and there is little you can do about how they feel.

You will notice they will find a replacement to fill the spot you left, and you will find new friends too. Do not expect new friendships to fill the holes you have created overnight. There is little you can do to speed up the process, it will happen on its own time. The best you can do is remember you are trying to improve yourself. If your friends are paying attention they may even want to follow you and improve their life too.

Comments (0) May 12 2008