I remember as a teenager wanting an identity of my own, rather than being my parents child. I used to set out on long weekends away from home looking for me and who I was. I would camp out at the lake, or by streams and rivers fishing and looking for me.

I never did find myself which at the time was frustrating for me. I thought once I was physically away from home finding out who I was would be an easy matter. After all anyone I was likely to meet or talk to would have no idea who my parents were, and should have a clear idea of who I was.

All these years later, I know now, that what I was doing was writing the story of my life. It was not out there for me to find, but rather there was a large empty blackboard waiting for me to fill. Who I ‘was’ is a lifetime of living and discovery.

Of all things that appeal to us, the first sought after are usually not the best for us. The best we can become take some searching and planning. I discovered a few things that may be of interest to you in the process of finding me.

Of the many things I have become, a few of them should not happen until their time. Getting married and having children are two that come to mind rather quickly. Many of us want to get married and we want to have children. That is the way we are, at least we want the try to have children part.

Getting married and having children though should be a farther along the road of becoming who we are rather than an early life goal. It is pretty difficult to become a parent and raise a family when we have not given ourselves a chance to discover who we are.

Other things should be done as soon as possible. For example, going to college or traveling across the country should be early life goals. College has obvious benefits and should be completed before life gets complicated. The same goes for wanting to strike out on our own or do some traveling. Traveling is much easier when there are no other responsibilities in our life.

Some things should be avoided all together. There are some roads where one should not venture when creating our future us. These are determined by what we think and feel, and vary from person to person. What is okay for one, is not okay for a second person.

Don’t be afraid to take reasonable risks. Because our life is basically empty until we start living it, taking risk is part of the process of defining who we are. Doing something you have never done before can lead to new friendships and interests. Be careful and make sure that what you are about to do is something you can tell your parents you are doing. It is a long lifetime, and it is easy to do something starting out in life that is regretted forever. The old saying, ‘look before you leap’, applies. Some new adventures can put you in a wheelchair or prison, or worse for life. Think long and hard before you act.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes when you are finding you. If you are not making mistakes, you may not be reaching far enough. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, just make sure the mistakes you could make, do not harm yourself or others.

As I was out there making my own mistakes, and trying out new things, and discarding things that no longer worked for me, somewhere along the line I found myself. I found out who I am, and clarified my likes and dislikes. I learned what I wanted from my life.

Who you become is who you become. It takes time to create your life, and if you find it is not working for you, it will take time to change your life again. It is not possible to change who you are overnight. It is not possible to write the complete book of your life and who you are until the final page is written. Until then we are on a sometimes rambling journey down the path of life.

Enjoy where you are at in your journey and make the most of it, the next chapter will start in it own time and rushing it does not speed the process up but only adds frustration. Enjoy today and tomorrow will take care of itself is a good though to end on.

Happy New Year, happy new life!