Monthly Archives: January 2009

Rejecting happiness by unfocused wanting

Posted on by
1

I used to be surprised at how many people really are not happy. Some people generally want more money, more fame, more love, more toys. They find it difficult to be satisfied with their life. Being happy happens between our ears, it is not something external to us.

I had a few hundred words written here about how and why we are not happy, but after I thought what I wrote for a few hours, I erased what I had written. What I had written was deceitful in some ways. Instead know that happiness is a choice almost without exception. We all want to be happy but we do not know what we really want to be happy. I believe what I have rewritten below will help most people find real happiness in their life.

If you want to be happy you have to work for it. Happiness is free, and easy to acquire, but you have to want happiness and want to pursue it. If you want to be happy, and you are not willing to work on being happy, nothing will change for you.

If you ever listened to, or remember a child’s on the spot bedtime prayer, you know how most of us pursue happiness. A child’s impromptu prayer goes something along the lines of, ‘….Mommy and Daddy, Sister Jean, Cousin Timmy, and our dog Spot. Oh, don’t forget my teacher, Aunt Erma, the ice cream man, and my best friend Pete. While you are listening, I need help with my school work tomorrow, and I do not know why I have to learn math….’

What can be expected from a mishmash of unfocused wants is about what arrives. The universe conspires to fulfill each of those requests to the best of its ability. The child’s prayer is a good example. What the child is saying is: “Take care of everyone important to me, I don’t want to learn math, and I did not do my homework.” The next day, the child does not learn anything about math, and the homework was never finished.

It is the same thing with wants in our life. We want an interesting job, we want to be able to make more money, we want to travel across the country. What we have is not enough, yet we are not sure what it is we do want. Many of us spend our life in this want, don’t want state.

And we wonder why we can not find happiness in our lives. What we really want in our lives are simple things. When those simple things show up, they are not good enough for us, and we reject them. Though if we slowed down and appreciated what the universe has done for us, we would find we have all we could ever want and need.

What you want in your life should be focused, if not, be open to many possibilities. If you want to have a lot of money, think about it where it is going to come from. Wanting a lot of money and finding yourself selling off your things for cash fills your want, but not in the way you expect.

Make sure what you want in your life is what you really want, not what someone else has. For example a person may think they want more people in their life, but what they really want are better relationships with the people already in their life.

If you are vague about what you want, be accepting of what shows up to fill your want. Some things you do not expect happen if rejected may reduce your opportunity to be happy. Happiness is not difficult, it is available for all of us. Having a new want list by the end of each and every day, makes it difficult for what you really want to enter into your life.

Share

Celebrate the hero you are

Posted on by
2

Everyone knows stories of epic struggles. Whether the story of Jason and the Argonauts, Giglamesh, the recently revived 300, stories from your own childhood. For some it may be from video game heroe’s, perhaps Doom or Quake, EverQuest, or WOW. Everyone knows at least one story of an epic struggle. For some it may be a family member who served in the military, and has shared something either they participated in, or an epic story from the branch of service they belonged to.

These are great stories and role models for us to use in our own life. It is always a good choice when life gets hard to think of an epic tale and apply it to our own life. At times though it is hard to make the connection between a mythic hero and ourselves. The jump is pretty great.

A mythic hero struggles against monsters, adversity presented by oceans, mountains, deserts, and dungeons. We on the other hand struggle against the more mundane and boring side of life, broken cars, sudden expenses, family emergencies, or lost jobs.

It is hard to bridge the gap between doing battle with a cyclops and wondering where the money is going to some from to by diapers for our baby. How can we compare an act of heroism against our own life when we have just lost our job? I have never read of a hero that was just told they no longer have a job.

I believe they are out there though. I know they exist. I will even go so far to mention that you know at least one hero who has overcome adversity, loss of a job, family emergencies, or other struggle. On who overcame and conquered whatever lay in their path.

Maybe you are the person I am thinking about? Have you ever considered yourself in a struggle of epic proportions? Maybe you are a student struggling for grades, a homemaker trying to make ends meet with very little, a parent struggling to connect with a teenager. Possibly you are suddenly single, prospects for the near future are bleak, and you wonder how you are going to survive.

While tales of epic struggles rise on mist from the past, or live in the imagination of a game developer, or take place on a battlefield far away and out of sight, there are huge struggles going on all around us that we do not even realize. Everyone knows someone who went through a tremendous struggle of some type and came out victorious. Yet when asked how things were in the midst of the battle of their life, more often than not the person involved in the struggle answers, ‘everything is fine, and you?’

There are the every day struggles that do not garner the spotlight that the rest of us go through as we go through the journey of our lives. We all struggle at some point in our lives against something we feel we are unlikely to defeat, yet somehow we do. We get through college, we find ways to provide for our families, we manage to overcome various afflictions that befall us in our lifetime.

Take a moment or two and reflect on you life and the silent struggles of epic proportions that you survived. Celebrate those victories because they are every bit as grand as any story ever told. Steel yourself in your stories of victory, knowing that you overcame a situation as bad or worse than anything you are now facing or may face in the future.

Reflect on the magic that is in you, the strength you found to not only survive your past or present struggles, learning to thrive because of them. When you have celebrated the hero in you, look at those around you, and know that they too fought their own struggles, scared and silent at the thought they may lose. Know they too fought on and they found victory, and it made them better and stronger. Celebrate the hero in each of us!

Share

Soul question, lengthy out loud thinking

Posted on by
Reply

Crisalonso asks interesting questions in his post “Can you see the future?” I was perusing blogs when I came across his post which I find very thought provoking. What is most interesting in his post is I too have pondered his questions throughout my lifetime. What I find surprising is my answers changed over time, and now have settled on a final answer.

Crisalonso muses, then states:

There has to be a soul, a coded form of energy which preserves identity during and after this life.

Wow, what a position! It is one of those ideas that mankind has struggled with for centuries and I have no doubt better minds than mine have attacked this statement with more determination and a better plan than mine. A few minutes of searching on the internet, for thoughts of the greatest thinkers of our time answers would be laid bare, or not depending on one’s interest in understanding what is really being said.

I find the best explanation is the proverb aphorism from the Gnostic gospels about it being harder for a rich man to get into heaven than a camel to pass through the eye of a needle fitting. How I think this applies to Crisalonso’s thought provoking statement is probably a little different than standard answers we would find.

As children growing into young adults we spend a lot of our time trying to find out who we are, and what we are about. We go through life trying to separate ourselves from everyone else, we want to be unique. I think this is where the eye of the needle comes into play.

If we truly believe we are separate from everyone, and everything else in the universe, then we are. We will never have moments of feeling we are one with the universe. If we happen to feel we are one with the universe, then we have never really been separate from everything, we only pretend we are separate.

If there is a universal something that keeps the universe as we know it, we are a part of it whether we like it or not. As we are a part of it, when we are done with our bodies, our souls must travel back to this all that is. I think the idea of standing in the middle of all that is, trumpet in my hand, proclaiming the glory of all that is while I am not a part of it, a flawed thought. Who would not wish to reclaim their part of all that is, was, and ever will be?

If we visualize a body of water large enough to jump in and imagine that body of water is all that is, what will we do standing next to it? Will we stand next to it, knowing that one step away we are a part of everything, and everything is a part of us, or would we walk away telling ourselves that we have no interest going back to being a part of all that is.

While a very few may decide, ‘I have no interest in rejoining all that is because I will lose myself as the water mixes in me and through me’, most people will be in the water as soon as they understand they can.

They will mix in with all the souls that are a part of all that is, sharing their lifetime experience, celebrating the feeling of completeness, mingling and rejoining all that is. All will truly be one with the universe as we know it, and we will know we have returned from our journey and experienced what we set out to experience in the manner we chose as we lived this lifetime.

As for Crisalonso’s question further into his post:

The question is, can we alter our past, present and future or is it all written beforehand?

I am of the belief we arrive with a specific plan, but we have the choice to follow it each step of the way, or not, as we decide. If this were not so, it would be a matter of randomness whether one turns into a saint or sinner to use common words for ideas.

Time has to be a human concept, there is no reason why we can not be born again in the same month of the same year in the same or different place holding the script we want to follow this time. To do any less would be a waste of our concept of time. Why would we want to wait who know how long for an exact set of circumstances to repeat themselves for something we want to experience when it occurred already exactly the way we wish it to?

Share

A few good movies

Posted on by
Reply

I watched some very good movies in the last days. I am not a movie type person per se, nor a television person for that matter. I would be hard pressed to name twenty actors and actresses that are popular these days. I do enjoy a good movie though, and appreciate quality acting where I forget I am watching a movie and become involved with what is playing out in front of my eyes.

Some time ago, a number of us were sitting around and talking about what would happen if the neighborhood we lived in became a drug ridden, or gang infested neighborhood. Most of the people present said they would either move out, or if they could not move out, they would keep a low profile.

Myself on the other hand, said I would do whatever I could do to rid my neighborhood of such a problem if it was at all possible. Of course the first objection was that I could or likely would be hurt, or maybe even killed. For myself, I always thought it is only right to do what has to be done for the better of everyone. I was a single opinion on that thought. Gran Tourino, which is now only in the theaters brings that message home. I might add it is one of many good messages that the movie delivers.

On the surface Gran Tourino has a lot going against it, it is racist, very male, attacks non white culture, and breaks various other present social mores. But it does deliver one very strong message, and that is some behavior can not be allowed no matter the consequence to an individual. While this really simplifies the main thrust of the movie, this message really appealed to me on a personal level.

I am sure everyone who has raised children has experienced times during and afterward when regret creeps in. A little sliver of I wish I could go back and do that part over. I know I have those moments at least. On one of the movie channels was an older movie, A Soldiers Daughter Never Cries.

This movie reminded me that there are people in the world who are better at raising children than I am or was. Of course it is just a movie and someone wrote the script, but I am sure there are people like those portrayed who do a very good job in some very tough areas; when asking the right questions and saying the right things makes everything okay.

A third movie I watched and enjoyed very much, Namesake, was also movie about family. In this case the movie followed the life of a man in New York who was from India who went back to India to find a wife to take back to new York. This movie approached family life with some awkwardness as the parents were not sure what to make of their children and the culture conflict. Of course it too works out in the end, and is a feel good movie.

When it comes to right and wrong, and parenting in general, everyone who has raised children has some regrets tucked away somewhere. I always found it interesting that we needed to go to driving school and pass an exam to get a license, but making and raising children needed noting more than a few moments of planned or unplanned parenthood.

I have noticed something over time though that seems to apply universally to all children. No matter how they are raised, if they are raised by someone with good intentions they usually turn out okay no matter how they were raised.

Good, bad, or indifferent, we were all raised in the best manner that those who took on the task of raising us could do. What we can do now is take the tools they gave us and build on them. Some ideas we hold are our very own and they are perfect for us. Other ideas we have are not ours, and may have been passed down to us through the generations. These are a few ideas from the movies at any rate.

Share

What programs do you watch?

Posted on by
Reply

…the only cereal that is shot from guns… is the only cereal that comes in the shape of animals…Live from New York…. If you live outside the United States it probably does not mean much to you that television signals are changing from analog to digital. If you live or watch television in the United States, you probably read of the change streaming across the bottom of your screen, and hear of it every news cast.

There are converter boxes available, and the Government is issuing coupons to save you some of the cost of buying a converter box, so you can go on watching television on the television set you now have. There is a slight hitch though.

The government it seems has ran out of allocated funds to issue coupons to those who are asking for them. Not much of a surprise with all we have going on in our country these days.

A famous economist by the name of Milton Friedman wrote a small book about economics some time ago. It is an easy read, so I read it a few years ago in an effort to understand a little more about economics. One of the ideas Friedman wrote is government exists partially to do the will of business.

Some CEO’s, including the creator of AIG must have read the same book as he spent a large portion of his time as CEO speaking with and otherwise trying to influence members of the House and Senate.

Apparently it worked; his company became the largest of its kind in the world before he was dethroned in the early 2000’s. He was not shy about letting others know how he spent his working time; he felt it was a CEO’s obligation to garner the favor of government.

In case you are curious about my very first few sentences, they are jingles from cereals that may no longer exist. I do not remember the names of the cereals, but the jingles remain. Such is the power of advertising and its effect on us.

Television is really one big advertisement glued together by programming of dubious value. Television networks exist for advertising dollars and would prefer the programming be as brain dead as possible. Television Network Executives prefer their audience to be both brain dead and receptive. The happier, and more thought free you are the more receptive you are to advertising. Sitcoms exist for this reason.

What possible reason could the Government have in subsidizing the cost of digital to analog converter boxes? A rather interesting reason I think. The answer is twofold. One reason is – as Friedman pointed out – Government is to do the will of business offset by the will of the people.

Big Business such as television networks and big companies need their message piped uninterrupted into as many homes as possible without any kind of break in the schedule. Television Networks and Big Business depend on having Joe public sitting in front of his television being saturated with as many commercials per hour as he will sit still for.

Unfortunately since the early 1920’s when the government of the United States (at least) spent untold amounts of money converting citizens from a save and reuse culture into a spend and replace culture.

Now Government needs uninterrupted advertising too. What would happen if Joe public went even a day without hearing that whatever he has or owns is perfectly useable does not need replacing with a newer version of the same thing?

The economy would go from its current sad state to a complete stoppage if Joe Public realized his six month old cell phone and four year old car did the same things his one year old cell phone and ancient eight year old car did. Joe Public would then reason a phone is a phone and a car is a car.

Cereal is made of a types few grains with appropriate sugar and texturing added. Cereal today is the same as it always was, just new names, packaging, and jingles. Most everything we use day to day we sell or give away for a new version of the same thing.

Imagine for a minute television without advertising. Would we actually pay money to watch Saturday Night Live? How would we know which cereals, or cell phones were the best? We would be lost, or would we?

Share

Easy side of life

Posted on by
Reply

When I became old enough to legally drive I bought a motorcycle. Life was pretty good. When weekends rolled around, and I was not working, it was a simple thing to grab my sleeping bag and fishing rod and head out to the lake for the weekend.

Weather was my biggest concern I did not have a tent so any rain meant I had to find a dry spot to sleep, or as dry as one could find at the lake. If I caught fish I had something to eat. If I did not catch any fish, a day or two without food was sufferable.

After I was asked not to return for another year of college, I went out and found a job and new friends because college was in another town in another state. Some of my friends were just like me. We had little to nothing except a job and a vehicle that would get us from one place to another – most of the time. Life was still pretty simple, pay the rent, have fun.

Of course about his time we start to get swept up in what every one around us is doing. It became important to find a better job, drive a better car, be a little more responsible. Before I knew it, all my single friends were getting married and settling down. I followed suit.

Suddenly life starts becoming more complicated; the easy days of only having to worry about myself were sliding into the past, as were casual days of camping by the lake, and generally lazing around having fun. I had to expand my focus from myself to my family. Taking a weekend off to go fishing became a luxury, not just another weekend. Fixing the car, buying furniture, clothes, baby food, and diapers became more important than me.

Nothing stays the same of course, but it did not seem like it at the time. The future looked like an unending need for diapers, baby food and kids clothes. Occasionally I would eke out a few hours for me, but those times were rare.

Of course those times went away, and slowly but surely I was not needed so much. In fact the biggest thing that was needed from me was an income. I started feeling like an ATM. I would look into the future and see years of working for a paycheck to have it disappear moments after it was cashed, only to start the process all over again.

This too went away, and my life became mostly mine again. Of course by this time, much of what I used to do was now something that young people do. Hanging out at the local bar did not have the same appeal it did years ago. Other hobbies were also left by the wayside for the same reasons. Other things like going to the lake for the weekend are now more involved because of all the things we need for going to the lake. What was once a two minute stuff a sleeping bag and one change of underwear into a rucksack is now a load the truck with everything process.

I wonder if this planning and packing is a form of ritual such as Thanksgiving or Easter, or is it something else. I find myself trying to simplify everything, but for some reason it is not an easy task to simplify. The line between what I need in my life and everything in my life is grey and convoluted. What once was clear and simple, now takes a little planning.

I was reading a few web sites about being homeless a few weeks ago, and it almost sounded pleasant to me. Not many cares with all the programs out there that would take care of me. All I would need is a safe place to sleep each night – and most of everything I have in my life at present.

Maybe being homeless is not as simple I perceive it to be. I imagine for now, I will be happy I can go to the lake, and not care about the three hours it takes to get ready to go. Being grateful enters my thoughts at moments like this.

Share