Blaming the world for my poor decision

When I was in college I used to hitchhike home some weekends. It was seventy miles one way, and split between two states. I did not mind hitchhiking so much as I was going home which beat the heck out of staying in the dorm for another weekend.

Some of the trips were okay, and some were good. The best rides I had usually came from Marine Corp recruiters. I knew when they picked me up, I would be a captive audience for a recruitment spiel that lasted as long as the Marine recruiter was heading in the direction I was going. Usually the talk ended with something along the line of, “How about you come down to the office and take our test?” Of course I respectfully declined.

Even though it was one main highway from college to the city where I lived, it was rare to catch one ride straight though. Most people would pick me up in one little town and tell me they were only going to the next little town. That was okay with me, the variety of people who where willing to pick up a teenage hitch hiker was always interesting. They were mostly working people, and I imagine, knew what life was like without a car.

I had hitched rides since I was a kid. Living in the country, it made for more play time if I could catch a ride to my friends homes who lived a mile or two away. Some drivers were a little strange, and maybe had strange ideas, but I never had any problems even as a kid. I always thought hitching rides was fun, and a cheap easy way to get around. That was a long time ago…

One night hitching home from college stands out in my mind. I could not leave as early as I wanted to. I left around dinner time which is a bad time to catch a ride in rural areas as most people were eating dinner. I walked about two miles before I caught my first ride.

My first ride was a good one, they took me about twenty five miles before they arrived where they were going. I thought it would be a quick trip. Catch another ride, and most of the trip would be over. I did not plan on the weather though.

As I walked along putting my thumb out when cars were heading in my direction, it became cloudy and dark. The sun had gone down. That was not a problem normally, but this night the clouds blocked out any light from the moon and stars. The lack of starlight at least made it very dark.

A mile later and three cars later, I was still walking, and it started to rain. Of course being a footloose college kid, I had no rain jacket. Because it was early fall, the rain was not warm. I walked nine more miles being passed by a number of cars which either did not see me, or did not want to pick up a soggy rider, and get their car all wet.

By this time I was getting tired and the rain was really coming down. A car came up from behind me, slowed and pulled over. I thought at last I have a ride! The car had out of state plates so I figured it was a salesman. They were good company. I sloshed up to the car, and opened the door.

He took one look at me and said, “You are all wet!” I said, “Yes, of course, I walked the last nine miles.” He said, “Well I can’t let you in, please close the door.” What could I do but close the door and watch him drive off, leaving me behind.

I became angry. I was tired, hungry, and getting cold. I railed against the weather. I yelled about how much walking I had done. I yelled, and then yelled some more. Then I stopped yelling. In the midst of my yelling, I realized there was no one listening. There was also no one to blame for my predicament but myself, and besides myself, there was no one out there on the empty highway to care.

I resigned myself to walking the rest of the night, and let my anger go, as it was not accomplishing anything. Less than a minute later, a car pulled over and dropped me off within a few minutes walking time of my house. Such is life.

Share

We are waiting for you

We should not define ourselves through the approval or disapproval of others, but rather by accepting ourselves and appreciating who we are. When we are young children, maybe even babies we do things that elicit a reaction. If moving the muscles in our face receives a response, we try it again. If it works a second time it becomes a part of who we are.

Being accepted and approved of by those around us is very important to our well being. It is what makes society function from a tribal setting to a country of billions. If we are not accepted by those around us for who we are, it is hard to be happy.

Often we take the need to be accepted farther than we should. We do certain things or perform certain acts, not because we want to, but because it is something we think we need to do to receive acceptance from those around us.

Often those rituals we are performing are restrictions we place upon ourselves. Dressing a certain way is a good example. When we are children it never enters our minds how we are dressed. It is only when others in our social circle start to notice what we are wearing that our clothing becomes important to us.

This forming and changing to conform rules our life throughout our high school and early adult years. We conform and change so often we are not even aware we are doing it, and have been doing it. As we change, we change our speech, our taste in television, books, and other entertainment, and opinions of people and the world.

We wake each day and put a happy face on for the world to see, showing everyone we come into contact with how much like them we are. We observe certain few people who seem to be naturals in our chosen circle and emulate them. We also start feeling less than because we are not that talented and natural at being who we want the world to see we are the same as that person or persons.

What would happen if instead of trying to be like everyone else with a few minor differences, we worked on becoming ourselves? Really being who we are, and not settling for being a little bit of who we really are?

Each day we wake, each of us makes almost invisible changes from who everyone thinks we are to who we really are. Most of the time we are not even aware of the process. It may be something as odd as waking up, and wondering why we said what we said to someone the day before. Or maybe why we watched a different television program the night before instead of the program we always watch.

Our inner self knows who and what we really are, and manipulates subtle changes in our lives to help us become us, and not a poor clone of who we think we want to be. Women are the most obvious and successful example during middle age. We men go through a major process too, but we are not as successful as women are in identifying and becoming the real us.

Those people we tried to emulate all those years, were themselves, and they were comfortable with who they were. The real us is perfect too once we remove all the additions and subtractions we made to ourself to fit in. The real us is the person who has stripped away all expectations belonging to others about us, and they become the person they were born to be.

Once we are us, and not an act, we start to have a clear understanding of why we are in this world, and what our true purpose is. At this point we enter in a race against time to accomplish whatever it is we were meant to do.

How much healthier it would be if we did not wait until some future time to become us, stripped away the facade starting right now, and became the real us. How much more we could accomplish as we perfect ourselves along the way instead of going through separate processes. Who am I, and what is my purpose would not be as painful of a process. We need you, start now on the path to finding you.

Share

Life and happiness you wish for – part two

part one here

Once again plan everything out as if you were actually going on your trip. Don’t forget to think about what clothes you need, shots, medicine, anything you would need if you were really going. Do you have enough clothes of the right type, proper transportation, good shoes for walking, a swim suit? Are you going skiing, scuba diving, fishing, mountain climbing?

Really think about everything you want to take with you, and what you will need to rent. Ensure you have planned enough cash reserve to cover any equipment rentals you will be making. Who do you want to bring along with you? Trips aren’t that much fun when you are alone, unless of course the trip is to get away by yourself.

Once your trip is all planned out, you have a road map of ‘THE’ plan for your life. How and what did you plan? What you spent your time planning out should be a reflection of how you manage your life. What kind of planner did you turn out to be? Is your plan and your life in sync with one another?

Are you a casual planner like me, taking some clean clothes and leaving everything else to fate? Or perhaps you planned to every detail, including travel dates and times, meals, entertainment and adventure? As the saying almost goes, “The devil is in the details.” Only this time it is not the devil in the details, it is you who is in the details.

However you have planned your trip should be a reflection of your life. If your trip is well planned, your life should be a well planned event. Having a difference between your trip and your life will make you miserable and unhappy.

For example, if your trip included three very close friends who you really would like to be intimate with (this is your dream trip after all), a monogamous relationship is probably not in your best interests right now. If you have every detail planned out including where you will be at certain times throughout the day, and how much you will spend each day, becoming a free agent is not a good career choice for you. Your plan should model your life.

If you find yourself troubled or frustrated about your life; wondering why things are not going the way you want them to, now may be a great time to plan a trip to wherever you have always wanted to visit? Taking the time to plan a trip will lead to you better plan your life and start changing your life into what you want your life to be. With your imaginary trip planned out, it is easy to see what should be changed in your life to better suit you.

Once you have your trip planned and your life changed, all you have to do is work your plan and you will be taking the first step towards your trip! So, when does the bus leave?

Share

Life and happiness you wish for – part one

I once worked with a man whose nickname was Cracker, and he certainly was. Cracker was very funny, and sometimes very witty with great insight. One of his favorite sayings to all of us who worked under him stuck with me. Cracker said it often enough that I will never forget it. I use it often myself in certain situations.

Cracker insisted we be neat, and clean up our work area. Men in general are neither if they we a choice in the matter. If it weren’t for women willing to share their lives with us, some of us would have a hard time telling the bed from the clothes pile next to it. What Cracker would say almost like a mantra was this: “Plan your work, work your plan, and clean up as you go.” I later worked in an electronics repair shop where they had signs that read, “Your Mother doesn’t work here, clean up after yourself.” Same idea, different song…

In many ways Cracker’s saying applies to life in general just as it did work. If you do not have a plan, follow it, and check on your progress, you may get lost, or worse. Getting lost or worse lends itself to an important life question which is the purpose of this post. We all ask ourselves the same question, and we spend our lifetime finding and answer and validating what we find. That very important life question is: What is the plan for my life, and what is my real purpose in life?

I thought of an easy method today of how to start traveling down the path which leads to our real purpose, which leads to a happy life, and a better world. Of course I have no idea about your life purpose, nor could I venture a guess of any worth, but what I thought of today will help you solve this puzzle, and at the very least get you going in the right direction.

I went on a road trip last summer to Minnesota with one of my daughters and two grandchildren. I know myself fairly well, and I know I am not overly fond of structure. What I started planning out was a plan to camp out each night on the way to our destination and back. After I gave my idea more thought, I decided maybe that was a good plan for me, but not good for my daughter. I then hit upon a compromise. We would drive until we did not want to drive any longer and then find a hotel that was not a part of a national chain.

As I was thinking today about that road trip, I realized what a great tool the planning portion could be for planning our lives! Planning a road trip, real or not will help you find your path to your future! No need to take a literal trip at all, the planning is the important part. Plan a trip that is at least a week long, although two weeks or possibly three weeks is better.

It doesn’t matter of you plan it on maps, through Google, or with a travel agent or company. The important thing is to create a plan for your trip. Let your imagination take you wherever you want to go. If you want to ski across Europe, then plan it out. If you want to drive through snow country, or swim in the Caribbean, plan it out.

Plan your trip as you need to until you know you could leave the next day and your trip would be a success. Make sure you account for everything you want or need while you are gone.

Part two to follow shortly….

Share