Welcome, ven a gozar!

I do not wish to sling mud, but the International Olympic Committee which stripped Marion Jones of her medals, may be throwing out the baby with the wash. They still have not decided who is worthy of the medals and redistribution of medals may not happen at the Beijing Olympics as many are hoping.

One of the athletes who stand to receive a gold medal stripped from Marion Jones, is, “…currently locked in a bitter dispute with the IOC over her eligibility to compete at the Beijing Games. …drugs rules violations after she missed a drugs test.”, according to an article by Karolos Grohmann - BEIJING, Aug 1 (Reuters). Another story released on the same afternoon, says she has been cleared and will compete.

Doing a quick search on the keywords, ’steroid banned athletes beijing’ is the web version of opening Pandora’s box. Articles on world class Olympic athletes either testing positive or being banned for steroid use goes on for pages. Now that there is swim-wear for those that can afford it shave even more time off of incredibly fast times, it brings forth a nagging little thought about what the real difference is between steroids and a suit? On the side of steroids, they at least are available to almost any athlete.

Beijing this year, as in Olympic games of past years are sending very mixed messages. This year I read that some athletes can expect to have their DNA tested to determine what their real sex is. Being inspected in the nude is not proof enough of your sexual identity any longer. Makes steroid use a rather moot point when addressed from this level, don’t you agree?

I have to ask myself again, if I were a world class athlete where rumors are rampant that many of the world class athletes I am going to compete against are potentially using steroids, what would I do? There are only two real forks in the decision from my perspective. Use steroids and hope you are not found out, or do not use steroids and diffuse into the land of could have been, working a McJob, knowing you lost your shot at fame to someone who is as likely to have used steroids than not. When I think deeply about using steroids or not as a fantasy land world class athlete, it all comes down to leveling the playing field. The field is either level or it is not. Not being found out for steroid use does not make the field level, and possibly losing out to someone who has probably used steroids provides no satisfaction either.

Again back to Marion Jones and her situation. Marion Jones is serving penance for every athlete who either has or is bending or breaking all published rules in an ever more difficult quest to keep up with the pack. It still feels as if there was no justice in this situation. The sporting news was and is rife with many other athletes who either confessed to steroid use, or voluntarily stepped down from their sport and laughed all the way to the bank. What was accomplished by the sentencing Marion Jones received really?

The law was followed in one case and ignored in a number of others. Of course other names attached to steroid use are not important, after all they are just one name among many, it is safer after all when you are a part of the herd. The message from professional sports appears to be it is not the right thing to do, to really take a stand on steroid use and abuse in professional sports. The message I still see in all this controversy is once again, what matters is whether you are found out, not whether or not you committed the crime. If you are found out, then it may become a matter of simple economics. The world in general is very comfortable with law and economics.

Between, or out of a relationship, feeling like you are the only person in the world who is not really part of the world? Everywhere you look people seem to be happy, enjoying the company of the person(s) they are with and enjoying life in general? Yet you feel alone and isolated from everything? Sound familiar? If so, guess what? The only difference between you and the people you see around you is the color of the grass.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, that is our nature. It is one of the truisms of our lives in this reality. Everybody looks happy at the particular moment you are looking at them because that is what you expect to see. You are expecting a whole world of happy people, and the world does everything it can to help you achieve your desire.

Don’t believe me? Let’s make a test out of it where you can verify the results for yourself. When you are going out in public the next time look at the people around you. I bet you will see exactly what you expect to see. Mostly happy people, paired or in a group, smiling and having fun.

The second time before you go out, make it a conscious effort to see people how they really are. Look at them expecting to see the real person, not the actor or actress because they know they are being watched. Look for those moments when they let their guard down because they think no one is watching them. What did you see after actively looking for people as they really are, not what they are pretending to be?

The third time you are out in public, ignore all the couples and groups. Spend your time instead observing those single unattached people. The people who are all around and walking around just like you are. How happy do they look? If you live in a big city or work for a big company this exercise is much simpler, because your pool of test subjects are there every day.

People in big cities like the world to think that generally they are really happy, but few are. Seeing the the real them, you rarely see any happiness radiating out. They generally mirror a look that ranges anywhere from mild determination, to barely disguised anger, on their faces and in their posturing.

In this experiment did you see yourself in any of the people you observed on the three different occasions? If you did, which group of people would you place yourself with? The happy, life is great people, the people who look like they are just trying to get through and escape out the other end, or those people who are really not happy, and do not care if the world knows it?

The wonderful thing about whatever group you think you fit in, is you are there by your choice and not by any misfortune, or anything you do not control. The world is a funny place, and at the same time it is full of mystery and the unknown. The slice of the world you are experiencing is the world you expect to see, and the world bends itself to your will.

Change how you think; put a smile on your face and the world will change to fit you. Think about how unfair life is, and how unhappy you are, and the world will do its best to bring events and people into your life to reinforce your expectations. You control and mold the world around you to whatever you want the world to be, but you probably are not aware you do this. The world as we experience it waits for you to decide what you want to experience and then makes it happen.

Just like the commercial about what’s in your wallet, you control what is your world. You will always be somewhat alone unless you make it your life’s goal to meld with the world, but you do not need to feel alone in the world, either, you are the creator of your reality. Create the reality you are happiest in, not the one you think you belong in.

It is now the middle of summer, and what a glorious summer it is for me! I have been outside a lot this summer enjoying nature, walking, relaxing, fishing, a little hiking. I listen to the birds, watch the rabbits, and squirrels. It makes me feel good just to be alive.

I see many people around me, whose only clue the seasons have changed from cold to warm is the fact they turned off their heat, and turned on their air conditioning. They are in a constant cycle, or rut if you will. I bet if I ask them if they had any song birds around their house, they would be hard pressed to remember if they have seen a bird. If I ask them about rabbits or squirrels, their only response would be as it relates to their driving.

They live in this little protected cocoon. The temperature is always just so, it never rains, the wind never blows, the birds never sing except when they are trying to sleep in. These same folks if they exercise at all, exercise in the air conditioned comfort of a gym, either at home, or a club. Their only contact with the natural world they should be a part of is going from a building to their vehicle, or vehicle to a building.

I do not think that we should be outside every possible moment. I do think we should make time each day to enjoy the world around us. Not just marking time in an indoor environment where nothing ever changes. What motivates me to get outside besides the fact that I enjoy nature, is I know my death is just around the corner. I do not know when that time is, but I know that every minute of every day my death is closer than it was just a moment ago.

I want to feel the sun on my face. I want to feel the wind blow. I want to feel cold. I want to be too hot and break out into a sweat. I don’t get upset over the shower water being a little cool because I am the last one in the shower, and we have to leave soon. It is either a cool shower, or no shower, but I know that I am alive in the shower. I want to feel my fingers get stiff from cold at times. I want to get a little sunburn now and then.

Because my death is just around the corner, I want to feel all these things, and sometimes I search them out. When I was not quite as mortal as I am now, I would take some risks with my body, and perhaps my life. I want to know I am alive. Because before I know it, my body will be in a refrigerator somewhere. My body will spend a day to two there, but it won’t feel any cold, it won’t know the lights are out. My body won’t know it has been taken out of the refrigerator and placed in a coffin. My body won’t know what happens after that either.

When I look around and see people driving with their ac on, and their favorite music playing, I wonder if they realize that there will not be a big change between how they live at present, the day of their death, and the few days that follow their death?

For myself, I want to know I am alive, and I am as much a part of the natural world as I can be. I do not want to go from a temperature controlled life to a temperature controlled death. How about you? Have you given any thought to the natural world, and your part in it? Is the natural world a part of your life? I hope so, because if the natural world is not a part of your life, you are cheating yourself out of half of your life.

If you live an inside life, go outside, get hot, get cold, get wet when it rains. Know you are alive, and the world is real!

I made it back home, it was so very nice to sleep in my own bed, get up at my own time, and look in the fridge for breakfast…well I will skip the breakfast part. I just want to sit and be a hermit for a day or so. I am one of those people who gets their batteries charged from being alone for some time each day, week, et-cetera, so a day or two alone is definitely what I have in mind for today. Even being fruit and lunch challenged, I really do not want to leave the house today.

One thing I enjoyed on the trip up to Minnesota and the ride back down is how people interact with each other, and how they show each other respect. Respect for other people has been twisted and mutilated in America over the years, imo. Respect is not some form of less than behavior or second class thinking. Showing respect for someone else is simply an acknowledgment that the person in front of you is worthy just like you. That is all there is to respect, or at least that is the basic idea of respect.

Respect has been twisted into an ugly violent, aggressive behavior in inner cities by people who think respect is commanded. These people live in a culture where respect is earned by violence, aggression, and brute force. That is not respect, it is only an acknowledgment that at that moment one person is physically superior to another. It sure is not any form of respect the average person wants or needs for themselves, or it should not be.

For those that remember the seventies there was a take off on the twenty-third psalm. It went something like this…”yeh, though I walk through the valley of death, I shall fear no evil because I am the baddest person in the whole valley.” If you were around in those days, you know there were a lot of similar versions of the same saying.

For me, in those days it did not mean that I was the toughest, strongest, or most violent person I knew, it meant that in some area, I was better at something than anyone else around me. There is always a whole pie to be sliced up in our daily world, and to compete in an arena that does not help the world be a better place is wrong on many levels.

In some areas that I drove through respect was commanded through fear and violence. It was not a pleasant environment to be in, but it is what ignorant violent people choose to manage their lives by. Too bad, because I am sure there is a lot of exceptional people and talent is being wasted on things that mean little or nothing to most of the country, let alone the world.

In other places, I saw people giving and receiving genuine respect from those around them, and it was pleasant to be in those areas where this for of behavior was prevalent. One does not reduce themselves by showing a form respect for another. The earth is really a small place, and as much as we sometimes think we are isolated from most people, how we interact with those around us does ripple out into and effect the whole world.

People show respect on different platforms, in the farming areas where it may be a person’s knowledge of farming practices, markets, or animal husbandry. In other areas, it was respect given for the wholesomeness of spirit and the willingness to really try and make a difference. In other communities, respect was shown for another’s business ability. At no time in these communities did I observe people being looked down upon, or thought to be less than the other person(s) around them. Everyone was appreciated for who and what they were, because deep down they know at some level everyone is important to make the world go ‘round.

As I sat on a portion of a couch with my Grandfather who was sitting in a Lazy Boy watching television on a black and white tv once told me… “Kid, if you are going to be a thief be a good one, if you steal a tv, steal a color tv, the penalty is all the same…” At least that is as near as my memory of that moment exists in my recall of being a child.

I worked as a deck hand for United States Steel many years ago at the ripe old age of eighteen. They paid me an incredible amount of money for what I did at the time, or so I thought. One day in Chicago I went to shore with another guy. He was farther up the ladder than I was and made a good thirty percent more than I did. As we wandered around a little slice of town where the cab dropped us off, he wanted to go into the dime stores. I thought that was a little odd, but we had nothing else to do with our time. We went into two of them and one small shoe store, and maybe a corner market. He never bought anything though, just wandered around and left. When we were back on the boat he started emptying his pockets of pencils, ten cent notebooks, erasers, and other small trinkets. He told me he could not help himself. He said he had been shoplifting like that for years. He said he stole small stuff, because it was the theft, not the item that satisfied his need.

I hung around and experienced the receiving end of other thieves through the years. I can say firmly, it has not been an uplifting experience. Nothing is ever stolen that hurt badly, but replacing things someone stole from you is at least an inconvenience. I imagine most of the stolen items were sold off at a small part of their worth. I hope whatever money the thieves were paid for the risk and their trouble made it worth it.

Recently I was at work, and sitting in an employee cubicle, where we take our breaks, and do a little surfing if we wish. We were given mugs a few weeks ago, and mine walked off, so I was using a replacement to enjoy a cup of tea with. Lately eating or drinking anything remotely warm makes my nose start running. I am not sure why, but it is annoying. I locked up the computer which really was not necessary because there were over a dozen idle computers already. But locking the computer, I left my cup, and notebook while I went in search of Kleenex.

I came back a few minutes later, and there was a contract employee sitting at my spot drinking the last of his soda. I stopped and looked at him. The light turned on and he said something to the effect that he was sitting in my spot and I was the one who locked the computer? I nodded yes. After a short pause he said, “and that is your mug?” Again I nodded yes. I thought that was an odd question…. He stood up saying, “I guess I let you have it then.” Again an odd phrase, but it was early, and I am a little slow sometimes.

I am a little slow, but it dawned on me after a few minutes what his intent had been, and why he was where he had no business being. In a round about way this brings me back to my Grandfather and his statement about stealing a color television. My mug can be purchased within five minutes of where I was sitting for less than a ten dollar bill. That is an important thought.

If that individual had been more daring or I had been a few seconds later, his intent would have cost him his job. I would have had no recourse but to turn him in as a thief to security on site, and report him to my boss. Of course it would have rolled up the chain and back down to his boss who would have to remove him from the site. I doubt his company would keep a thief on the payroll fwiw. He was essentially getting ready to put his livelihood, integrity, and future on the live for an object he could have bought with the money he probably earns eating his lunch on company time. Not the brightest light on the tree if I do say so.

Some people steal because they have to, and some because they want to. For the second group, all I can say is their decision making processes are very weak. Risking your job, home, family, and possible freedom for a trinket that could be bought for a few dollars is beyond stupid. As a little kid, I did not understand what my Grandfather was telling me. I thought then it was about the price difference. Over the years I have come to understand it is about so more, that the price has little to do with the act itself.

That person should be grateful I came along when I did. Rather I think, he is bitter he did not act in time and told himeself next time he will be quicker.

I was playing Holdem last week and played two non standard hands that both won the pot. In Holdem terminology, I played two pieces of trash and made the nut on the river with each one. In this particular instance in poker terminology it could be said, again in that I was tilting. Nothing new there, we tilt all the time, most of the time without even realizing it.

Tilt applies equally well to everyday life. Driving fast in the morning to make it to work on time, studying for a test late the night before, these are cases of tilt in action. Perhaps you lost your patience with someone for no obvious reason, or the sight of someone you dislike makes you suddenly angry. These are all instances of every day tilt in action away from the poker table.

One of the most interesting things about tilt is it sneaks up on us, and unless we are really aware of how we are behaving and why, we tend to go on and off tilt almost every day. Think about today, and try to remember if there was any time period when you found yourself having feelings or doing something before you realized it? Maybe something as simple as making a biting ‘deserved’ comment before you realized it ‘slipped’ out of your mouth?

These are some simple examples of how we tilt everyday. Tilt for poker players is deadly to their money, and something all good poker players try to avoid. Here is an example of why a poker player going on tilt is so serious. Pretend for example you are a just starting out professional poker player. You payed attention to all the advice and you saved up six months living expenses and enough money for your poker playing bankroll to ensure you will not go broke. You have now left your job behind and you are starting on your new lifestyle.

You wake up in the morning and feel a little tired, perhaps you had a drink to many last night celebrating, and had a little less sleep than you should have to be completely rested. You get ready to eat, but there is nothing in the fridge so you go to a coffee shop for breakfast. Your eggs are not cooked the way you like them to. You send them back and they are closer, but not right, but you eat them anyway. The coffee tastes a little bitter too.

A few more little annoyances happen in your morning and it is off to the poker room. The person who puts your name on the board for a table seat leaves for break, and as some time goes by you realize that people who have arrived after you are being sent to a tables with open seats. The poker room manager apologizes for the error and finally you get to sit down and start playing.

There are a couple of really poor players who are really getting lucky in spite of themselves. They have ran you down (beaten) a couple very good hands you have held. You start to take it personally, and decide you are going to show them who is the best player. Suddenly you realize that the chips you traded your hard earned money for to play in this game today are almost gone! How did that happen you wonder? As you start to think about it dawns on you that you are not in a very good spot. You are tired, angry, and not making good decisions. In poker language, you are on tilt, and just now realized it.

Remember those trash hands I spoke of? I played those on purpose to tilt some players at the table. One player, a pro left the table and took a long break when my second hand tilted him. A second less experience player, became angry and decided to punish me by aggressively playing against me. He lost a lot of money before he went home broke. We all tilt every day. Watch yourself for signs of tilt, so you do not end your day wishing you could do a few things over.

There was a time when the people I surrounded myself with were a very mixed bunch. On one hand I enjoyed hanging around with smart people who had vision for their lives. On the other side I hung around with people who apparently were going nowhere and were happy that way. This was before I was out of high school and starting life in the real world.

Once out of school not much changed except my friends who had vision for thier lives moved on to accomplish whatever goals they had set for themselves. For my own part, my friends were changing as the more focused people were leaving, and more unfocused people took their place.

It was a hard balancing act for me, I had ambition and drive, but the people I hung around with most of the time did not. I would spend my work time trying to do a good job, but in my personal life nothing was changing. It was the same old grind every week. Looking back I can see I was sliding backwards in my life by the people I chose to have around me. They had no real goals for their life, and I was keeping myself from mine by being with them.

I slowly changed my friends, and made a more serious attempt to change my life. It was not an easy task though, as I was acclimated to a certain group of people and a certain life style that goes with it. The groups I wished to be a part of saw me as someone who did not belong in their circles. It took a lot lot of time and frustration to change. Change is never and easy thing to do, and it is much harder when you are changing your whole life in the process.
 
I feel that at some point along the way I completed the change. I look back at the young me and I think I would not recognize him if I could somehow go back in time and meet myself. That is not to say my personality has changed, but the way I envision life these days definitely has changed dramatically.

The point of all this is who you are, what you want, and who you choose to have around you determine you, like it or not. If you have goals and ambitions you have not yet realized, you may want to take a close look at those people you choose to be with. On a day to day basis, do they help you, hinder you, or neither? Many of my friends were in a neither category, which was a hidden hindrance. It is hard to have friends who are leading a life style you are not a part of directly, but you are involved in by default, and not become like them.

If you find yourself in a position like I was, it is time to start evaluating what your friends are doing for your life. If your friends are not a positive influence in your life, and you want to change and grow, plan to see less of your current friends, and start making new friends. While this idea may sound selfish and self centered, and it is, at some point and time if you do not change yourself, you become who your friends are.

It is important to remember you are not leaving your friends behind, rather you are choosing to grow away from them for a chance to improve your life. Most of them will see you as moving on, although a few may not and there is little you can do about how they feel. You will notice they will find a replacement friend to fill the spot you left faster than you will find new friends to spend time with. Do not expect new friendships to replace old friends. Be patient, as there is little you can do to speed up the process. The best you can do is remember you are trying to improve yourself. If your friends are paying attention they may even want to follow you and improve their life too.

I doubt everyone has done some soul searching over this, but I know I did. I had to decide for myself what was the right thing for myself and my family. People who study our behaviors have come to a few interesting conclusions. Only two have any relevance to this post. The first is that most of us spend too much time dwelling on our faults and not enough time celebrating our successes. The second behavior we share as humans is we are great at blocking out negative factors in our lives we choose not to think about. For us, it seems if we do not think about them, they do not exist.

The reality is they do not exist until they come to pass, then if we are still around to reflect, we chastise ourselves for not seeing this extreme risk, and taking steps to prevent it. A great example is smoking. Growing up in my generation more adults were smoking than not, or so it seemed. There was a major not smoking campaign throughout my school years, and of course like well brainwashed children I was convinced about the evils of smoking and would harangue my parents about their smoking.

After I was out of school a few years, I found myself buying cigarettes for my own pleasure. Over those few years from leaving school to that point, I managed to dull down the dangers of smoking, and turn it into something real men did, so I should be smoking too. There is nothing like a group of men all standing around smoking and joking to make a young man think about how fun it would be tpart of that small social club.

After some years passed, and I went to some funerals of friends and family members who all seemed to have died too early, smoking started to lose its appeal. The biggest factor in changing my mind about smoking was my children. I did not want them being exposed to smoking so they would be less likely to become smokers themselves. It didn’t happen overnight, but one night I smoked my (almost) last cigarette and started down a new life path.

Time marches on I arrived at forty, and a new set of challenges were waiting for me. Mostly about what and how I ate. All men see and hear of other men who were fine one second and dead the next. Men that fell over from massive heart attacks. At first it just seemed like it was the destiny of men to fall over dead form heart attacks. After all heart attacks caused the demise of several male members of my family. That’s just the way life was.  Of course other men came out of the woodwork, and we now know that is not the way life is at all.

We have access to more and better information regarding our health and welfare than we ever had before. In just a few hours of serious net searching, we can become familiar with just about any health subject. One area we still lack in is denial though. There is no medical breakthrough to stop us from living in a state of denial. If there was, I doubt as free adults we would subject ourselves to that particular cure either.

The biggest health concern I see for us is the foods we choose to eat. We are surviving on some really poor food choices. Most of us pretend poor food choices are okay. If eating fast or fried food had the ’side effects’ of smoking, many people would not be eating those foods. Because the major health problems poor food choices have on our bodies are not visible we go on pretending that eating how most of eat is okay. It is okay, until you find yourself falling over from your heart having exploded in your chest, then it is too late. Company advertising is not going to tell how deadly these foods are either….

I am urging everyone who finds that a major part of their diet is fast food, or fried food to really think about how good that food is, both in health and in taste. Are those food choices really so good that they are worth the risk hidden in those foods? If anyone has children, is eating fast food and feeding it to your children worth dying for and leaving your children to grow up without you around, and facing the same health problems? We can ignore a lot of bad things in our lives and usually it is okay, but poor eating choices have no warning signs until it is too late. Make aware food choices, and be there for your kids. Don’t allow them to grow up eating the poor food choices you are making.

I watched the movie Patton starring George C. Scott today. George C Scott takes on the role of General George S. Patton and makes it very believable. This is not the first time I have watched the movie which came out in 1970 and I doubt it will be the last time I watch this movie. The movie revolves around General George S Patton and his remarkable achievements during World War II as a predominant commanding general of American allied participation during the war.

Of course most of my uncles were veterans of either World War II or the Korean war and opinion usually flowed freely about WWII field commanders and who was the best. Of course as it turned out, all the men present served under different commanders. Naturally each man thought his commander was the best of the bunch and the others were second rate wanna be’s. This conflict is present in the movie also. The Allied forces had some pretty large ego’s involved in their efforts and those ego’s come through pretty well.

The reason I bring up the movie is because of the feelings that Patton invoked in his time and the feelings the movie invokes. Patton is portrayed as a troubled hero who has no political savvy in a time when the world was changing. Patton is portrayed as a hero and and a man in the the movie. General Patton also lived and breathed war. Per the movie he believes he has lived many life times and fought in most great recorded battles found across Europe.

The movie portrays General George S. Patton as a hero who has his faults. General Patton as the movie portrays him is only a hero in his realm which is war. When General Patton is not in the feild commanding his army, his lack of political skill brings him trouble. He is shown as having problems with everyone from Presidents to fellow generals and enlisted men. General Patton on the field with his army was in his element and his men did not have any love for him, respected him, and did what many considered impossible for him.

There is a rather old song, where a Man in a long term relationship is reading the singles section of a newspaper, and an ad catches his attention. It is an poem ad asking if he enjoys certain other things that are not part of his present life. The Man apparently has been with the same woman for some time now, and the relationship for whatever reason has grown stale. The Man thinks he is ready for a change, and this one singles ad in pretty intriguing to him.

The man answers the poem type ad, with a poem type reply. He suggests at the end of his reply ad that they meet at a favorite hangout of his. Once they are together they can start planning their future, and he can plan on how to get out of his stale, boring relationship he is currently in.

He arrives and takes a seat. Then if memory serves me right, in walks a woman. After one look he knows it is she that placed the ad. The woman who walked through the door is his long term girlfriend! They laugh and seem quite comfortable with the thought that they are both bored in their relationship with each other. Now though, it appears that they both enjoy things that neither of them talked about in all the time they were together. The song ends with them laughing and planning their new improved future together.

The song has a lot in common with most of our lives. We get up to an alarm going off, and do our morning ritual to get ready to leave the house to our work or school. From leaving the house to the end of the day we spend our time mostly on autopilot. One day blends into the next, and the next, until it is the weekend again. Occasionally something interesting happens and we come out of our fog to check it out, but generally we slip back into the fog we call our life. So we have a lot in common with the song when looked at from this perspective.

How different our lives would be if we were not spending them on autopilot? What if we started each day with the intent of seeing everything through a new pair of eyes, or form a new perspective? What if as we went though our morning routine, we actually participated in what is happening to us? The texture and smell of the soap and shampoo in the shower; the crunch or subtle tastes hiding in our breakfast; the sounds and sights on our way to work or school; the fun and pleasure of accomplishing a task that we have not bothered to feel anything about in years?

Actively participating in your own life adds a lot more enjoyment and importance to your life, than simply going through the motions. Even if you think your life is boring, and your job is worse, until you change something to make it better, it is the best life and the least boring job you have at the moment, so take advantage of it. Do not let yourself be lulled into sleepwalking through your life!