Welcome, ven a gozar!

It took me along time to figure out how to enjoy my life. I used to think that I had to be busy every minute, and every day should be filled with non stop events morning to night. After all that is what all the life style books, and the circuit speakers would talk about, doing what is most important each day.

They were the four windows, pyramids, and there were numerous scales where you could rank your projects, line up you meetings, your day, your life, other peoples lives. I lived in California at the time in the Sierra Nevada mountains. There was only so much to do, and I had a lot of time to read when the money ran out and I was partially homebound.

I read another version about how to live life to its fullest and to get the most out of life explained in a new way. At least if you left off the main purpose of the books and distilled what was left - that is what I came up with.

Except I did not really understand what I was reading…. How could I have a very full day generally doing nothing at all? How was it possible to get up each morning and enjoy one boring day after the next? Some years later I started understanding. I started having little short glimpses of how life is supposed to be.

I think it started with an old worn out man. An old man, and not good for much by a younger man’s standards, and pretty much a waste of space by an average teenager’s view of the world. But he had something I had never seen before. This old man who could not walk twenty feet, enjoyed going outside every day, sliding around on his butt and taking care of his yard!

An old happy man sliding around the grass digging up dandelions and tending flowers, drinking a beer, and not really caring that he could barely walk, I was curious enough to spend some time with him - an hour a week maybe spread across summer afternoons.

He used to tell me about when he was a younger man and able to do more. He said he lived pretty much the same as everyone else. He told me he thought life was okay back then, but nothing to get overly excited about. He said he drank a few beers, smoked cigarettes, and went through the motions of raising a family.

Eventually the kids grew up and started their own lives, his wife eventually took ill and died. His only boy left in town did not spend much time with him, had his own family. He figured that was pretty much the way life went.

Then he told me he became ill himself. He was in the hospital for a while, I am not sure with what, but as he lay in his bed, he started thinking about his life and how special it was even though by everyday standards it was pretty simple and common. Work, eat, sometimes sex with the wife, and sleep. Do it again, play with the kids on Saturday, and go to church on Sunday.

Somewhere in thinking about his routine he said he realized just how special those days were. He told me of those days were special, and every day was special, even if it was spent in a hospital bed. As time went on, I found a few more people like him, men and women both. Usually older, but they all understood just how precious their life was, even if it seemed dull and average looking in. It was the only life they were going to get, and they looked at the world with new eyes each day.

I know some of what they learned rubbed off on me, because eventually I too started to find life more exciting. I could even enjoy going to work most days! My life is what I choose to make of it. Once I decided to enjoy mine, time became short and precious. Now even the simplest things are more enjoyable, although my time is much more precious than I ever thought possible.

Some nights like tonight, when things are quiet, and the music is just right, I can feel my end approaching. I know it will be tomorrow when my world will be changed forever, and everything I know will be taken away. Strangers will be my family, and if I have any mind left, I will live in a world where none can enter.

A world of memories returning. Thinking thoughts I haven’t thought in decades. Old friends and family members I have all but forgotten will become my closest companions. If my body is wasting away in a corner, or perhaps a bed, waiting for me end, my memories will help comfort me.

If I am very lucky, I will go to bed one night, lay down, turn out the light, think about those most important to me and how much they mean to me, how perfect the world is, and go to sleep. Never to waken again. Someone will find what is left of me, and go through the motions that we go through at times such as those, but my race will have been run.

I can not be sad about it, I have spent my life knowing death waits with me, marking time behind me, over my left shoulder. I am grateful for this knowledge. Death has been my councilor and guide for many years, and there is nothing to fear in death for me. Whenever I question what I should be doing, all I have to do is look over my shoulder, and I see that little swish, the flash of what is visible changing into what is not.

I make my best decisions at that moment. Decisions are easy to make in that instant, because everything I have done up until that moment is weighed, and my path is laid out before me. I can move forward confident that the path I take is the correct path. Consulting death brings me calm, knowing what is important and what is not.

Life is what is important. Making decisions that benefit others without impairing or causing harm to myself is important. My life is my most important possession. Something I do not own, and have so little control over is the most important thing in the world to me. Without my life, I can not do those things I must do. I am not even a spec of dust in a sunbeam.

So when the music, darkness, and my thoughts are aligned, I can feel death behind me, marking time. I know my time is not this instant. I also know that I can not waste what little time I have. Time is too precious, and there is too much to do.

When you look at me, and it looks like I am doing nothing, wasting my time, remember that wasting time is not something I do. I may be resting, or collecting my thoughts. I may even be consulting my final end, to determine how whatever weighs me down at the moment ranks in importance to my final end.

Even if I am lounging about, taking naps between sips of now cold tea, know that I have received my guidance from an honest source. Even now as I type this and listen to the music dancing through the air, I know this is exactly what I should be doing. I also know that when I am done with this task my most important tasks of today are almost done.

The dishes did not get washed, the grass and weeds did not get cut, and dinner did not get cooked. But none of that is important when weighed against those things I did that really matter. If tomorrow I do not wake, I will have passed over knowing that I took care of those most important things in my life with all the thought and care and attention to detail that I was capable of. If I do wake up in the morning, it will be a wonderful day, because I will already know those things which are most important and which things do not matter.

Stepping away from myself, these are the things I wish for you too. It is my desire that you too finish each day knowing that if you do not wake in the morning you have completed those things which mattered the most in your life. If you do wake in the morning, I pray you know what matters most, and what is idle distraction at best. Unfortunately, and it makes me sad to write it, but your time too is short. Make the most of each minute, and when it looks like you are wasting time doing nothing, you and I will know the truth of your actions, and how well your time is spent doing what is most important in your life at that exact moment.

I was thinking of all the smaller things I am grateful for that are normally overlooked or ignored. So much of the time when reflecting on what is good in life we always tend to think of the big things, and the little things fall by the wayside. I thought this may be a good time to reflect on the small things that are as important as the big things. As a cook that taught me how to cook many years ago said, “The big things take care of themselves, we have to pay attention to the little things.”

I am grateful for my Dentist, and one other Dentist that proceeded him. As someone who spent more time in a dentist chair in school than most people do in their lifetime, I can say, my dentist is a great Dentist and, and a great person too. On one of the fingers of my right hand, I have a scar where a ‘dentist’ jammed the broken remains of a Novocain vial into my hand because he was angry. Most of the other dentist’s were not much better. The Dentist I see now is light years beyond them all!

I am grateful for my Doctor. He is not a pill pusher, and he actually listens to what I have to say and models whatever I need around me whenever possible. I know many people have doctors who hand out pills like they were candy, but that is not medicine to me, that is hiding problems. There was a doctor I had to see due to my job who wanted to do a prostrate check on every male patient he saw. Doctors like him used to be the standard, little knowledge and little caring.

I am grateful for the mechanics that work on my car. The job has become so specialized tool equipment wise, that the days of shade tree mechanics are about gone. Over the years I have listened to and watched customers be taken advantage of by mechanics. It is a sad thing to see, the greed in the automotive repair business, I am grateful my mechanic is honest, and recommends used parts whenever possible.

I am grateful I was given the opportunity to travel around the country and see some of the world when I was younger and mostly single. There is nothing like going to another country and actually living in it. Understanding peoples lives in that area of their country to help me appreciate how good life is here. We want for little that we need, and for almost all of us, we live much richer lives than we need to. This kind of life is not possible for most people in some other countries, even those countries we see as aligned with us.

I am grateful for the person delivering my mail, and the person picking up my trash. They do excellent jobs, and are rarely if ever recognized in their line of work by their customers. I have never delivered mail, but I have family members who did. Often they were out in the worst of weather, working like dogs in the Christmas seasons, and generally working harder than most of us on most days. I had been a garbage man for a short stint, and it is a hard nasty filthy job when dumping cans by hand. When trash is picked up by one person and a truck, it becomes a job something like the person delivering the mail. So much work, and sometimes not enough time.

Finally, I am grateful for the wonderful people that check me out at grocery stores. They stand in one spot all day, talking to hundreds of people a day…and most of those people are complaining. They listen to complaints about the store, or the prices, or the parking. When it is not complaints about the store, it is about something that they have no control over, the traffic, someone’s neighbors, kids, dogs, on, and on, and on. I think these people should be paid by the minute for listening to complaints.

My list of things I am grateful for goes on and on too, but I think I have mentioned enough big small things I am grateful for this week.

I was happy for vacation during Christmas, which was half of our holiday season. I was so busy enjoying Christmas for a change, I never had a chance to think about it. It’s behind me now, and it was nice as it lasted. If you read my blog you read some of my frustrations as well. What prompted my blog, is one of the things I am grateful this week.

When I was a child we would get rare phone calls during the holidays. Usually Christmas, New Years, and Easter were the big days. People from out of town would lay down a few dollars to call our house, extend holiday greetings, and do a quick catch up on life since the last phone call. That was back when a phone call like that was a few hours work by someone to pay for the talking.

As a teenager, it was great fun to pick up the telephone, and ask to be connected with an operator somewhere in the United States. Once connected I would make a few seconds of small talk, and then end the connection once they caught on to me. That was about as big as my world was at the time, somewhere in the States.

With computers, there are very fast connections to all over the world. I have spoken with people in Denmark, Germany, England, Malaysia, the Philippines, Portugal, Brazil, Mexico, New Zealand, and Canada as easily as you are reading this. All it took was a little daring on my part, and a lot of patience on theirs. We traded thoughts, and hello’s, sometimes even simple conversation, even in their native languages! Written language seems to have commonalities that spoken language does not.

Now with blogging, my world is even a smaller place. No longer am I reading, and sharing one line messages, but reading and sharing complete thoughts, ideas, and concerns. I am grateful for this opportunity because every year more countries and people are online and sharing. When I read something that was written, I can focus on the ideas.

I have the opportunity to share ideas, and concerns in my life. When reading and posting, it does not matter how many areas of our lives are different, or how little we have in common, what happens is we start enjoying what we do have in common. We start to see and understand, that under all our layers, we are people. We want the same things for the most part.

I prefer a life that can be lived in peace. I want my family, and children to be safe. I want a comfortable life where I want for nothing important. I had always felt that deep down all people wanted the same basic things for their lives, but the internet has made it possible to know how alike we really are. It was odd at times when I would be trading messages with someone when their country, and mine were having problems, sometimes small, sometimes not so small. But both of us, one sentence at a time, reaffirmed to the other we wanted peace to prevail over all else. What a warming thought that was when it happened knowing that perhaps our country’s disagreed, but we were the same, and wished for the same things.

Which brings me to you. I am grateful you take the time to read this, and learn a little about me in the process. It does not really matter if you are down the block, or around the world. I am grateful you are here. Hopefully we share the same wants for ourselves, our family, the world.

Because others like you taken time with me, I have learned a lot about you too, and I enjoy the idea that such good people like you are out there. I hope we can continue to make the world smaller, and a better place for us all. Thank you for your time, for learning about me, and for being you!

My first day off of my work week today and it sure feels good to sleep in. It would feel better if my cat did not have to come and wake me up to see if I am really supposed to be getting up or not, but we sometimes have to accept the good with the bad. It provides balance in our lives. I am grateful for all the pets I have had over the years. They help me prepare for everything in my life.

I had turtles when I was very young. I only remember because I did not know how to take care of them when it was time for them to hibernate, they started to stink instead of sleep like I was told they would do. While I never learned how to create a place for turtles to hibernate, I did have a quick lesson in death.

Next it was Guppies I had in a glass one gallon aquarium. I was given some weeds to put in so the guppies had some place to hide. They hid so well, when my Mom decided to clean the aquarium we counted over ninety guppies in various stages of growth. Deciding there was too much weed, the population was quickly reduced by guppy cannibalism. I learned about predatory behavior from Guppies.

We also had dogs over the years. One was a Spaniel/Labrador mix who had been hit by a car as a pup. His stomach muscles were hurt, and his belly was very low to the ground. One of the neighbors accused him of jumping a six foot fence and breeding with their Chihuahua. I was too young to understand about sex, but I did learn that sometimes people tried to pass off stories that were not completely true. That poor dog could barely climb stairs without dragging his belly let alone jump.

A few years later another dog who had made into his late twenties was dying in a painful way. My Mom and Dad talked it over, and decided the best thing to do was put him down. Put him down meant a bullet in the head in those days. My Mom took out the vacuum cleaner, and furiously started vacuuming an already clean floor as my father went outside with the dog, and did what had to be done. He was gone a while, but when he came in my Mom and I knew the dog was asleep, never to waken again. I learned about sorrow, and loss from that dog.

Next was a horse my folks had bought me. He was a Tennessee Walker colt. I could not ride him as he was too young, so he roamed the pasture with my sisters horse. One week we had some friends horses in our pasture, along with our own, and they were close to fighting. It was cold outside, so I dressed in a jacket with a hood and went out into the pasture among the horses. My horse picked me up by the hood of my coat and shook me all the way to the fence, and then threw me over the fence. I did not know it at the time, but I was given a harsh lesson in love by animals for their human family members. I do remember crying for about thirty minutes though….

Some years later the Spaniel/Labrador was at the end of his life. He was arthritic, and moving even slightly was very painful for him He could no longer walk, and did not care to eat or drink water. A family discussion was held, and it was decided that I would be the one to put him down. I had to carry him from the basement to the appointed place. I remember how hard it was to see where I was walking, stumbling at times. I said what I could manage to get out, and pulled the trigger. As much as it hurt, I knew what I did had to be done for his benefit. I learned about life, and love that day - and the pain of loss.

Many more animals came and left over the years, all of them leaving me with those special lessons that only a pet can give. I am grateful for all of them, and hope there are many more pets waiting for their turn in my life.

As I was making a cup of coffee this morning, I was thinking about what I am grateful for today. I threw out yesterdays coffee grounds and rinsed the permanent filter out. Then I rinsed and filled the cup with water so I could fill the reservoir. I put the cup back where it goes, and pushed the power switch down. In about three minutes I have a great cup of very hot coffee that I simply pour into a better cup than the insulated travel cup the Brew n’ Go brews into.

I have been using this little one cup maker for a number of years now, and I have been very happy with it. It has replaced my Braun coffee maker, and it replaced my French press coffee maker, although my French press makes a slightly better cup of coffee.

The Braun coffee maker makes an excellent cup of coffee, it just makes too many of them at one time. I do not see the sense in making a single cup with a big coffee maker. The French press makes the best coffee, but it too makes more coffee than I usually drink in a morning, unless I am really into twitching that particular day.

I have owned my thrifty little Brew n’ Go for a number of years now, and it has rarely failed me. The only problem I have had with it is a the little one way valve where the water is let into the heating unit, comes out every few months. I simply push it back in and it is good for another three or so months.

A second of my favorite drinks in the morning, and occasionally later at night is a nice hot cup of tea. There is nothing challenging about making tea. I am all for simple is better, so for my cup of tea, I simply fill a mug with water, drop in a tea bag, and heat it up in the microwave until it is just short of boiling. I then let it sit and steep for about two minutes, and I have a great cup of tea waiting for me. I have enjoyed different teas in different areas of the country and world, but a few brands do stand out for me. I really enjoy Rose tea. I also enjoy a Japanese tea, Yamamoto Yama Green Tea. I think they are good value for the money and they taste very good.

I am happy having a nice bowl of oatmeal these days for breakfast. There is nothing outstanding in the oatmeal department in my weekday morning. I usually am very happy with the Walmart brand of instant. It is quick and I think it tastes okay. Others have told me it is not that all that great, but it works for me.

One the weekend though, especially in the winter, I really like to make a steel cut oatmeal that is imported from Ireland. The oatmeal is named John McCann’s, and it is different than oatmeal most of us are used to eating. McCann’s oatmeal has a different texture and a nice nutty flavor that is really good with a little butter, and some sugar to sweeten it up a little.

I have moved far away from my little coffee maker and into breakfast, but I am grateful for these other foods too in the morning. They make life a little more interesting, especially on the weekends. Now if I could only find some black cherry tea here locally. There is one brand here that I have found, but it tastes like hot black cherry soda pop. Not exactly my idea of a good hot drink.

I do not live in snow country, but I used to live in the snow belt. When I did I would have been really grateful if all the snow that fell overnight, or was pushed back into the driveway by the snow plow would remove itself without my help. Unfortunately, that would be moving from being grateful to fantasy.

This is a military story, Air Force, overseas…years ago. I think often of the men and women serving overseas, because I spent three years serving outside the United States, and I remember how quickly during the holidays I started missing home, especially Christmas at home.

Starting about this time of the month radio stations would start playing Christmas music along with regular songs. It was nice to hear Christmas music playing on the radio just like I would at home. Of course the DJ running that segment had his own comments about the season, and what his family was doing for Christmas. That part was okay, because with a little remembering, I could guess what my family was doing each day.

I would remember they would like to get together as a group and shop on this day. Christmas meal planning would usually be coordinated over the phone for the Christmas feast. They would meet at one of their homes, bake cookies this day, and maybe the next day too. Then there was the individual family baking. Those little treats that one family may enjoy, that were too time consuming, or costly to share with everyone.

So it really was not too hard to be home for the holidays in my imagination. I could keep track between the calendar and my imagination what was going on at home. I think we all did this. Unfortunately being in security, and guarding something in the middle of the night with my M16 rifle, flak jacket, helmet, and flashlight for company, it was a little hard to keep the holiday spirit going. Some of the other guys in my Flight would get care packages, which would be sometimes shared at work, so that helped some.

When television was less than spectacular, and I was not working, I would occasionally listen to the radio. As I mentioned there were the regular Christmas songs, so it was easy to pretend I was close to home, but off doing something, so no family, or friends were around at the moment.

When the date moved around to about the fifteenth, it seemed one Christmas song in particular managed to be played what seemed like four times an hour. Care to guess the name of the song before you read on?

If you guessed, “I’ll be home for Christmas”, give yourself a pat on the shoulder for a good guess! It seemed that every other Christmas song played was, I’ll be home for Christmas! After about a week of it, I could hear it in the back of my head while doing other things. I could even hear it in my sleep, or so it seemed!

Every December, since I came back to ‘The World’ (as it is was called then), portions of some days, and some nights only part of me is here, and sleeping in my own bed. Another part of me, is standing next to some nineteen year old who is out in the rain, or cold, with no light, heat, or company, thinking about what his or her family is doing for Christmas, and how he or she would really like to be there too, even for a few hours.

Before I spent my time in the military, I never gave the people serving a second thought. Since then, I am very aware of how even the ‘safe’ folks overseas are sacrificing for me, so I can have a happy fun filled holiday season. I won’t even attempt to account for how the folks in combat zones are fairing. I know none of them will be home for Christmas this year, but when they do get home for Christmas, it will not be the same for them either. So when I seem a little preoccupied, it is probably because I am thinking about what Christmas means to those who are not here to enjoy it. It is hard to know what it is like serving overseas during an important holiday, unless you have been there. Lots of fun, is not one the phrases generally used to describe the Christmas season.

I have been thinking all week about what I could write that someone wants to read about that I am grateful for this week. I ran through my list of everything I am grateful for that I have not mentioned yet, and none of it seemed worth mentioning because it is too trivial, or important just to me.

Every day I sit at my computer I see a box of Christmas cards off to my left. They are not special cards, or expensive, just the every day run of the mill cards that we buy at the store to fill out and mail to each other. I imagine for someone who has never been in my computer room they would seem out of place. Whether it is January or July for a number of years now, they would see the same box of cards.

The reason they are here and not in a landfill a decade go is not because I filled them out and mailed them, is because I have not. I tell myself each year, I am going to address the cards, write something personal inside of each one, and mail them. Every day this time of year I tell myself I am going to do it tomorrow for sure. I started telling myself this year I was going to write them them tomorrow back in October. That way they would be ready for December, and I would actually mail them for once.

In the mean time every Christmas season I receive Christmas cards from family and friends. I receive just enough that the guilt of myself not sending any out again is enough to spur me on to keep that box of cards out until next year. Every day they are out, and I see them I am reminded of my family and friends who have sent me cards over the years. I am grateful for those who do send me cards every Christmas, and I feel guilty I never manage to myself. This year is going to be different, or so I tell myself once again. I am going to surprise everyone who has just about given up on me. I am going to fill them out tomorrow and have them in the mail.

I have decided I am going to do the same thing with the packages I never manage to get in the mail until after New Years. Packages are a lot different. The post office gets so busy this time of year, and the carriers are working a lot more than they should have to. Then because it is so busy, all packages receive some pretty rough treatment. They get thrown, slammed, and crushed. I do not want that to happen to packages I send, so I end up rationalizing why I should wait until after New Years to send them out. That is usually when my Christmas packages are sent. Around the fifth of January.

Now my shameful secret is out and made public about Christmas. I am one of those people with great intent, and terrible follow through with Christmas cards. If you are one of the people who year after year send out Christmas cards to people like me, I am grateful you are there and you send them knowing you probably won’t hear from me. I am grateful you think enough of me for whatever reason to know how much I treasure each and every card, and how bad I feel I never mange to let you know that.

If you are someone just like me I am grateful for you too. I am grateful for you, because the reasons I am grateful this week, will be perfectly obvious to you because you are just like me. Which ever group you are in, I am grateful you are there, and you do what you do. Keep it up, I sure appreciate you!

Today is my Sunday. Some special things have happened since last week. First was getting together with family for Thanksgiving. It is always fun when the family is together in one place. Old stories are told because they are always funny and everyone laughs. New stories are told, and laughed over. We take time to see how individual families are doing, how the kids have grown up, who the the grandkids look like, and ourselves. We sit down and play games, and I get to watch the interaction as family members change back to the time when they were all kids playing Monopoly on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Once home, I found an email waiting for me from a family member I haven’t spoken with in a long while. It sure was a surprise and a special treat for me on the end of Thanksgiving weekend! The world is so spread out and vast in some  ways these days. We move, move again, and we lose touch with each other as we mold our lives, and our future. One day turns into a week, then it’s a year, and before we realize it, a long time has gone by. Perhaps that is one of the things that makes this time of year so special. We think about friends and family we have not seen or spoken with in a long time. We have those special memories from times long past, when our world was another shade of perfect.

Back at work, some of my friends asked how my blog was doing, and some probing questions around it, audience being one them. I talked about the subjects I find I enjoy writing about.  They offered some tongue in cheek suggestions for increasing readership. Among their suggestions is becoming more political and move out towards the edge, any edge, or both edges where people have strong feelings. They offered up many suggestions which include:

Pro Bush

Pro Clinton

Take an anti green stand

Global warming is a lie

Global warming is going to end our world

Support abortion

Support pro choice

Animal rights - either side

Support baby Seal hunting

Cheer for the whale hunt

Support fur clothing

Motivate people to support burning more coal for energy

Reducing emission controls

Gun control - either side

Pro War, anti War, more war

Suggest we all send money to the helicopter wolf hunt in Alaska

Cheer for China’s use of the U.S. and perhaps World market as a dumping ground for its use of lead and other contaminates in their exports, in a covert effort to dominate the world by poisoning our children with deadly toys

Support RAP and Gang Banging as the American way of life

The list went on of course, the more we talked about it. While I am grateful for their suggestions, and I have no doubt people would get worked up no matter what stance I took on any of those topics, it just is not somewhere I want to be. It took me years to understand that people have their opinions. They usually do not change their opinions for less than very compelling reasons. So if I went down any of those paths as blogging topics, I be forced to move from a place where I feel comfortable to an area where argument and controversy reign. I do not care to be the blogging version of a radio Shock Jock.

While my friends are being supportive of my efforts and want me to quickly move up the ranks in blogger-hood, I will stick topics that I feel are worth my time. I want to come home from work, and write about what I enjoy, and feel is important. I do not want a blog about  something that I may not only not enjoy, but find it gets in the way of my enjoyment of life.

This brings me to the final piece of what I am grateful for this week. I am grateful you take the time to read what I write. I hope you continue to find it worth your attention and more importantly your time. Further I hope somewhere along the line, you read something that helps you or someone you know. Thanks for reading!

There sure are a lot of ideas about important issues in the world! Whether your concern is politics, religion, sports, global warming, or the black-bellied-dew-lover, there is someone out there who has a different opinion on the subject than you do. I remember being shocked in a college sociology class when one of the reasons given of why poor people exist was so wealthier people have a baseline from which to judge their success. I thought that was a very poor reason, but I am sure there are many people who need [dollar] poor people to feel better about themselves and their position in life.

Opening the door to discussion and poor people, there are many people in the world who believe in other reasons of why there the worlds poor exist. Some believe they were in a different reality or state of being before coming here. In that place, they plotted out their lives in great detail depending on what they need to learn or accomplish here on their earth journey. I can see how this thinking has appeal, as it is reasonable. It may explain why there is so much needless suffering and pain in our world, and why so little seems to be done about it that actually helps it.

Of all the people in these life situations, I wonder if any of them, even a large enough percentage of them to be a slight majority, feel they selected the life they are living? I can imagine myself, plotting out my life so it is comfortable, with a few bumps in the road, but overall an easy life to get through, and I have plenty of opportunity to accomplish what I think I should be doing here on earth.

I can not on the other hand imagine myself choosing to be born, live and die, in a nameless slum in a mostly poor, under developed country. Somewhere where I would rarely go to sleep wrapped up in the contentment of my life. A life, where many of my brothers and sisters, and friends, died from hunger, or other childhood diseases would be terrible to live through. Or even worse, be one of the many thousands in war torn parts of the world where I would have been mutilated, and disfigured because I have the wrong family roots.

What noble spirits these people must have if indeed they plan out their life in such conditions that even the poorest person I know is living like royalty compared to them! I like to think I am a somewhat caring person, and I try to make this world a little better every day. But if all those spirits who chose a life of suffering get from me is a lukewarm effort to improve the world, I wonder if it is worth it for them?

Then of course some people feel that they live an impoverished life because they need to learn something from it. Edgar Casey who’s writings I have a lot of respect for is in this group of people. I remember reading Casey doing a reading of a woman with polio who had a crippled hip and leg. Casey in his trance-like state told the woman she was crippled in the hip because in another life she was a Roman citizen of some status who laughed while a woman in an arena was being savaged by a starving lion, and her hip was crushed in that lions jaws. Casey said this woman was paying the price for her actions. This version of life carries a lot more meaning to me, and is also much more sobering idea than the previous version, and thinking about it too long makes it somewhat frightening.

There is another group of Christians who take yet another spin on this thought. They feel that the bible verse about the sins of the fathers being visited upon the heads of the son’s is directly speaking of karma and reincarnation. The problems we suffer in this life are a result of something we did within three previous lives of this life. This is another idea that when thought about too long could cause some long term sleepless nights for some people.

Just to round things out, there are the children’s stories, where bad people somehow always meet with a bad ending. Somehow these stories make life a little better, leaving me with the idea, that everything balances out in the end. As an adult, it is just defining that end point where everything works out for the best that causes sleep loss.

Today this day is set aside to be grateful - here in my country. Grateful I am, that if any of the above beliefs are true that I am not among the starving, the poor, or the wartime victims. I am grateful, for a life that is stable, and as secure as I have a right to expect. I have good, abundant food to eat, hot water, and clean clothes. I am thankful, that while I may not be doing everything I can to make the world a better place, I happily do enough to look at myself in a mirror, and sleep at night.

I hope your life is filled with things that make you content. I hope you can look yourself in the mirror and know that you do what you can. Perhaps every one of those beliefs is valid and true, only our view changes. If those people did before coming here, choose that life of poverty and despair for me to learn from, I hope I am a worthy student. Finally, I hope we both do not look down upon those who appear to have less than ourselves, and we do what we can to improve their situation, even a little.

As the saying goes, remember the reason for the season. Happy Thanksgiving!