New Years Resolution You Want to Do

Posted on January 4, 2011 by venagozar

It is January 2011 and many of us are starting our annual cycle of frustration, guilt, and unfulfilled wants in the form of New Year’s Resolutions. If you read my New Year Resolutions post from last year, you know I am not a big fan of New Year Resolutions in their present form. I offered up some ideas for changing New Year resolutions into something you can really use and feel proud of because they are obtainable ideas.

This year, I suggest another option for New Year Resolutions. Making amends, and letting those around you know how and what you really feel is my thought for this year. While it may sound a little silly, or perhaps something that sounds a little uncomfortable, yet is a healthy thing to do. Coming clean so to speak with those around you is liberating, for you and for those whom you love and care about.

One of the big misses for me when I was a child came in the form of endearments. While there was never any doubt how my Parents felt about me, it was rarely spoken. Rather how my folks felt about me was sent to the realm of being a given. When I grew into adulthood, I found it hard to express to those close to me, how I felt about them, and how fortunate I was to have them in my life.

Take a few moments and think about your life and how you interact with those around you. Maybe we have something in common when it comes to being open and grateful of those around us? Actions may speak louder than words on occasion, but heartfelt words can also quiet the restless beast. Maybe speaking a few words will bridge that slight distance we feel when we are alone and thinking of those around us.

It takes an especially strong person not to reflect us back to us, and be themselves instead of another form of us when we are together. People who can do this are rare, those people who always make us feel special even when we do not feel too special ourselves.

This year I propose that we let go of those artificial barriers we set in place separating us from all but those rare personalities. I have found the world does not end, the sky does not split, and the ground does not swallow me up when I say the unsaid that comes from the heart.

Instead I find that people in my life are empowered to be themselves without my personal barriers preventing them from being themselves. Life feels better when those walls are knocked down and you empower yourself to say what is in your heart and not let it remain locked up inside of you.

The poets of love have always written it feels better to share your heart with another rather than keep your feelings locked up. When it comes to matters of the heart, even if the other person does not feel the same way, you no longer have the burden of how you feel locked away in a dark corner. Family members and friends may know how you feel about them, but they will feel better if they not only know, but they hear how you feel about them.

What is in it for you is the feelings of distance and aloneness will slowly dissolve, and you may learn that most people, even strangers care about you and your well being more than you would have guessed. Change is hard. Making resolutions that fall by the wayside is harder. Try rewarding yourself this year with a resolution that makes you feel good about yourself and those around you, and see what happens!

Misunderstood Roadblock to Growing 2

Posted on December 14, 2010 by venagozar

Then one day we suddenly have a need to improve our spiritual self.

We start out in our Mothers body growing from a tiny piece of flesh waiting to being born in what will be our vehicle for this life. We grow into childhood, teenage years, adulthood, old age, and eventually we die, unless our life is cut short by an accident or other cause. It is an automatic process, and whether we want it to happen or not, whether we appreciate it happening, or hate the fact we get older, it happens. This is our physical body as it conforms to the concept of time, and the wear and tear we place on our physical self.

Our non-physical self, no matter what you choose to call it, and please call it whatever you are comfortable calling this part of you, does not have a need to change with the years. Almost all of us have certain behaviors we use that we learned and used as toddlers. If a behavior works, why bother changing it? So we do not change certain behaviors because they have worked – more or less – since we were toddlers.

Then comes a day when for some nagging yet vague reason, we start out on our journey of spiritual growth. We want to become more than we are. At first with the help of books and copying successful behaviors, we find we are very successful. In fact, we find it amazing how much easier life has become since we started out on our path.

We are not satisfied of course, because it has been pretty easy up until this moment. If it is this easy getting here, why stop now? That is how I felt, and I bet this is how you feel if you want to grow even more. Next, we go out and find books, articles, and people who use all these jumbled words I mentioned in part one. We try our best at doing what we understand those words and phrases to mean, but nothing really happens.

We do not seem to be making progress, and our development, growth, path, whatever you choose to call it, grinds to a halt. “What in the heck are they talking about and why isn’t it working for me?”, you find yourself asking in your head, in a hundred different ways.

If you want to further personal growth, you can not grow much further only reading books, listening to someone talk, or sitting at your computer. You may not be able to grow because of the life style you have, or the career you are in. You may not be able to grow because of how you choose to live your life. You may not be ready to hear the truth. Truth and direction does not arrive until you are ready.

If you want to change and grow beyond where you are now, it is not easy. Here is a start of what you need to do. You must to develop real and true empathy and compassion for all people. Step out of the center of the circle, and know there is no circle with you in the center.

Find a way to care for people around you. Help them in and with their struggles, but let them do the struggling. Know you are in each and every person, and they are in you. You need to drop, “me” from your thinking and your speech. Learn, know, and believe that you are part of everything and everything is part of you.

Until you can do these things, you may as well go back to what you were doing before you came to the spot on the path you are now on. There is no other way of finding and understanding what all those words and ideas mean otherwise.

This is why a few people have found their way, while so many remain stuck. This is how your new spiritual growth, path, journey, whatever you choose to name it will progress. None of us may ever make it as far as we want to go along our path, though we all need to keep growing. My best to you on your path.

Misunderstood Roadblock to Growing 1

Posted on December 12, 2010 by venagozar

If you are walking a path either spiritual or a personal development quest of any type, you are most likely frustrated by the glib, off hand way the your most important question is treated.

It seems most writers or speakers who stake a claim of expertise in the process of Spiritual Development or Personal Development either choose to gloss over what you really need to know or do not really know themselves and of course can’t tell you, what you want to know.

If this were a site for profit I may be doing the same thing. It may be that is how for pay authors and web sites make their living. In some cases I think the person behind the scenes really may not know how to go about giving you what you need to move ahead in your journey. The write out some some easy picking fruit and leave the hard to explain fruit hanging on the branch.

Sooner or later in this type of endeavor everyone hits a point where the next step you want to accomplish is improving your spiritual self. It may not be understood as such, Raising your spiritual self is written so many different ways, sometimes it is hard to tell what the writer means. Some writers write, “Increase your awareness”, and let it go at that. Other writers write about, “Increasing your vibrations”, raising your energy frequency or something else as vague. What the heck is vibrational frequency anyway? Still others write or talk about your Third Eye, Chakras, Kundalini Rising, etc; the terms go on and on.

I may be too narrow in my thinking about all the terms that are used to describe different ways of doing the same thing. Maybe they are speaking to a different audience who understand exactly what they need to do and how to do it. Words and thought that are understood by the smallest child in some places leave adults in other parts of the world feeling of helpless.

So what is all this jumbled talk about awareness, kundal-who, frequency changing and the rest? It is really quite simple to understand, and a lot harder to actually undertake because misunderstanding follows closely on the heels of a new idea.

These terms all mean the same thing. They only represent different ideas or thoughts of the same thing. What you want to do is change your spiritual or inner self. I bet you are saying, I know that, what a waste of my time to read all this only to be told what I already know.

The key is learning and growth is understanding what do you change yourself to, and how you do it. Everything else is so many letters and words flowing into the galaxy of written words. Most the Authors and Writers, and perhaps Speakers, are most likely all talking about the same thing, only they are using different words and ideas to attempt to explain the ‘same thing’.

Life is a process. Our physical life for much of our life is forged for the first twenty-five years or so of our life. Our spiritual life on the other hand marches to a different drummer, and ignores time. For most of us we manage our physical world fairly well. Then one day we suddenly have a need to improve our spiritual self.

How to Really Accomplish Life Change

Posted on November 9, 2010 by venagozar

If you read my previous post, you know of my frustration over why people do not seem able to make real lasting changes in their life. Many people are happy where they are in life, and prefer not to step out in a new direction because new directions are scary.

People try to follow a new plan for a day to a month, then the life they have previously created creeps in, and before they know it, their life is in the same as before. For others, the goals they want to achieve take decades to accomplish, and they become frustrated in a few weeks or months.

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest problem is too many people miss or gloss over as not important what really is most important. What nine-hundred and ninety-nine out of every thousand people who want to make changes in their lives miss is the single most important part.

People are so busy doing what they think is correct, follow a set of rules or manage a flowchart, they miss the key element. They polish and rearrange the tasks of their todo list. Once their list is as good as they can make it, they check off step one, which was to make a list.

Some amount of time goes by, and they check off the second task. Some time later a third step gets checked off. Eventually the list comes to an end. They know they have made some positive changes in their life. They also know the level, quantity, or quality of change they were expecting did not happen, and they do not know why.

They become morose and disenchanted with the process because real change did not happen as they thought it should. They forget the whole idea until a Change Your Life Package shows up again – in another form. Then they remember this is important, and they start all over again.

What is missing? Why do so many people miss or believe what is not important is needing to become totally involved? Totally involved rather than making and checking a list of tasks. Checking off tasks is useful for doing many disparate items that need to be done. Checking off tasks is important to help one track progress toward a physical goal, checking the steps involved.

Checking off tasks with little or no inner awareness of participating is doing no more than externally acknowledging some amount of work was done. Doing work is simply what it sounds like. Doing work is completing tasks. Doing tasks does not changing lives over the long term unless your inner you is involved.

For real, permanent change, you have to actively involve the inner you. Much more so than completing steps 1, 2, 3, or putting check marks next to items a, b, and c. Not putting you into the process is cheating yourself. Knowingly or unknowingly sabotaging yourself, keeps you from changing. You must be the center of the change. Actively seek opportunity and put you in everything you do. If you are not present and actively looking for pathways to change, you are only completing a checklist.

We all know someone whom we consider very successful. No person who is successful stays that way by accident. Successful people are always looking for opportunities to be successful from the time they wake up to the time they go to sleep. They may not be cognizant of what they are doing as it becomes second nature, but they are actively looking for opportunity all the same.

If you are related to someone successful or know someone well enough, pay close attention to them. You will notice over time, no matter what they are doing, they are looking for ways to how the situation may be made more beneficial to them.

Successful people are ever in the center of their lives. They actively look for and often find opportunity. Every opportunity does not work out as well as they hope. With time and experience they refine their purpose for change and learn to make the most of every opportunity. They are actively including themselves in what they do instead of simply wondering when they will be able to check off the next task.

To make real change you must have your inner self involved in any and all change you wish to create. Creating a checklist or flowchart moves you from one point to another, but does little to change your situation into something you want your life to be.

Actively look for opportunity to involve yourself in the change beyond a checklist or flow chart. The universe with all its power to effect change cannot help you effect change in your life unless you are an active part of the process. The more of you that you place into making creating change in your life, the grander and more pronounced that change will become. Input equals output.

How To Create a Life You Really Want

Posted on November 7, 2010 by venagozar

Have you ever heard anyone who is having continuous problems in their life, talk about what a happy life they are leading? Have you ever heard anyone in school with poor grades mention how they get good grades and mean it? How about someone who drifts from job to job talk about how easy it is for them to find a better paying job than the job they were last let go from?

I almost never hear someone utter those words or thoughts in reference to their life. If you have not read it here on this blog, you have read or heard about self limiting beliefs other places. If you have not read or heard about shaping and creating your own life on this blog, you have read it somewhere else.

It has frustrated me that so many people have read from many differing sources, ideas and ways to change their life; yet nothing ever changes for them. They read something here, or somewhere else, get all hyped up, and start trying to do what ‘everyone’ says they should be able to do, and nothing changes.

Until recently I was of the opinion that nothing changes because they do take not any idea of changing seriously. I thought perhaps they try out a suggestion they have read about over and over, and after a week or two give up on it.

A second possibility occurred to me that perhaps those people who were not able to realize any change were comfortable right where they were and they preferred the present circumstance of their life to the possibility of improving their life. I know a few people really do not what their life to change. Change is scary, what they have for a life may not be good, but it is comfortable.

I see it every day when a few people do the same things over and over again, expecting different results from their actions. It reminds me of an old computer saying, “input equals output”, which was a programmers pleasant way to say, “Garbage in, Garbage out’.

While reading last week I came across another explanation. Once I read it, I knew the reason people have trouble with ideas like LOA, and other Life Changing Strategies is because no matter how it is explained, people are not understanding what they should be doing. People read and read, practice, and practice some more, and nothing changes. All because what is so obvious to everyone who has used they strategies is omitted in the telling.

Law Of Attraction generally tells people in one form or another how to create a thought and then let that thought go out into the Universe. The Universe using some unknown magical ability is supposed to take your wish and make it reality. Poof, your wish has come true!

Other life changing strategies including my own, are to start living your life as if you have achieved your goal. Sounds pretty simple on paper from my side of the fence. If you want something to change, start living your life as if the change has happened. Works for me over my lifetime, it should work for everyone same as it does for me.

There are many who would rather I did not say what I am about to tell you. They are making a lot of money and really would rather not do anything to unset that proverbial apple cart. Some experts send desperate people down the path of pay for which does not really tell anyone anything they do not already know. Or they provide a multi step program, at so many dollars a step, never quite reaching the end.

People are using what they know to achieve what they want for their life, and the heck with the rest. The immediate goal is financial, with ulterior reason hidden away in private. The only thing separating you from them is either in the end they do not tell you what you need to know. Maybe they tell you what you need to know, but it is so disguised, that when you hear or read it, you probably gloss right over it. More to follow in the next post.

The Truth Of You

Posted on September 20, 2010 by venagozar

I wrote this tonight as a response to a blog comment I left and the Author replied back. I thought there may be something here for you?

Thank you for the opportunity to follow through, I hope I do not fall short.
Think of a real Bad Guy in, or better yet watch the movie, “3:10 to Yuma”. The Bad Guy knows what he is and makes no apologies for himself or his actions. He knows his life purpose, and he is comfortable with himself. He is the best Bad Guy possible, as he works at it with his all.

The Good Guy is your current persona perhaps? He is not sure what he is, and does recognize his inherent goodness. He is wishy washy, and not comfortable within himself, or perhaps does not know how to define himself. His self created life problems finally push him over the edge, and he has to become what he was alway meant to be.

Unfortunately in the Yuma movie, his end came too soon, but before he dies, he learns his life truths, and the real Good Guy shines through so strongly even the Bad Guy is illuminated and changed in his presence.

~~~

I will give you a small helping hand but it is really up to you to follow through. During your quiet time determine what you know about yourself and your world, not to be confused with what your authors, myself, or anyone else says or writes, only what you know to be true for you.

…this is not an earth moving experience…let it be something as simple as:

1. I am here in this life to____. Make a few simple statement that defines you.

2. I have important things to do with my life such as _____.

3. Over the next (time period, at least a month to notice a difference) I will _____

Get some social goodness in your life.

4. I have brought these gifts ______ (list a few of your unique gifts) with me to help others. I will help others by _____ (doing what?)

That is more than enough to get you on your way. Actually it is too much. After my first number one stop and do not define any more about yourself until some later point.

The most important idea you should take away from this – is identifying what your reason for living is, and how you can best share your unique gifts with others.

It is possible you are doing exactly what you should be doing, and neither you, I, or anyone else is aware of it? What a wonderful gift you can bring to the world by sharing yourself in this way!

Whatever you find to be true, you need to define those gifts that are you. Fine tune them and let the rest of us experience them in a positive manner.

Self Truths are not a massive sun rising out of an abyss, Self Truths are more like a foggy morning turning into warm autumn sunshine by afternoon.

Take little steps, but keep stepping.

Welcome, Ven a gozar!

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