Welcome, ven a gozar!

One of the keys to being happy is to be truthful with yourself. If you can not be truthful with yourself, how can you expect to be happy? Being truthful with yourself is hard at first, yet anyone can do it, and everyone can find themselves happier with their life by learning to be truthful with themselves.

If you think you are truthful with yourself, try a little experiment. Think about something that someone has mentioned to you about you that you know is a an area in your life that could use some type of change.

When someone mentioned this to you, how did it make you feel? If it makes you feel angry, it is likely something in your life you are ignoring. If you are ignoring this, and you were aware of it before it was mentioned to you, you are not being honest with yourself. If you are not honest with yourself, how can you expect to be deep down happy?

It is not easy being honest with yourself. It takes courage and it takes some amount of work at times. A simple example is someone who you feel drinks too much, or gambles too much. What you observe about them, and what they perceive about themselves are usually very different.

For most of us, being happy, is nothing so dramatic as admitting we have an addiction or other problem. It is generally more subtle, because we do not make the connection between one action and another consequence.

For example my really losing weight instead of pretending to. I found out a lot about my thinking about food and eating habits when I seriously decided I wanted to lose weight. Up until that moment I knew I should lose weight, but never followed through. I would have these thoughts as I was at a buffet having a second desert after a second helping. It was easy to justify my actions telling myself I would eat less over the next few days to make up for this meal where I ate too much.

In this situation it was impossible to be happy with myself, and the contradiction I placed myself in. Yet for many years it was the norm for me. It was not until I came to terms with what I was doing, that I found happiness in this area of my life.

Another example from my life is my post, Dark Night of the Soul. I lived for decades being miserable because I refused to accept what I was and who I am because it did not fit into my definition of what I thought I should be. More to the point, I let my ego run my life, and I followed along in the distance. Of course if we let our ego decide who and what we are it will never match reality. Having our own idea of who and what we are is a side effect of ego.

Of course these are major life events, they are also good examples of how we let ourselves get in the way of our being happy. Happiness is not a switch we turn on and turn off, at least for most of us. Many of us have to struggle. Going to a lake and watching people is a good example of how we get in the way of our own happiness.

A good written picture I read recently to clarify my thoughts: There are two groups of people present, those people standing or sitting along the shore and those in people on the water in boats. Due to our nature, the people on the shore are thinking about how nice it would be to be in a boat floating or moving slowly along the on the lake. The people in the boats think about how nice it would be to be on shore, be able to stand up and stretch, or even lay down on a blanket and take a nap.

When we spend our time living our lives in one of these two groups, no matter what our personal situation, it is a real limiter to our being happy. Be aware and do not let yourself get caught up in what you are not, or can not do or be, your personal happiness is at stake.

I do not wish to sling mud, but the International Olympic Committee which stripped Marion Jones of her medals, may be throwing out the baby with the wash. They still have not decided who is worthy of the medals and redistribution of medals may not happen at the Beijing Olympics as many are hoping.

One of the athletes who stand to receive a gold medal stripped from Marion Jones, is, “…currently locked in a bitter dispute with the IOC over her eligibility to compete at the Beijing Games. …drugs rules violations after she missed a drugs test.”, according to an article by Karolos Grohmann - BEIJING, Aug 1 (Reuters). Another story released on the same afternoon, says she has been cleared and will compete.

Doing a quick search on the keywords, ’steroid banned athletes beijing’ is the web version of opening Pandora’s box. Articles on world class Olympic athletes either testing positive or being banned for steroid use goes on for pages. Now that there is swim-wear for those that can afford it shave even more time off of incredibly fast times, it brings forth a nagging little thought about what the real difference is between steroids and a suit? On the side of steroids, they at least are available to almost any athlete.

Beijing this year, as in Olympic games of past years are sending very mixed messages. This year I read that some athletes can expect to have their DNA tested to determine what their real sex is. Being inspected in the nude is not proof enough of your sexual identity any longer. Makes steroid use a rather moot point when addressed from this level, don’t you agree?

I have to ask myself again, if I were a world class athlete where rumors are rampant that many of the world class athletes I am going to compete against are potentially using steroids, what would I do? There are only two real forks in the decision from my perspective. Use steroids and hope you are not found out, or do not use steroids and diffuse into the land of could have been, working a McJob, knowing you lost your shot at fame to someone who is as likely to have used steroids than not. When I think deeply about using steroids or not as a fantasy land world class athlete, it all comes down to leveling the playing field. The field is either level or it is not. Not being found out for steroid use does not make the field level, and possibly losing out to someone who has probably used steroids provides no satisfaction either.

Again back to Marion Jones and her situation. Marion Jones is serving penance for every athlete who either has or is bending or breaking all published rules in an ever more difficult quest to keep up with the pack. It still feels as if there was no justice in this situation. The sporting news was and is rife with many other athletes who either confessed to steroid use, or voluntarily stepped down from their sport and laughed all the way to the bank. What was accomplished by the sentencing Marion Jones received really?

The law was followed in one case and ignored in a number of others. Of course other names attached to steroid use are not important, after all they are just one name among many, it is safer after all when you are a part of the herd. The message from professional sports appears to be it is not the right thing to do, to really take a stand on steroid use and abuse in professional sports. The message I still see in all this controversy is once again, what matters is whether you are found out, not whether or not you committed the crime. If you are found out, then it may become a matter of simple economics. The world in general is very comfortable with law and economics.

As a kid, I used to go to a YMCA camp for a few weeks at a time. I mentioned a little of those days in an earlier post, ‘Canoeing and decision making in the BWCA’. If you run a search at my blog for YMCA you will find it, or click on the link.

Camp was a place where everyone was made to feel special. The councilors and staff were very special people. They each had many gifts that apparently I lack. More likely I just would not have the patience to hone my skills day in and day out as they did at camp. They were our Mom’s, Dads, Teachers, and Baby Sitters twenty four hours a day, a week at a time. They took care of us kids - from all walks of life, different life experiences, needs, and problems. They did a spectacular job, and I admire them for what they did for all of us that were fortunate enough to attend their camp.

I was watching television last week (?), The Tonight Show. I rarely watch The Tonight Show, but there is a die hard Tonight Show fan in the house. If I am in the front room when The Tonight Show rolls around, I watch the show by default. I was doing something this particular night when Jay finished his monologue, and was talking with his guests.

Jay had someone on who has their own show, and they were discussing politics of course in a round about fashion. The talk turned to the presidential candidates and they danced around race without really naming race as an issue in the debate.

The guest, (wish I knew who he was, so I could give him credit) made an interesting observation from some data collection, or surveys, or other data mining. The guest said that there is division among voters that is driven primarily by age. The dividing line seemed to be around fifty years old. Americans over fifty were more likely to take race into consideration than younger voters who appear to be ignorant that the race of an individual might be taken into consideration of their ability to do a job.

Growing up as a kid, I experienced ‘The Pill’. The pill caused a huge ripple in society because for the first time in history it allowed women to be as sexually indiscreet as men if they so wanted to be. That was the biggest freedom to come into woman’s life in decades!

A few years later, and fortunately for me I was in my teens, the Woman’s Rights movement was in full swing, and burning bras became a national pastime for some women. As a teenager, I had no idea of the full impact of the movement, but I sure was a happy camper when I saw the first women walking down the street bra-less! That was about the extent of my understanding, and I did not realize the political overtones of her actions.

One summer at the YMCA camp we were in line to go swimming, and two boys were making fun of a third boy. One of the boys and the odd boy out were to tag up for safety while swimming, and I was to be the buddy of the other boy. I did not understand why they were making fun of him, but I said I would be his buddy. We hit it off, and we were swimming buddies all week long. There were a couple more incidents as I remember. The situation repeated itself with a few boys who were black the same summer.

Each time when I got home I would ask my parents why these boys were being singled out and teased. My folks would frown and look troubled as they thought out a good explanation. It was my introduction to the world of social presumed inequity and intolerance. It seems after watching Jay Leno the issue continues, at least for people over fifty.

I am glad I was there for, ‘The Pill, Martin Luther King, bra burning, equal rights, and every other social change that happened during those years. While it seems apparent that we as a generation did not cure ourselves of afflictions that should have been laid to rest years ago, our children thankfully have a more mature view of the world. I am happy I was a small part of that, even if only as a ignorant, ogling teenager.

I was reading a few blogs the other day, and I thought two posed interesting ideas. The first was prose about Perfect God, the second about brainwashing not being possible (Of course I can not find the blogs now). Later that night, the movie, “Last Temptation Of Christ” came on. I had a little nagging feeling that there was a link between the blogs and the movie, but I could not put them together.

As life works, today I found myself in a discussion about handguns and drugs. The talk was about how much better our worlds would be if handguns could be kept out of the hands of gangsters, and if drugs could be controlled and legalized. What a great idea, but we do not have what it takes to make the world a better place overnight. Maybe in three or four generations we will see those changes but not next week.

One of the people mentioned the bible parable of the seed sower. If you are not familiar with the parable, it goes something like this. A man was planting (sowing) seed by hand. Some fell by the wayside and was eaten by birds. Some seed fell in rocky places where there was not much soil, sprouted and died. Other seed landed where it was supposed to, received everything it need to grow, and grew beyond the norm. At least that is how I remember the parable.

Suddenly I had this flash of insight about the blogs, the movie, and the conversation - a Perfect God, brainwashing, and the sower parable. To me the diction following the parable of the sower parable does not flow with the sower parable. It seems to me as if it were taken from somewhere else and dropped in as an after thought, or a clever deflection lest a truer meaning be found?

Stepping out on a limb, what if the parable is not about the general interpretation people attribute to it? Some people believe it is a veiled admonition to be the grain in the best earth, and develop strong roots, and thrive. That is all the story is about, and there is nothing to understand or decipher, or bring forth from the teaching.

Those who refuse to live a wholesome life are the seeds eaten by birds. Birds are all the things that befall those who do not live a wholesome life. Other people are the seed cast on stony ground, sprouting, growing quickly and dying (literally or not) way too young.

That is the general explanation I have heard since I was a child and that explanation certainly meets the needs of the self righteous. It provides them with everything they need to confirm that they alone are on the right path and doing the right things, and the rest of the world is lost. I thought for many years, that this explanation is all there is the the sower parable. It certainly feeds the ego if nothing else.

What if it is really a literal reflection on life as it is? Some people never have a chance at a good life. Other people start out with the best of everything, but they make a wrong turn, and their life is ruined along the way, drugs, violence, or something else? Only some people - of all the people on earth will become what they were meant to become and reap the fruits of a wholesome life?

That would be where the Perfect God fits in, the parable tells us that is how life is, not that we all are able to become the wheat planted in the best soil! The brainwashing not possible idea would be the thought that the parable is exactly what it states, and nothing more. Perhaps some of us have been blinded (brainwashed) to its true meaning? The movie, and the conversation both talked about the sower parable. William Dafoe stated the parable in a matter of fact manner in the movie, and today we all took the generally accepted version of the parable, seeing gangsters and dug users as the poor seed by their own choice.

These are the things that go through my head when I have too much time to think..about seed planting, and life.

Over the last weeks I have been around a few people with really funny quirks, not that I have any myself. Oddly enough the oddities are all around eating. Because eating is a major part of our existence, it strikes me as kind of funny that well balanced intelligent people have amazing gaps in their thinking.

One of the things about my eating habits is people find it odd I do not eat always eat foods at the proper times. One person told me they could not eat dinner food for any meal other than dinner. They find it odd that I occasionally eat what they consider a dinner food for breakfast, or I eat what most people consider breakfast food at dinner time.

For me, it is a non issue, food is food, and if I have an urge for a roast beef sandwich at breakfast, and a bowl of oatmeal at dinner time, there should be nothing there to raise an eyebrow over. There is the idea of skipping breakfast which was a point of some discussion. In my thinking, for most people skipping breakfast, they are eating too much food the night before. Sleeping very late in the morning also happens from eating too much the night before.

I have found in my experience that if I eat a reasonable amount at night, it is very hard to sleep too late in the morning due to feeling hungry. I am sure there are a few people who just can not eat breakfast, but I do not think they are people who get ready for bed by knocking off three scoops of ice cream preceded by an evening of foraging through the cupboards and refrigerator.

As children we pretty much think whatever our parents and our friends think. We do not have any reason to think any differently. Our world is contained and controlled for the most part. Unless we are exposed to some completely different type of thinking it is doubtful that we have much original thought in us.

As we grow into adults and our world becomes larger, we start to think about ourselves, and our place in the world. We open ourselves up to other possibilities than those that have been given to us by family and friends. We become aware that there is a whole world out there and most of those people out there in the world live much differently than we do, and they seem to get along just fine too.

But then we have these little oddities that somehow we never think about. Back to food again. I can not see myself eating say a beef and kidney pie. I spent three years in England, and never had the urge to try one, even though many people told me they were very tasty and worth trying. Give me a nice slice of roast beef, or a beef steak and I am one happy camper, but no kidney thank you very much. I also eat hot dogs, and occasionally have been observed enjoying a bologna sandwich.

Bad news for me, because beef kidney and beef steak all come from a cow. Hot dogs, and bologna contain most parts of a cow, that I would rather not think about. Waste not want not comes to mind for the making of hot dogs and bologna. Most prepared foods are also proud that their meat is 100% beef, they just do not lay any claim to specific parts of beef, or chicken for that matter.

This is where our thinking goes off on a tangent, not only about food but other parts of life too. All those people in the world we wish would disappear live in the only world there is, just like us. We can pretend we don’t eat soft meats, but we know we probably do. We just don’t see them in their natural state.

So it is with people in our world. Some of us dislike certain groups of people for hundreds of reasons. We may not have any real sound reasoning around out thinking, and we overlook it. We need those people to make our world complete, and they need us for the same reason. It’s all beef when we look a little closer.

I left Minnesota three days ago and I am now in the Dallas/Fort Worth cooling my heels. On the drive up to Minnesota I bypassed Kansas City for a look at more rural country. On the way down here it was I35 all the way. There were a few serious thunderstorms along the way which made driving tough, and slow. There were also a lot more flooded and wet fields where it looks doubtful that anything will be planted that will be ready for the fall harvest. Somewhere along the way there were some very flooded rivers and one lake that must be ten times the size it was the last time I drove by it a few years back.

I find I am pretty tired. I don’t want to sleep any longer than normal, or lay around the house, but I can tell by the way I feel, it is time to go home soon and do nothing for a few days. I have this feeling of physical tired, like I worked hard the day before. I also am falling asleep very quickly which is unusual for me, as it usually takes me a while to fall asleep. It sure has been a fun trip, I am glad I was able to take it.

The sights and the views have been better than ever before when I have gone up north, and of course best of all was seeing family I have not seen is a few years. It is kind of funny, I find myself not saying much, but rather just enjoying the interaction between them. I suppose that is my family link. We change as we get older, but I think we act almost the same way all our lives.

There was one funny, or so I thought incident in Kansas. I pulled on to what I thought was a side road to look at some baskets being sold by some Amish women. The road was next to a gas station, but I did not think it was being used as the entrance and exit did not directly lead to the road. I stopped more or less in the middle of the road, leaving about twenty feet on each side of the truck.

As such things go, along come a guy in an SUV, who is right in the middle of the road, stops and starts honking his horn. I look over and he signals me he wants me to move my truck out of his way. I make sweeping motions suggesting he can go around either side of me as there is plenty of room. He gestures again, and so do I. He makes some rather rude and obvious gestures towards me and I ignore him. He backs up five feet, and drives around giving me some dirty looks, as if I care. About two minutes later a semi pulls out on the road and I move the truck, I have a lot of respect for those drivers, plus I realized I was on their road to the gas station.

I had some good meals along the way, and the people were very nice with only two exceptions. If there were not a few behavior exceptions, I would wonder if I were in another reality, and out of this one. One thing that always catches my attention in the corn belt is contrast in what appears on the bathroom walls in the men’s room.

I never understood how there can be ‘Jesus saves’ scrawled on the wall in the first place, in a bathroom. What really adds contrast though is the hate slogans, usually either Nazi slogans, or other hate talk. What makes it so interesting to me is publicly the sides of the roads are filled with church signs and repent and be saved signs. yet on the bathroom walls and other places in the mens room’s are less savory thoughts and ideas being written down. I always wonder if it is repressed being given an outlet, or the true nature of a small minority of people in rural areas who feel threatened by something they can not quite define? Perhaps there is more repenting and saving going on in the corn belt than is obvious driving through, although I doubt it is different per capita than anywhere else I have been.

I have been to a a few places to eat and one mall here in the Dallas area, plus a drive around tour. It is surprising to me how neat and clean the city and streets are. It is obvious that most of the people here take a lot of pride in where they live and it is reflected in how clean everything is. I think there is a lesson here for all of us. All it takes is a second to bend down and pick up a piece of trash from the ground, and a few more seconds to throw it away.

I have a poetry book I bought when I was a teenager. In it is a collection of life stage poems by a man, Rod McKuen. It is filled with simple poems about life and how we view life as we pass through the years. I am always amazed when I am looking through my very old things, and I come across this book and read a poem or two and reflect where I am now in relation to the poems.

What I am thinking about tonight however is an age old problem we all face, our impending death. I was thinking about death the other day, as I listened to a mother with four children yelling, and telling her children how bad and stupid they are. I was thinking…what would she prefer to tell them if she knew that shortly after she loaded everyone into the car and left the parking lot a fatal accident would occur where either all four children, or herself would be killed in an accident.

Would she be saying the things she was yelling at them, or would she be saying something else to them? Occasionally, I am at a loss with people especially the yelling woman as to what they would do or say differently, if anything knowing it may be last thing they ever uttered. In some cases people are so beaten down that they would not find anything good to say to their loved ones as their parting words. Others of course are so beat up that they would want to get in one last cutting remark as their parting shot to ensure that those left behind would know for the rest of their lives how that person felt about them.

Recently I learned about a person I know who’s Mother has become suddenly terminally ill with possibly only days left of her life. The family is with her at the hospital, or as many that can be there are at the hospital. Another person I know who is not family went there today to be with the family. I suppose that is a good thing they feel that way, but I do not know who I would want around in that situation who is not immediate family.

Suddenly the time they will have with their Mother is so restricted, between the things the doctors and nurses have to do to the dying person, the times of going in and out of coma states, and the other things that go on, it seems somehow selfish to me to want to be there to take even a few seconds of family time to satisfy my own ego, or sooth my guilt, if I had any.

The way I see it though is no matter how or what we feel, it is only right to respect the needs of the family. For me, that means I would need to be asked to be there rather than just show up and try to part of the process. I think others who can actually contribute to the process somehow, feel the need to go and do whatever it is they feel they need to do.

As for the person dying, it is a one way trip with a spot for one passenger only, it is not a family event in that respect. I see it as being born but in reverse. When we were born we may have been aware of the process in another reality, but we sure are ignorant of it in this reality. Dying must be about the same way. We are cognizant of the process here, but we are completely oblivious of what is happening to us as our body dies.

No matter what my personal feelings are, they are only my feelings. I can only speak about what is true for me. I hope when the process is complete, that all those involved received whatever it is they needed from the process. Death is never pretty, yet being left behind is painful for those weep and mourn for their own pain. It is important to find a way to put into the correct perspective. Without knowing and being aware of our own pending death, we often neglect to live a proper life - such as the woman yelling at her children over nothing.

I missed the local news the other night. I usually watch it out of habit. Actually I listen to it while I do other things. It is nice to know what is going on in Albuquerque and New Mexico, as it is nice to be somewhat informed of what is going on in your part of the world.

I missed the local news due to a schedule change not my own, but it effects me. So when I turned on the television to watch the news it was not there. Once i realized what time it was, okay, not a problem, I changed channels to one of the 24 hour news channels. they were not doing news, so I changed to another one. Same thing, no breaking news, just a followup to something that had happened that day. Repeat performance for the last news stations I knew of.

I checked the channel guide, and as is more the norm than not, there was nothing showing I wanted to watch. I remembered while flipping through the channels there was a talk news show going on. I normally do not care for them, but as having never seen this one I thought I would give it a few minutes of my time.

I watched for about fifteen minutes as the host pumped out fear and rants about what is happening to this country! I was not aware of all he problems we are experiencing, I am so glad I tuned in. I found out that due to immigration, the Supreme Court overturning the California Gay marriage ban, and the way America has changed since the late sixties that the country is almost lost!

The host never really made it clear to whom we are losing the county to, that did not seem important to the line he was taking. We are losing America, and we need to get moving before it is too late and we become foreigners in our own neighborhoods. If the hosts word on these fears was not enough, a guest was brought on the show to prop up the rhetoric being spewed across the airwaves.

Unfortunately for the show, the guest disagreed or downplayed the host’s issues for other areas of concern that were on the guests mind at the moment. The guest did this in a way that while not outwardly promoting everything the host was creating fear over, but went on with personal insights supporting his views. It was clear that either the guest on the program was not screened before the show aired, or kept his agenda hidden until it was his turn to speak.

At any rate the joining in the crusade with the guest never happened and the conversation was ended leaving some open time which was not filled very well by the host. It reminded of a conservative radio talk show host who cuts off callers with opposite views and then rants on about their inability to grasp the issue.

As I mentioned twenty minutes was about all I could take. I must be a political backwater bumpkin because my life concerns are a little more concrete. I think our country being a democracy is reforged from time to time by the will of the people and not some short sighted fear monger who demands the majority to conform to their view of how things ought to be. Of course I did not even touch on the hosts religious views which he managed to get in while stirring the pot on how the country is going to the dogs. Gosh maybe instead of having what I feel are high level views, there is something fundamentally wrong with me and I should tune in again? Not….

I enjoy this site, it belongs to a guy named Matt Langdon, named the heroworkshop. Click on this link and spend the most thought provoking seven minutes of your week. I did not grow up in this generation, but the tactics and results are all the same. Great job Matt, I hope millions see and react to your post!

How many rebels do you know? Or perhaps a better question, are you a rebel? Are you possibly a rebel ho does not know they are a rebel? A rebel is an interesting person to know. They come in all shapes and textures. I can make an iron clad money back guaranty that you know at least one, as they seem to be everywhere there is dissension or friction.

They usually make their first appearance in your classroom around the age of twelve or thirteen. They were normal kids who suddenly quit doing their homework, or suddenly have problems with one or more teachers. They may not like authority figures at all and lump every adult in the school as being something other than a normal human being trying to make a difference in a kids life.

Perhaps you have identified a rebel in a family gathering where your folks, aunts and uncles came together to celebrate something. There is generally one in each generation who feels they are on the outside looking in, or they are the black sheep of the family. They are usually quiet and then for the silliest reasons make an issue out of something trivial trying to make a point.

Rebels are sometimes difficult people to understand. They see the world a little differently, or they want something that they have not yet found, usually attention or respect. There is an old movie starring an actor who died young, who was a famous name when I was a child. The movie was Rebel Without a Cause, and the actor was James Dean. James Dean was known for his restlessness and moodiness when he was not acting so that made him a natural in the parts he played.

If you ask people who’s workplace is ‘plagued’ by a rebel what they feel about that person, they generally relate only semi-coherent sentences about how all they do is cause problems and make work life miserable. If you ask the boss of a rebel how they feel about that person, what you will probably hear is not too different. One rebel in a workplace can single handedly take the place of a handful of problematic employees from a bosses point of view.

Yet all is not really as bad as it sounds. The world in general, and every place of work needs rebels to thrive. Rebels serve a noble purpose in the world, and we would not be as happy as we are today if it were not for all the rebels in history who preceded us. Rebels for their part provide a very valuable service to the world in general and the workplace, perhaps even family groups.

Everything we see bad in a rebel personality is an asset to the big picture. In the workplace for example, without a rebel working there, innovation and advancement of methodology and technology would crawl forward if it were not for the rebel. Rebel’s rebel at the way they are taught their job, and find ways to do it differently because that is their nature. Sometimes those changes are nothing but a different way to do the same thing, and sometimes those changes reshape the way work is done.

Rebels advance our thinking by challenging the status quo. If it were not for rebels rebelling throughout the ages, who knows what sort of governments would be in place today. It may be a stretch to say that democracy would not exist, but it is also quite possible that we would be living in a feudal world where nothing has changed in centuries.

Even if you despise people who are rebels in your life because it seems they have to make an issue out of everything, remember we do not enjoy change, and given a choice we would not participate or support any change, but Rebel’s using their need to buck the system, force us down different paths, mostly as unwilling participants but we are forced to change all the same. If you know a rebel, give him or her a break today. Buy them lunch or dinner, that short time with them in a social setting may be well change your perception of the world and your place in it!