Tag Archives: active listening

Active listening and active thinking – final

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Everything in life from the mattress we sleep on, to the shoes we wear is a result of manipulation. Music and dance have a huge impact on what we think.We would like to think we are above being influenced, and our ego tells each of us we are our own person and unique, but when it comes to the influence peddlers it is not always true.

It is important for you to carefully examine what you think and why. Your individual identity and the choices you make in your life should be your thoughts and not external manipulation. The point is not to become a rebel learning new ideas for the first time, but to be aware of meanings behind everyday interaction.

If it were not true and we were above being influenced, and having our opinions changed, we could go anywhere in the world, and live like the locals. The fact is we can not. Travel shows filmed in exotic locations, partake in obscure foods, and television in the genre of F. Factor prove this is not possible for us.

In your own life, where are your Doc Marten boots? What was your favorite cereal as a young child, what is it now? What music did you used to listen to? How has your world view changed?

I covered a lot more than I thought I would, and yet I barely scratched the surface of active listening and active thinking. There are many resources on the web if you want to learn more. The local library and book stores also have wealth of information that may be of value to you.

Many of these changes are external to us, but we internalize them. Think about the hair style of any adult woman in your family who is over thirty? When is the last time they changed their hair style? How many variations have you gone through over the last five years alone?

Being influenced and influencing others is a part of our nature. Knowing you are being influenced is important in keeping your life going in a direction you choose.

Other posts of possible interest to you are:

Thinking and making good decisions, pass it on!

Belief and a child’s thinking turned adult

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Active listening and active thinking – 3

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Advertising plays a very large role in forming and changing your opinions. Advertising is stealthier and goes about changing your thoughts in more subtle ways than than friends and family may. Advertising works in ways you may not be aware of.

Subtle printed advertising is occasionally based on images of sex or death when it is not blatantly using sex to sell a product. Images for underwear ads are too obvious; this more subtle advertising uses hidden images in ads. With a creative mind and a program capable of crafting and modifying a picture, it is not difficult to create hidden pictures within a picture that only your mind is aware of.

One of the burger chains going back to the eighties has been linked to subliminal advertising. In the 80′s they ran a magazine ad of nice juicy hamburger. Of course the hamburger did not look like one you would actually buy, this hamburger was displayed open faced so you could appreciate the juicy meat, the crisp lettuce, fresh tomato and the crunchy onion on top.

Unfortunately crunchy was not all the onion had going for it. If you took the magazine ad to a copy machine and copied it in black and white you would find a different sort of hamburger on your plate. On this hamburger the onion slices were arranged to spell the word SEX. Very creative of the advertiser to have such a dual purpose ad campaign.

The ad appealed both to your visual senses by being a very appealing hamburger. The hamburger also appealed to your other senses by sending out a message that you would not see because you expect to see a hamburger, not onions spelling out the word SEX.

Liquor advertising is famous for its imagery, and I bet you have never noticed? The ads are so sublime, usually showing a well to do man or women in fine clothes with a bottle of something around them having a nice conversation or a quiet moment.

Or it may be a scene with a nice glass of warm looking liquor with a few ice cubes and water droplets beaded on the glass. It looks so warm and inviting it almost sells itself. Almost is the key thought when it comes to selling liquor.

Liquor advertisers found that through creative airbrushing and image manipulation that air brushing a shark head or body enhances sales. Also you can find hazy variations of monsters, or other images that scare most people. There is something about monsters and death that makes liquor sell.

A new form of advertising has crept its way into our lives. This is advertising done by teens and young adults who get discounts or other perks for hyping products. Do you recall someone playing with and talking about how great their newest cell phone is? Or how much better their new mp3 player is? Or how about those cool new tennis shoes, or pants?

At the movies, and in the sitcoms products are displayed or used so you can observe them without really taking notice of them. Bigger offenders these days may be where you work. Large and not so large companies give their employees bags, key chains or other items that end up in the hands of family or friends?

When out and about, or traveling, almost any place you stop at has you lined up in their sights as a potential walking billboard. Every hear the phrase, “Been there, done that, got the T-shirt? It is truer than you thought, and you are paying for the privilege of being a walking billboard.

How about getting a little something to eat and drink, and a free t-shirt? Sound good? LOL!

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Active listening and active thinking – 2

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I hope it is clear why active listening and active thinking are important for you. Wandering around not actively listening and not actively thinking about what you hear or say is not the best way to manage your life. At best you are are not in control of your life, and at worst you are inclined to believe something that probably is not correct and could cause you problems.

People who gossip are people in our lives who want to influence what and how we think. They are always at the ready to tell us some story about someone, who usually is not their best friend. Because they are around us every day, we do not see how easily they may influence us.

A gossiper will show up with an exciting story about someone you know. The first question in your mind as part of active listening and active thinking should be: is this really important?

Is whatever the gossiper is talking about really important? Most gossip is an attempt to change your opinion about something or someone. Most people who gossip hold firm opinions about whomever they are gossiping about. They want you to think like they do.

As an active thinker and listener, ask yourself if what they are saying rational or logical. By taking this first step you are setting up the process of possibly discounting what you are hearing. What you are being told may be true, or it may be a tall tale in disguise.

Just like political ads, a gossip may not be telling you the real story. As an active listener and active thinker, it is easier to see if the story is being told to support the gossiper’s opinion of the person. Because you are actively partaking in the exchange, ask relevant questions about what you are hearing to determine if what you hear is worth your time.

Using active listening and active thinking, you are not as likely to say something you don’t want repeated. If you do not give any information to a gossip, they will start looking for someone else to gossip to and about. If the gossip is your friend, eventually they will drift out of your life.

Your life will change because if a gossip is talking to you about someone else, they will be talking to someone else about you. This makes room for someone in your life who is more in tune to you, and not just looking for a story.

Here are two quick ideas you can ask yourself when in a conversation that will help you become better at active listening and active thinking.

Is what you are hearing reasonable? If what you are hearing sounds far fetched, it probably is slanted in the telling, or not true at all.

Could what you are hearing have happened as told? Hearing that someone became ill after a meal is more likely than the same person ingesting a tape worm. Not everything you hear is that defined. Using active listening and active thinking, you will better judge what is plausible against what is not.

While you may feel gossip is harmless, it is not true. Someone who gossips with gumption has to keep the gossip wheels greased. If you forget and say something you do not want out in public, and the gossip thinks it is not colorful enough, you can be assured they will add content to make the story better.

Staying an active listener and active thinker is important unless you wish to spend your life parroting what others want you to think. When you listen, listen with an active mind. Question possible reasons about what you are being told. Ask yourself if what you are hearing is reasonable. Think about possible versions that are different than what you are hearing. Think about the source of the story. If the source something ‘they’ said? Just because it sounds true, does not mean you should believe it.

Part one here

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