Tag Archives: choice

Synchronicity, and giving back to my neighborhood

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It was another trash collecting day at the park. Only this time the world or at least the park portion of it conspired; although I am not sure it was a conspiracy with negative connotations as the definition suggests. The weather is a little drizzly, so I did not want to spend any time outside getting wet. I did not want to pick up soggy trash either.

I decided that at 2 o’clock if it was still drizzling, I would stay indoors and do something worthwhile inside. Just before the appointed time the drizzle stopped, synchronicity in action. Okay, I get to go spend a quiet hour outside, but no trash today, it’s too wet and muddy.

As I am walking around the path I noticed trash on the ground was worse than usual. Too bad, I thought to myself feeling smug, I did not bring a bag. As conspiracies go there was not one bag, but three bags laying along the path. Ranging in size of a small grocery bag, to a big forty gallon trash bag I felt a little trapped by the park. I ignored the first bag, also the second bag, but the third bag was too much. I resigned myself to picking up some soggy trash today, synchronicity in action.

There was also a junior high school class out for PE about the same time using the park. I imagine that at least a few of the kids are guilty of dropping candy wrappers, and other assorted things they suddenly did not want while walking home. They and their teachers had a first hand view of someone picking up trash who was not part of the city bed and breakfast program. I thought this was a good learning experience for them, to see little elves do not come out early in the morning and clean up their trash for them.

One thought I had while walking and picking  put everything in perspective. In accelerated learning it is not important that the learner be actively engaged for the lesson to have an impact on them. They only have to be present and quiet when the lesson is given. Studies have found that in this state of mind we are at our most receptive even though from an observational view it looks as if we have checked out.

So these kids, and their teachers were being shown a small lesson in civic responsibility. Nothing as dramatic as the motivational movie, Pass It On as the scale is much smaller, but the idea applies all the same.

That led me to me wondering about other areas of our civic life, and our programming here in the United States. Somehow we have developed into a nation who think there are people who wander around behind us straightening up the mess we leave behind.

We throw our trash out the window of our cars because we are done eating whatever it was covering. Some of us can even find reasons to justify our actions. Along city streets where trash is prevalent, we walk past it knowing it is not our job to pick any of the trash up. Yet if you are anything like me, you are the first to complain about how unsightly an area looks, ironic as that sounds.

Rather than rambling on farther today, I thought I would end with what I thought is an interesting link. Between the blog entry and comments there is some food for thought about civic and personal responsibility. Here is a blog entry from the founding developer of WordPress software on which my blog runs, and some replies. Hopefully you will find Mathew Mullenweg’s thoughts, and the replies interesting too. Someday civic responsibility may be a non-issue, but for now, your neighborhood needs your help.

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Risk verses belief, providing and refusing help

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This is an old story I enjoy telling. This story could be classified as an allegory I suppose. For many of us the story fits our lives more often than it misses. Risk taking is not something we humans are programmed for. Either is examining our beliefs. This story is about risk taking, belief. Sometime we have to be aware enough to know it is time to take the hand that is offered us.

There was small town somewhere below one of the great dams, levees, or next to a river. One day it started to rain, the dam was giving way, or the levee was overran. The town started to flood.

The first emergency response was the town sheriff who drove around the town, announcing on his loud speaker that the town was going to flood soon, and everyone needed to pack up and move to somewhere out of the flood zone. There was a man living in one of the houses, who was reading his paper at the time, and when he heard the PA announcement to evacuate, he thought to himself, “The Lord will provide.”

Of course the water came into the town, and soon was at the door of the man’s house. The National Guard had been called out by this time to both help the folks evacuate, and to protect the town. When a truck drove up to help the man gather his important belongings and leave his home, the man refused saying, “The Lord will provide.”

Shortly thereafter the water was in the house. The water was muddy, knee deep and rising quickly. The man took refuge in his belief, and moved his most important belongings to an upstairs room. He said to himself as muddy water filled the ground level rooms, “The Lord will provide.”

At this time a federal government agency arrived in town to help. A few men in a boat thought they saw movement in an upstairs window of a house. It was the man moving his now meager possessions to the roof. They motored over to the house and told the man they were there to take him to safety. The man refused, steadfast in his belief saying simply, “The Lord will provide.”

As the man sat on his roof the water was rising higher and moving faster. The man could feel the pull of the water on the frame of his house. It was starting to groan slightly from the pressure of the water. A helicopter news team was in the area, filming the flood, and spotted the man on the roof. They could not understand how the man was missed by the previous rescue teams. They stopped filming, and flew over the house were the man sat on the roof. One of the men holding on with one hand, hung out the door of the helicopter and reached out with his other hand to the man to take hold of. The man sat where he was and waved off the helicopter. He said to them and himself, “The Lord will provide.”

The house started to groan loudly and twist. The opposite corner was torn away from the house and floated away in the torrent. As the man watched in horror as his house was breaking apart, a tree which had been uprooted, hit the house and stilled for a few minutes before floating away with the current. With a mighty groan, the house shuddered one last time and broke apart. The man was thrown into the muddy flotsam filled water and drowned.

Suddenly he was standing before the throne of God, awestruck in what he saw before him. God looked down and asked the man why he was there? The man was not sure, but then realized he had drowned, and he became angry with God for letting him drown when his belief was so strong that nothing could shake it.

God looked at the man standing there and asked the man this question. “I sent the sheriff to your house, I sent the National Guard, I led two men in a boat to you. I made sure men in a helicopter saw you, and tried to rescue you. I sent you a tree to hang on to as your house was swept away so you would survive the flooding. What else did you expect me to provide?”

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Female heroes discovered!

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I had some interesting musings collide together which I think are worth writing about. Together they make for an interesting landscape, and a platform to promote a couple of Female Heroes right in the family! The other day I was thinking about female heroes, Matt Langdon’s Hero Workshop, and chats I had with with some family members.

Matt at HeroWorkshop reminds me that a hero is not some mythical being, but heroes live and breathe sitting or standing right next to me. Too often we just do not see them for what they are. Unfortunately, many of us have been programmed to replace true heroes with movie stars, gangsters, or band members.

I was talking with a family member who is trying hard to make positive changes in people’s lives by giving of herself, and her time. She meets and speaks with people who are lost and deserted due to personal circumstance. She is in there doing what she can, showing them there can be a better future if they choose it. This is a noble undertaking. This is awesome stuff. What a great thing to do to, and a great way to help others!

A second family member is a Case Manager for a very specialized group of people. She works in their life removing obstacles for them, and helping with problems they can not manage on their own. I am sure most of the people she helps appreciate what she does for them.

To some people, her career, or life choice may sound pretty ho-hum. And my writing about it just some yada, yada, as I fill in another paragraph. From my viewpoint, she has become a true hero! When I think of all the people she must have helped over the years…wow! I sure am proud of her, and now very mindful of what she is doing for others, making their life a little better, and helping their life go forward, which sometimes is no easy task!

I am as lazy as many others in the hero department. I throw a few bucks into the Salvation Army bucket at Christmas, and slip a few dollars to a homeless person now and then. I also donate some of my income to a few formal organizations. But as far as using myself as a tool to directly help make the lives of others better? I would do a better job herding cats across the prairie.

Everyone who chooses to take on a role of service to others is someone to be admired. Anyone can look good, or say something witty in front of a camera for a few seconds. For a few hundred dollars we can all look a little like the rich and famous for a few hours. I say a real hero in comparison is someone who climbs out of bed everyday, go to a job, or calling that not many people could do at all, let alone be any good at, and does what they can to make lives of others better.

At the end of the day these modern day female heroes know they are making a real difference in the lives of people who really need their help. Too many of us coming into direct contact with someone who really could use our help, we normally look away and pretend we do not see them. What these woman do almost every day serves to remind me, how big of a difference one person makes when they choose to. I sure am proud of these two women, and what they are doing! I hope others are too, and they let them know about it also.

I hope when you think about someone you know who chooses to serve others, you think about how they make important changes in people’s lives. What they do is not a dream job, and is probably heartbreaking and thankless at times. Yet they still get out of bed and do it the next day. Maybe you are one of these folks? If you are doing a service for others, be very proud, for you are a hero too!

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Grateful for family, friends, and you too!

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Today is my Sunday. Some special things have happened since last week. First was getting together with family for Thanksgiving. It is always fun when the family is together in one place. Old stories are told because they are always funny and everyone laughs. New stories are told, and laughed over. We take time to see how individual families are doing, how the kids have grown up, who the the grandkids look like, and ourselves. We sit down and play games, and I get to watch the interaction as family members change back to the time when they were all kids playing Monopoly on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Once home, I found an email waiting for me from a family member I haven’t spoken with in a long while. It sure was a surprise and a special treat for me on the end of Thanksgiving weekend! The world is so spread out and vast in some  ways these days. We move, move again, and we lose touch with each other as we mold our lives, and our future. One day turns into a week, then it’s a year, and before we realize it, a long time has gone by. Perhaps that is one of the things that makes this time of year so special. We think about friends and family we have not seen or spoken with in a long time. We have those special memories from times long past, when our world was another shade of perfect.

Back at work, some of my friends asked how my blog was doing, and some probing questions around it, audience being one them. I talked about the subjects I find I enjoy writing about.  They offered some tongue in cheek suggestions for increasing readership. Among their suggestions is becoming more political and move out towards the edge, any edge, or both edges where people have strong feelings. They offered up many suggestions which include:

Pro Bush

Pro Clinton

Take an anti green stand

Global warming is a lie

Global warming is going to end our world

Support abortion

Support pro choice

Animal rights – either side

Support baby Seal hunting

Cheer for the whale hunt

Support fur clothing

Motivate people to support burning more coal for energy

Reducing emission controls

Gun control – either side

Pro War, anti War, more war

Suggest we all send money to the helicopter wolf hunt in Alaska

Cheer for China’s use of the U.S. and perhaps World market as a dumping ground for its use of lead and other contaminates in their exports, in a covert effort to dominate the world by poisoning our children with deadly toys

Support RAP and Gang Banging as the American way of life

The list went on of course, the more we talked about it. While I am grateful for their suggestions, and I have no doubt people would get worked up no matter what stance I took on any of those topics, it just is not somewhere I want to be. It took me years to understand that people have their opinions. They usually do not change their opinions for less than very compelling reasons. So if I went down any of those paths as blogging topics, I be forced to move from a place where I feel comfortable to an area where argument and controversy reign. I do not care to be the blogging version of a radio Shock Jock.

While my friends are being supportive of my efforts and want me to quickly move up the ranks in blogger-hood, I will stick topics that I feel are worth my time. I want to come home from work, and write about what I enjoy, and feel is important. I do not want a blog about  something that I may not only not enjoy, but find it gets in the way of my enjoyment of life.

This brings me to the final piece of what I am grateful for this week. I am grateful you take the time to read what I write. I hope you continue to find it worth your attention and more importantly your time. Further I hope somewhere along the line, you read something that helps you or someone you know. Thanks for reading!

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Trust or not to trust, your mind knows the answer

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Many people thought George was anal retentive, he obviously missed something important in his early childhood. I knew George was not anal retentive, just overly paranoid. No matter who spoke with George, and no matter what the conversation was about, George was always on the lookout for the hook in the conversation. He was sure at any moment someone was going to try to take advantage of him.

My friends and some family members used to tell me I was overly trusting. I should not trust everyone as someone was going to take advantage of me and I would be sorry. I never believed that and usually always take people at face value unless I have good reason not to. Even people I used to hang around with who had bad reputations I trusted.

While I can not say for certain that trusting almost everyone is better than trusting almost no one, it certainly does seem as if it was easier to manage on a day to day basis. I do not have to burn up brain cells wondering where a conversation is going or what someone wants from me. I also do not waste a lot of time wondering if someone is going to take advantage of me. Maybe because I would be such an easy mark, and people know I trust them, very few people ever try.

I find the same general thinking to be true about other traits in people. Whether it is a matter of trust, completing a task, or keeping their word, most people always do what they say they will do. Maybe I have been just lucky, and my luck will run out soon, but I find most people will live up to whatever expectation I have of them.

Take children for example as they are the simplest to watch. Whatever perception a child thinks an adult has of them, that is how the child will act around that adult. As a child have you ever done little around your own home only to work very hard for a neighbor or relative? Or perhaps you have heard someone talk about some else that has? The relative or neighbor has a completely different expectation of you than your family does. So you meet both expectations depending on where you are at the moment.

We also have our own expectations of ourselves. We do not usually pay attention to them, and they slip out when we are preoccupied. Have you ever said to yourself something along the lines of, “way to go dummy”? Or another derogatory line slipped out of your mouth when something happened or went wrong that you were doing?

These are the most important expectations, and the expectations that need the most watching. Deep inside our minds we believe these one liners we say to ourselves. Because we believe these one liners, and we do not think about them, they come out when something happens that we did not intend to happen. What we are doing at times like this is living up to our own expectation of us.

Fortunately, if we catch ourselves saying these things to ourselves, now we have the power to recognize them for what they are – negative expectations. When they start to slip out, stop them before you finish it, and give yourself permission to say something good about yourself in their place. When you do that you brain will replace the bad thoughts with good thoughts and start believing the good things about you.

Back to trusting others, over the years it has been win most of the time, and lose a few. Of all the people I have trusted implicitly only a few have ever violated that trust. I wonder over the years what George’s tally sheet would show? The difference is being cheated, or lied to is an affirmation for George, and it is a disappointment for me when someone breaks the trust I place in them. Start placing more trust in yourself and see what happens in your life!

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Ziggy’s choice

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Ziggy and I worked together in a large hotel restaurant. He was a few years older than I was, but he was much younger than the other two people we worked with, so that made us friends by default. Ziggy was a newlywed being married less than two years. I was a newlywed also, so that gave us something in common. We also had baby girls, although his baby was a few months younger than mine. Ziggy lived for his little girl, and she was his world, even his wife took second seat to his daughter.

We worked and laughed and got the job done the best we could each day. Some days were fun and some days were work, but between all of us we did our best, and our customers were happy. One of the best parts of the job for me was the lunch time menu. There was always a lunch special. When I was not the grill cook for the day, I could decide and make whatever the special was for that day. We would try to be be creative, and make enough to feed between thirty and forty people which seemed to be the most lunch specials we would sell in a day.

Ziggy started having headaches that would not go away. Then he started losing his balance at times. It became serious, so he went to the doctor to see what was wrong, and how it could be made better. A week went by while Ziggy waited for his tests to come back. I was starting to notice that he was not doing so well. He would forget what he was doing or have to sit down because he was too dizzy to stand.

The doctors said Ziggy had a brain tumor. It was deep inside his brain and it was growing fast. The doctors said if they operated, Ziggy had less than a five percent chance of waking up. There was radiation, although it would not cure Ziggy. At best it would slow down the growth of the tumor and hopefully extend his life a few more months.

To Ziggy, extending his life a few months meant a few more months with his new wife and daughter. He never gave it a second thought, but started the treatment as soon as he could. The first week or so Ziggy was sick, but he managed to come to work. He was not as fast on his feet as he had been. We all helped by working harder, and we finished the work as a group. By the third week Ziggy was not able to work at all.

Ziggy made it about seven months before the cancer took him. In his last lucid days, he said that if he could do it over, he [Ziggy] would have skipped the radiation, and settled for a few good months with his wife and daughter, instead of several months of being too ill to enjoy his wife and baby girl. I thought it was very sad as they lay Ziggy to rest, his last thoughts were he was cheated out of some quality time with his family.

As time marched on, other family members, and friends died of this or that. It is always a sad state watching someone die slowly of something terminal. The only advantage of a slow death, is there is plenty of time to speak with everyone you wish to speak with. You have the privilege of letting them know whatever you may wish to tell them. There is also time to get yourself in order. Taking care of your affairs as much as you can and giving those things you can to friends and family. I learned a lot from Ziggy’s illness and death, as Ziggy died well, if someone’s death is thought to be possibly called dying well.

I do not really know how Ziggy lived his life before his cancer, but I know how he did afterwards. He took every word, gesture, and thought seriously, because the time he spent with someone may have been his last. He became someone who did not play relationship games with others. He had many paths to follow, but he took the high road in his final days. I realized just a few years ago that Ziggy taught me that there are better ways to live than most of us choose to follow. It is just to bad Ziggy had to leave this world to teach me this.

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