Tag Archives: Choices

Addiction Of New Addictions

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When we have identified a flaw in ourselves, and believe it is serious enough to fix, we tend to place our focus in changing what is wrong with us. Running the gamut of addictions, from food, drugs, sex, religion, or personal growth, we blindly jump on the band wagon consumed with the idea of life changes we are going to make.

We really believe that we can stop in mid-stride, change our whole self into some envisioned epiphany. In my experience it rarely if ever happens as we dream it.

Substituting addictions is a big reason we become swept away in an idea only to find ourselves drained and disappointed later. Pretending to be Neophytes to addiction one can not understand why others are not as excited or determined as they are. In their enthusiasm, they do not understand they are not the first nor the last to suddenly want to change for anyone except themselves.

wastelandThe addict is soon crushed by physical cravings and feelings of separation brought about by their previous life choices. it is hard to think of the coming disconnect in a moment of clarity shortly after receiving that last fix. Perception of what is compared to an idea do not meld together well. For example a heavy tobacco user right after a cigarette finds it easy to envision how easy it will be to quit.

Ideas powerful, finding religion, a better way to live, discovering a purpose to ones life that never before existed is one of the most powerful chemical free experiences we as humans will ever have. Roads, byways, and families are littered with shells of people who failed to conquer their new fervor.

The addict after suffering the pain of withdrawal, or the new convert instead of finding bliss and peace, find pain, loneliness and emptiness, and despair, slinking back into the previous lifestyle. The focus occasionally shifts initially from the process, to the idea of the process, and then collapses upon itself. The addict and convert all too often are the carnage on the road of life adding feelings of defeat and worthlessness to their list of life problems.

There are two major processes working against success. The largest block to success is the years or decades one spent getting to this moment in ones life. We can not live a life of any type for any length of time and walk away from it in a moment of revelation without weighty repercussions to follow shortly.

The second major block to success is in the change itself. Because one suddenly chooses to embrace change does not mean change is ready to embrace them. No matter how hard one tries to change, nothing has initially changed except the desire to change.

It is impossible for anyone to make an immediate and permanent change to ones life without the intervention of something powerful and life changing outside of what is normal life. One of the best examples is the life of Stanley Tookie Williams.

Stanley Williams’ life was one one of polar change. Unfortunately, even Stanley Williams in his dramatic life changes, could not or would not let go of portions of his previous life outside of prison. Yet every moment of every day, someone decides they are going to change and leave everything of their previous life behind and believes they are now walking down a flower lined path.

Change happens in small difficult to measure steps. Anything faster is not change but a series of coincidences strung together appearing as change. At some point along the series of coincidences, change stops, and one is forced to contemplate nothing big has changed other than minor external events.

Instant change is a harmful illusion promised in infomercials. Real life is a series of challenges. Every one of us faces a lifetime of challenge. When the fervor of instant change seeps into your mind, and you start to be swept away by possibilities, remember the idiom, “Rome was not built in day”. Real change is a slow process measured in little victories over a long period. Anything else is a false promise leading to self blame and pointless recrimination.

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Free Occult Knowledge, Choose Carefully

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Having an interest in wanting to know about dimensions and realities most people never think about, my having contact with other entities is not unusual. Most experiences are rather mundane, and some make my pulse beat faster. While I would like to attribute it to imagination, undiagnosed emotional illness, or other unexplained melody, I know I it is not so. A lifetime of odd happenings is too much to dismiss.

Such is this the basis of this post. I am happily thinking of nothing really when something shows up. To some people it may have been called a demon. To me that is like calling everyone on the other side of the equator southerners, while those of us on my side of the equator are northerners. It is just too broad of a brush stroke to define everything so generally. There are people who choose to live a fear based life, and almost everything is evil to them, I choose to approach this differently.

What it was I am not sure. It wanted to give me the psychic equivalent of an e-book. Offering me information that some people spend their life looking for and never finding. In this interaction – rather than conversation, because I find it hard to converse things that give me primal feelings of loathing and dislike, this creature told me it is hungry and was offering me with something of value to myself, and to itself.

offeredAt first when I realized what I was hearing, I thought it was some kind of odd joke. As I thought about it, I realized that children’s books, lore, and late night conversation, along with some angered conversation, have many instances of what was being offered. Enough instances in fact I can not say it was not a joke. What would you do with a manual on, “How to Turn Someone Into a Toad”?

Kind of funny at first thought. Not a literal physical change into a toad, more of a psychic or spiritual changing. The images I saw were of it feeding off an unfortunate ‘human toad’ were not appealing. I became repulsed at what I saw. It was not a tearing and rendering of flesh feeding, but a spiritual draining, knowing that no matter what the victim does, this feeding does not stop for long. Somehow this creature gets what it needs to sustain its life from our human spiritual side.

This is where occult, or hidden knowledge is learned. There is no book or other access to it. Unless someone, or in this case something offers to teach you, you would never find it. In this particular case it had already been offered to me, unasked, and accepting the ‘gift’ was my choice. Sort of like Eve tasting the apple, or George Washington chopping down the cherry tree. Once taken, it can not be given back.

Most people in the world have experiences that can not be explained. Most people in the world think those other people who speak of their experiences have something wrong with them. It is interesting, believing what I experience is normal and real, but your unexplained experience is a result of a hidden flaw in your makeup.

We are conditioned over our lifetime to think that any experience unless it can be explained by our physical laws and rules, can not happen. We are conditioned to assume there are no dimensions or realities other than this dimension and reality. We are conditioned to think there is goodness and evil. In our conditioned minds, if we have not been told or taught it is good, it is evil by default. We are allowed no alternative explanation.

Psychic experience, arcane, occult knowledge, or overactive imagination, this type of thing has happened to most of us. Whether this really happened or not, the idea of intentionally damaging someone, is not in my character. Though reflecting on children’s stories and childhood lore, something like this has been happening for a long long time. Perhaps without our even being aware of it because we are conditioned to not notice.

Entities like this one exist. They are neither good or bad, light or darkness, even though we want them to be. If someone is approachable because they are in the correct mindset, or right frequency to hear, they approach and make an offer. What one does with what they offer is either good or evil. The choice of accepting a gift such as this is always ours to make. Choose carefully and with respect for the outcome, if or when an offer is made to you; when something slips up on you and offers you something before you are even aware of what is happening.

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Fishing Lore 101

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I am invoking my rule of three, this time for fishing. Maybe using the rule of three for fishing is a little broad, so I will narrow my rule of three to how the rule of three applies to the top three things you need to know to catch more fish.

When fishing for any species of fish with a rod and reel, and probably in commercial fishing too, it is important to know a few things about the fish you want to catch. Like we humans, fish have their likes and dislikes. There are endless species and subspecies of fish in the world. Most species of fish with the exception of being salt water or fresh water fish can tolerate a wide range of environments, the same as we humans. It may not be what we prefer, but we can tolerate vast extremes in our physical world.

Certain fish enjoy being in warm water filled with plant growth, other fish prefer rock. Some fish prefer flat shallow water, and other fish prefer a few feet of shallow water close to the shore line, and a sloping drop to deeper depths beyond that. Some fish prefer overhanging brush to hide under; other fish prefer low handing vegetation to hunt around.

It is the same with temperature and sunlight. Some fish thrive in cool to deep waters, and other fish need sunny shallow water. Most fish are adapted to daylight, and use the day time to forage for and capture food. Other fish of course have decided that the night time is the right time, and are dormant during the day, becoming active as the sun goes down.

fish-onFood sources are another determining factor when fishing. Knowing what food the fish you wish to catch prefers, is a determining factor in where you will do your fishing. Some very big fish are hooked and landed by young children, who don’t know that certain types of big fish hunt for food close to the waters edge in hopes of a small animal falling in the water. Other fish forage in the depths where the type of food they prefer lives.

How all this relates to my rule of three is simple. Once you decide what three things are most important to you in your own life, you know then determine how those effect the fish you want to catch. Fishing now becomes much simpler. The top four needs on most people’s lists are food, shelter, temperature, and lifestyle. Think of lifestyle as where you hang out, or what you like to do with your free time.

Of those four things if you learn enough about any three of them and how they apply to the fish you want to catch, you are on your way to becoming a respected fisherman. The general unaware fisherman walks up to a body of water, puts some bait on the end of their fishing line and casts as far to the middle of the lake, river, or pond as they can. Obviously they have not bothered to learn much about the fish they want to catch.

It may be where their bait lands is a underwater island, the water is two feet deep, and the fish they want to catch prefer deep water. Or it may be they are out trying to catch a species of fish that prefers being active opposite of when the fisherman is out fishing.

It may be they are fishing in water that is too warm, cold, turbulent, or still for the fish they want to catch. As the saying goes five percent of the fisherman catch ninety-five percent of the fish. I am guessing about five percent of the fisherman are the total amount who took some time to learn about the fish they want to catch.

Which type of fisherman do you want to be? Find out what three of the top four needs are for the fish you want to catch and use your knowledge to decide when and where you should be fishing using what type of bait.

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Your Life, Make it Into a Life You Want

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happy-21In times past when I was not angry or feeling sorry for myself, I would think about those people I sort of admired. I could never actually say I admired them because that would infer that they had something I did not. Of course those people I almost admired did have something at that point and time I did not; I just refused to let myself admit it.

It was not a flower lined garden path to get from where I was to where those people were and are. It was one heck of a hard trip actually. While I would not quite say it was up there with deciphering the Rosetta Stone, it was not too far from something as puzzling and exotic. Perhaps more like trying to read a book in Braille, without any idea of what the book is about or what language it is in.

What eventually happened to me was acceptance of myself, and the limitations I imposed on myself. My life was what it was because I made it that way – spending years to create my life such as it was. I could either accept that this was my life, and there is nothing more to life, or I could allow the possibility those people I almost admired were living their lives on a different level than I was.

I chose the second option. What makes change difficult is all the previous hours, months, or years we spend perfecting this exact moment in our lives. No matter what your age is, or what you have done in your life, you have spent your entire lifetime perfecting this exact moment.

It does not matter if you are reading this and are totally focused on the thoughts behind the words. You may be reading this to kill time; wondering if when you get to the end you will find something you can use in your life. Or you may be like I was knowing that your own life can be better, but not knowing what to do to make it happen.

What to do next is easier said than done. What you can do from this moment on is quit living in what your life is, and start living what you want your life to be. No matter what your past is, or current situation may be, let everything you do not want in your life go. Start living in this moment, and live in every moment from here onward and you will change your life into what you believe your life should be.

The alternative, if what you read sounds like baloney is to do nothing. Doing nothing is the surest way to keep yourself from any possibility of change from happening. This is the only moment when you will read this for the first time. When you finish reading, there will never again be a first time to read it. As in your life, you could copy and paste it into a text file and read it as often as you want. Of course your life won’t change, unless you go in and edit the file.

If your life is perfect right now, reading this is an affirmation of what you already know or learned. If what you have read makes you a little uncomfortable, or there is a voice in the background suggesting you wasted your time reading this, you may want to take it as a sit up and pay attention message?

You have all the control over your life that you need. If you are a reasonable person, and I imagine you are, you know every correct answer to all your life questions. You can stand toe to toe with anyone on this earth and discuss what is right for your life and be one-hundred percent correct – at this moment. All you have to do is acknowledge that there is a life you want to life out there and moment by moment, you are going to live your way to it.

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Handicaps, everyone has at least one

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Once upon a time a long time ago in bar far far away, there was a young fraternity guy out with his frat brothers having a glass of beer, or maybe two. A young woman arrived who the young man thought was very pretty. He watched her from across the room and over the top of his beer glass. She was out with friends, and there was no boyfriend around.

He worked up his courage and walked on over to speak with her and eventually asked her out. Of course she declined. Eventually they made a tentative agreement to meet in a few days. They talked for a few minutes when she asked him a stop in your tracks question. He never showed up for their meeting.

What she asked really took him by surprise, and after he thought it over, he knew it would stand between any type of healthy relationship that might evolve. She asked him if he realized she was crippled and sitting in a wheelchair?

That was me some years ago when I thought a cold glass of beer made the world a better place. The young woman was a paraplegic. I thought of that night while strolling along today. I had not thought about it for so long it was a surprise, I do not know why it popped into my thoughts today.

My father spent the last six years of his waking life in a wheel chair by that time. I was well used to a wheelchair and knew what it meant for the occupant. I was not asking her hand in marriage, I was asking if she would meet me again under different circumstances.
I did not see her as handicapped, she obviously did and wanted others too also.

I do not know if she wanted my pity, or she wanted me to feel guilty. We are all crippled, and we are all handicapped. Some of us hide it better than others, but we all have our flaws, problems, and personality faults. Whatever flaw(s) we have are just that, they are not a life stopper or we would not be here to start with. Pushing my father around for those six years, let me experience a physical handicap life by proxy, I understood that at least.

When you are out and about and see someone who is handicapped, there is no reason to feel anything about them you will not feel for other people you will see today. We are spiritual beings, and our bodies have little to do with us. Our bodies whatever condition they may be in are our default vehicle for getting around in this world.

Look for the person, not what is wrong with them. When you do this you will find a very unique someone hanging out in a body that may not quite function right. There is a bible verse that applies here. It says something to the effect that to those whom much is given, much is required…. For anyone with a physical handicap, parts of life are a little more challenging, but they have learned to adapt – as we should.

The world is full of people who martyr themselves and complain about their lot in life. Most of them have nothing more than a want of someone to make their wrongs right. For someone with a disability, their world is quite different. Some days are good and some days present challenges that are difficult to overcome. They do not have any options.

People with disabilities I have known tried to show me life can be good and complete be if I chose to make it that way. I was a slow learner of course, I always thought they were putting on an act because it was expected of them. I have since learned I was the one with the disability and not them.

What we think and believe, we are. No one else decides who or what we are, we do. None of us is complete, we all have something lacking in us. It is up to each of us to use what we do have to make our life everything it can be.

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Thieves make very poor choices

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As I sat on a portion of a couch with my Grandfather who was sitting in a Lazy Boy watching television on a black and white tv once told me… “Kid, if you are going to be a thief be a good one, if you steal a tv, steal a color tv, the penalty is all the same…” At least that is as near as my memory of that moment exists in my recall of being a child.

I worked as a deck hand for United States Steel many years ago at the ripe old age of eighteen. They paid me an incredible amount of money for what I did at the time, or so I thought. One day in Chicago I went to shore with another guy. He was farther up the ladder than I was and made a good thirty percent more than I did. As we wandered around a little slice of town where the cab dropped us off, he wanted to go into the dime stores. I thought that was a little odd, but we had nothing else to do with our time. We went into two of them and one small shoe store, and maybe a corner market. He never bought anything though, just wandered around and left. When we were back on the boat he started emptying his pockets of pencils, ten cent notebooks, erasers, and other small trinkets. He told me he could not help himself. He said he had been shoplifting like that for years. He said he stole small stuff, because it was the theft, not the item that satisfied his need.

I hung around and experienced the receiving end of other thieves through the years. I can say firmly, it has not been an uplifting experience. Nothing is ever stolen that hurt badly, but replacing things someone stole from you is at least an inconvenience. I imagine most of the stolen items were sold off at a small part of their worth. I hope whatever money the thieves were paid for the risk and their trouble made it worth it.

Recently I was at work, and sitting in an employee cubicle, where we take our breaks, and do a little surfing if we wish. We were given mugs a few weeks ago, and mine walked off, so I was using a replacement to enjoy a cup of tea with. Lately eating or drinking anything remotely warm makes my nose start running. I am not sure why, but it is annoying. I locked up the computer which really was not necessary because there were over a dozen idle computers already. But locking the computer, I left my cup, and notebook while I went in search of Kleenex.

I came back a few minutes later, and there was a contract employee sitting at my spot drinking the last of his soda. I stopped and looked at him. The light turned on and he said something to the effect that he was sitting in my spot and I was the one who locked the computer? I nodded yes. After a short pause he said, “and that is your mug?” Again I nodded yes. I thought that was an odd question…. He stood up saying, “I guess I let you have it then.” Again an odd phrase, but it was early, and I am a little slow sometimes.

I am a little slow, but it dawned on me after a few minutes what his intent had been, and why he was where he had no business being. In a round about way this brings me back to my Grandfather and his statement about stealing a color television. My mug can be purchased within five minutes of where I was sitting for less than a ten dollar bill. That is an important thought.

If that individual had been more daring or I had been a few seconds later, his intent would have cost him his job. I would have had no recourse but to turn him in as a thief to security on site, and report him to my boss. Of course it would have rolled up the chain and back down to his boss who would have to remove him from the site. I doubt his company would keep a thief on the payroll fwiw. He was essentially getting ready to put his livelihood, integrity, and future on the live for an object he could have bought with the money he probably earns eating his lunch on company time. Not the brightest light on the tree if I do say so.

Some people steal because they have to, and some because they want to. For the second group, all I can say is their decision making processes are very weak. Risking your job, home, family, and possible freedom for a trinket that could be bought for a few dollars is beyond stupid. As a little kid, I did not understand what my Grandfather was telling me. I thought then it was about the price difference. Over the years I have come to understand it is about so more, that the price has little to do with the act itself.

That person should be grateful I came along when I did. Rather I think, he is bitter he did not act in time and told himeself next time he will be quicker.

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