Tag Archives: decision

Let other people improve your decision making skills

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Occasionally I need to make an important decision. Some decisions are complex by default. I find balancing my character, and integrity, with my final decision is perplexing at times. What appears to be the right decision does not always feel good. I have a special group of people I discuss my decision with when this happens. People of questionable character and poor morals. A group of people made up of liars, conversation embellishers, and intention twisters, who always put their self interest first.

There are advantages to getting help from people like this for serious decisions. While liars and their ilk lack good character, and strong personal integrity, they offer something others may not. They see a problem differently than I do. They provide insights to a problem I would never consider.

Over our lifetime we are exposed to people holding unique ways of seeing the world. Some people display strong moral character, and others display something less than the best. What all people do is use a system that works for them based on their personal life experience.

Once I learned to rely both the best and the worst characteristics of character, and integrity, making sound decisions became easier. The great thing about using different types of people is being able to see more sides of a problem. This is very valuable when a decision has to be made and no obvious good choice exists. When no good choice exists, it becomes a matter of choosing a path of least harm.

When a difficult decision is needed first take the high road. Use every iota of character and integrity you have to arrive at your decision. Once you have done that, think about those people who you stay away from because of their lack of character, or integrity. What factors would be most important in their arriving at a decision? From what perspective would they view the problem? Would they see anything differing from your perspective of the problem? Would their solution be better than yours? Is there anything in their decision you can use to strengthen your decision?

Using this process may be difficult initially. This process is used in decision making every day by some of the worlds finest thinkers. There is no reason why it can not be adopted by you. When a politician, lawyer, or statesman is asked a general question, this process is used to arrive at an answer. It may not be the best answer, but it is a well thought out answer which will not make everyone happy, but will make the most people the least unhappy.

Where do I find this third group of people? I do not have a special group of friends that I only see on occasion. Over a lifetime we are exposed to all types of people, all with unique ways of making a decision. Some of them display the finest of moral character and others use thinking that is foreign to us at first. What these people all do is use a system that works for them based on their life experience and circumstance.

It may be easier for you to discuss your problem with complete strangers at first. This helps you understand why someone thinks the way they do. Your situation is safe with them because they are strangers. They have nothing to gain or lose from expressing their thinking for making a decision. After a time, you will understand their thinking process, and no longer need to discuss personal decisions with strangers. You will know different types of people think, and you can use their thinking processes for yourself.

You may notice your decisions may be different than they would have been before. The bonus is your decisions will be better than they were before you started using other peoples character, and integrity in your decision making. Do you need to make a decision, I know some people who can help you.

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Thinking and making good decisions, pass it on!

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One of the great things about life is the longer you get to live it, the better your knowledge base for making decisions. Having a larger collection of memories makes it simpler to understand why something happened, or why something may happen. When we are young, we do not have any memory base to share from so our decision making is not very good.

When I was a child, and I would be stopped from doing something, or punished after the fact, I would sit and cry, or feel sorry for myself. I was not able to look over a series of similar situations to mine, and see I was doing something wrong, or that could hurt me.

As a teenager, I started to realize there was a connection of sorts between past experience, and present, or future results. I could go to my friends and ask them about it too, which added to my decision making knowledge, although their knowledge was incomplete. So while my knowledge base was better as a teenager, it was not enough to be of real value because most experiences were still new to me.

It is really not until children come into our lives until we realize our system is not quite as perfect as we thought it was. We may notice some of our decisions are flawed. We act in the same manner we were treated at that age, without really thinking. We hear our parents sayings coming out of our mouth. Decisions are made like, “It was good enough in our Grandparents day, so it is good enough now”, or “Because I said so”. It is not until we are questioned that we start to realize that we have to temper our responses with some thought about how they were arrived there in the first place.

Children and telephones is a good example. When I was a child, being found touching, or playing with the telephone brought about swift, negative reinforcement. Children had no business touching a telephone. Each phone call cost money, and most parents did not waste money on their kids to play with telephones. Times change, and these days it is important for a child to know how to use any phone, perhaps to call an emergency number if they have to.

Having survived through our own children, we now are pretty much experts (if we take time to think) on making good life decisions. We have been through everything – growing up, dating, heartache, divorce, family death, family birth, and everything else that makes up our life. What we do not do so well however is pass on this knowledge to our children. I think it is rare for a child to be raised where a parent(s) has actually taken time to teach their children how a decision was arrived at and why.

If we did, most ‘why not, or why can’t I’ discussion would no longer [really] be about who is in charge. It would now be a discussion of is that a good decision – and why or why not. How nice it would be not to be forcing your children to obey, but rather having them go through a sound process for a decision. Talk about defusing an argument, and enjoying a healthier home life!

Most of us with children rarely get around to teaching our children how to think, and make good decisions. Possibly because we were never taught how ourselves. Or we think it is something school does. Thinking, and sound decision making is not that hard. We should not live almost half of our lives before we learn how to make good decisions instead of good guesses, nor should your children.

In the sciences everything we know from the past is written down and studied. It is dated, referenced, and commented on. We should be like this with our children. Taking the time to show our children how to make good decisions, and how to think. This would be would be a precious gift for any child. Think how much easier life could be for you, if you took the time to teach your children how to think, and make good decisions?

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Sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald

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The anniversary of the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald is almost here. The Edmund Fitzgerald sank on November 10, 1975, and her crew of twenty-nine went to their death in freezing water when the Fitzgerald went under during that stormy evening.

I have some guilt that comes out around this time of year because of three of the men that died working on the Fitzgerald. Their names are Bruce L. Hudson, Paul M. Riipa, and Mark A. Thomas, good men all.

I am not sure how I feel now knowing their names. I haven’t looked at their profiles, although I imagine I may some day. In 1975 I was living in California, when in mid summer I left and made my way to the lower Iron Range area of Minnesota. There was a family friend at the time who sailed on the Great Lakes for United States Steel Corp. He heard I needed a job, and made it possible for me to get my card so I could sail too.

I worked on the John Hulst in the fall of 1975. She was an old coal burner, one of the last of her kind to still ply the Great Lakes. The John Hulst would take on a load of Taconite pellets from around the Duluth area, and unload them in the Chicago, Gary, or similar area. It was hard work, and demanding as you spent little time anywhere other than steaming around from dock to dock. The thrill went a way about the beginning of October for me, but I stayed until the John Hulst docked for the winter.

The family friend who helped with my merchant marine card asked me if I was interested in winter sailing? Lake Superior freezes over in the brutal cold that drops down on her, but a few ore boats would continue to work for most if not all of the winter. It was dangerous work naturally, but the pay was increased and it was a lucrative offering. I asked if he would be sailing too, and he said yes he would. So I said sure, why not, I thought it would be more fun if there was someone on board I knew. My friend set it up and we had our report date to sail on the Edmund Fitzgerald as she made her transition from summer to winter sailing.

One night about five days before we were to report, my friend said he was not feeling that well, and he was not going to report for winter sailing. I replied, well if you are are not going, I am not going either, and it was settled just like that. I do not think I spent five seconds thinking about what I said. I knew I did not especially care for that life, so it did not take much to keep me off the boats in the winter weather.

The rest is history, except I remember this time of year, that a snap decision over a bottle of beer caused a man to die in my place. He may of been married, had a family, or wanted to earn money to buy a house, or any other number of wants that drive a man to do dangerous work. Of all the things a man should die for, I hope the man that took my place, had more noble reasons for winter sailing than I did for staying home.

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