Tag Archives: fear

Fear no more, there is no payoff

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Usually I enjoy talking to people. I talk to people in line at the grocery store. I talk to the people that check me out at the cash register. I talk to the people who are making my lunch if I can. I talk with the people out walking if I walk up to them, I like to share a few minutes with them chatting about the walk, and what else they do for exercise.

It is getting harder though. We are so wrapped up in fear of another human being, it amazes me sometimes how scared some people get from the idea of talking to a stranger! When I was a kid, it was Nakita Khrushchev, and the nuclear bomb or missile dropping on our home or school. They used to show him at commercial time during the family hours television. The commercial would be a upper body shot with Mr. Khrushchev telling me, he was going to bury us. It certainly caused me to have some worries, and I took the drills at school more serious when we went to the gym, or took cover under our desks.

I remember most of the grownups were worried too. Adults took the threat seriously too. I felt a little safer because we lived close to an Air Base, and they were tied into the early warning system of the time, and they had planes to help defend us. Some people had bomb shelters built on their property. Other people remodeled their root cellars to take on a more shelter like function. I could not imagine spending more than a day or two in one, but at the time they thought they may be in their shelter for weeks to months. I am not sure what they thought they would climb into when they left their shelter, but there were some definite concerns that it could happen.
 
Later the threat changed to communism in Vietnam. The older people were very concerned that the communists would be right in our town if we didn’t stop them in Vietnam like we did in Korea. More fear, but it was a distant fear of something we at home could not really quantify. We knew it was out there, but our individual lives had changed little.
 
Somewhere along the proceeding years, thanks in part to technology, our fear shifted once again. This is our biggest and vaguest fear. We have this now almost ingrained fear of anyone we do not know. We find it hard to talk to neighbors, and other people we interact with only occasionally. Once we get outside our group of friends, our world becomes a cold, hostile, dangerous place.
 
Our world has become filled with sexual deviants of a criminal nature. Many women walking by a strange man alone somewhere almost have panic attacks on the spot. Men and too a lesser extent women are extremely cautious even about dating because the person who has an interest in us is probably a stalker, or a psychopath waiting to enter our lives and wait for us to let our guard down. It is not uncommon these days for a paid search to be ran on a perspective date before committing to a cup of coffee at a local coffee house.
 
Now, on top of that we have the fear of terrorist activity happening in our town. I have heard people from a few very small town express fear that they feel too vulnerable. Too many people in general are scared to talk to strangers any more. If they aren’t a sexual deviant they may be a terrorist. If they are not a deviant, or a terrorist, they are probably looking for someone to stalk. Now Global warming has appeared on the horizon, if our current fears are not enough.
 
This individual isolationism needs to stop. We are growing a second generation of children who do not have the tool required to make their way in a world of face to face interaction and communication. The new generation is so hardwired into electronic communication, some can not carry on simple conversations in a face to face meeting of two people. How can we, with our children so isolated expect them to some day, leave home, go out and find a job, and be successful when they have been told all their lives not to talk to strangers?

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Werewolves or something like them in England

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A number of years ago I was fortunate enough to find myself in a small town in England. What a sense of history! I travelled around as much as was practical, and I had many unusual experiences.
Some I have had other places here in the US, but this one has only happened in England. I was telling some friends about it, and they thought it would make a great blog post? I have my doubts, but then thought, why not? So here is a short version. Enjoy, and do not let it scare you if things like this normally do scare you, as I am still here to talk about it.

I was with two other people (1981), and we were walking across the Green (a town square, sort of) on a path that met with another path in the middle of the Green at right angles. Think of two sidewalks crossing each other like streets do. There was a woman with a child of two or three years of age to our left, walking to my right. On our right were two teenage Girls of about fifteen, or sixteen years old walking from the right, laughing and giggling as Girls do. At this moment we were all about twenty-five feet apart walking towards the intersection.

In mid-stride, the two teenage ‘Girls’ appearance changes to something almost exactly what Dean Koontz describes in Odd Thomas. Between lifting one foot up and placing it down they changed from Girls into emaciated Werewolf like creatures. I could see no teeth, or claws, but their body structure was changed into that of a large dog walking, and their red eyes were glowing. They walked, and looked like a very large dog would on its hind legs. Even their appearance is hard to detail well. They kind of blurred into brown fuzz at the edges and center of their beings. They walked two to three steps in this Werewolf form, and just as suddenly, within a step, they turned back into normal teenage Girls.

When the ‘Girl’s’ changed appearance into this other state, the child of the Woman on our left started to run towards the ‘Girls’, calling out something. The Child’s Mother with a terrified look, ran forward, and roughly grabbed her daughter by the arm and yanked. She swung her daughter about three feet into the air, and walked a wide detour around the Girls, staring at them in fright, or downright fear, or maybe both as she did. I had no doubt that the woman at least saw these two Girls change into whatever they were/are, and then change back into girls again in the space of three steps. The woman’s daughter also saw them change be her reaction, but it may be she saw something other than we did, as she ran towards them.

Of course I saw this happen, and when I looked at the person with me, they also saw something from the shocked look on their face. When I asked after the Girls passed on the path, I heard a description of exactly what I saw happen, the Girl’s changed into something that looked like Werewolves for about three steps, and then changed back into young girls.

I filed this experience away as one of those things – not knowing any different at the time. By this time in my life seeing strange things for me, was not all that strange anymore. Then this last summer (2004) when I was reading Dean Koontz – Odd Thomas, the memory of that day came back when Koontz gave described his creatures in the book.

I can only surmise either Dean Koontz has seen these beings, read of them, or it is only a coincidence they ended up in his book? If you have experienced anything like this, I would like to read about it? Please leave a reply, or send me an email. Me email address in my about page.

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Management by fear, or winning at any cost

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I like management. I enjoy the different ways we choose to make their world work for ourselves. To be the most successful manager is more of an art form than a method, as a method can only take you so far. The very successful managers follow a blueprint method they studied, and then put into practice. The most brilliant managers however take a certain management style, and made it their own with minor tweaks and changes.

There has always been a type of manager that most people do not like, and yet they are successful. They can be identified easily because you never know what they are about to do in the next second. I remember the first person with this type of management I actually worked with was in the military. He was my Squadron Commander, and by all accounts he was quite successful. There was quite a grade difference between him, and those at my level. He was quite friendly, and affable, but talking with him was like walking on proverbial eggshells.

You had to be very careful with him, because the slightest improper remark that you never even noticed until he reminded you who owned your world, had you on the immediate defensive for a harmless comment. You found yourself trying to defend something said that needed no defense, because he decided it was somehow inappropriate. For a few very tense moments, your immediate future was very much undetermined.

I was watching the history channel this last weekend. They do a series named Gangland, and that is where the mystery was solved for me. One of the men on the show mentioned that he was told to study the classics, especially Niccolo Machiavelli. I never heard much about Machiavelli except a mention in some odd book here and there. This week I decided as I was book challenged I would brush up on Niccolo Machiavelli.

It seems he is a whole new aspect in the management arena. All by himself he determined an optimum method of management that had the most direct results in the shortest and least painful amount of time and effort. It is an adoption of Niccolo Machiavelli that these odd but interesting people use to control their empires, no matter how large or small.

What makes these people unique is they are successful because they are focused on their own success, without any concern over those around them, above them, or below them. As an example, Niccolo Machiavelli watched Ceseare Borgia carve out his own little empire. Borgia had used some mercenaries which was common at the time to quell unrest in a province recently taken under his control.

The officer in charge of the mercenaries did his job so well that unrest over the loss of the kingdom was quelled in record time. An unexpected outcome however was there was new unrest over the brutality and violence of the mercenaries over the previous few months. Borgia realized he was about to lose his newly won territory, and had to act quickly and decisively.

Ceseare Borgia called the mercenary commander to his headquarters out of the province for a meeting. Four days later the officer’s body, now in two pieces, was found in the province’s town square where it was left for weeks for all to see. Machiavelli realized Ceseare Borgia was a person who would do whatever had to be done in order for his goals to be achieved. He watched others at least as ruthless as Ceseare Borgia, and developed an appreciation for their abilities to get their way. No one or nothing was important enough, or loved enough to be a hindrance to their individual desire.

It has been was written about Niccolo Machiavelli, he would commit murder and sleep soundly if it improved his long turn objective. Not many of us are willing to go to those extremes for our wants to be met. Having the world, or your part of it fear, despise, and hate you, is not something most people aspire to. But when you come in contact with these people who do not act quite right, look a little closer, and ask them how they sleep at night. You might be in for quite an experience if you pay close attention to them.

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Change, not stagnation does do you good

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One of the interesting aspects of life that I find, is second chances. A second chance is almost planned into our lives by default or so it seems. It starts I suppose with our potty training as babies and continues on throughout our lives until we finally pass on. Some of us even have repeat the death experience, getting a second chance. Perhaps we are not as much a bystander in our own passing as it appears from the sidelines.

Some people I have noticed never use their second chance. They are too timid, or too something to even use their first chance. It seems they miss out on so much in life. It has to be something they develop after their formal schooling is complete. No one is let out of school because they quit trying after failing the third grade, or any grade for that matter. We are forced to keep on trying until either someone feels sorry for us and passes us, or we finally learn those things we need to learn to go on the next grade.

What I am not to sure of is when and how we start not trying, or giving up before we have to. There are so many people around me who have have worn the same style of clothing all their adult life, have never taken a risk, or have refused to taste a food that their Mom didn’t feed them as babies. In short they have never taken a risk that they were not forced into and had no choice but to take.

What happened in the life of someone who just stops in their late teens and never tries anything new again? What could possibly have happened that was so terrible that they choose never to do anything different than what they do already. I can not imagine something so painful that people stop and if they can help it life never changes again.

I think that would be such a dull confining world, especially in the friends, and romance department. Friends are rarely forever as much as we would like them to be. Unfortunately life changes whether we like it too or not, and friends do too. We move, move on, take on new interests, get married, get divorced, the list goes on and on. Friends move, spouses wake up and decide the life they are living is not for them any longer, and they leave. For whatever reason these adverse to risk people go on without trying to change their situation.

The same problem I see happening daily with our career choices. It is a uncommon today to know someone that has worked the same job all their working career. Companies grow, grow old, are bought up or simply stop being. Changes in the way things are done make some jobs obsolete. Changes in peoples thinking make other jobs fade away. I remember when the wearing of furs was a sign of prosperity. Now it’s in very bad taste to walk down the street covered in some animal’s skin.

How do people who refuse to change, or try something new adapt? Is it a life stressor for them to have their schedule interrupted by something they had no control over? Are they okay with making changes in their life only if they are forced into it? Or perhaps they just omit from their day that portion of life that no longer exits? They simply go into a holding pattern of doing nothing in that time when they used to do something?

Very few of us really like change. For the most part we like our world to be comfortable and predictable. We enjoy our schedules, calendars, and routine. Then again when most of us have to change, we grit our teeth, steel our nerves and do what has to be done. Perhaps there is a benefit to the human race, always having a few people on each end of the spectrum, and most of us clumped in the middle. I just may not have noticed it yet.

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Voices, choices, and perspective

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I knew a man a number of years ago. We were not friends, or even formal acquaintances. I knew him from where he worked and he new me as a casual customer. That is about as close as the relationship ever went. We had different views on life, so we lived in different circles. Well that is not really true but, it’s not quite not true either.

In his world, he had problems. Or maybe a better definition is psychological problems. He heard voices, and it used to scare him. I know people who hear voices all the time. I occasionally hear voices once in a while, and I never really think much about it.

When I was a child, my father told me once day, that there was a little man that sat on my shoulder. He would always tell me what was right, and what was wrong, and all I had to do was listen. That took care of any fear of voices I had in my life. Heck, if you can have a little man on your shoulder talking to you, why not a woman, little girl, or space creature? I was young enough not to read very much into what he told me, so voices were okay.

But this poor guy was scared of the voices he heard. They never told him anything bad that I knew of, though I have no idea what the voices told him. But I lived through voices second hand a number of times, and a few of my own from time to time, so I did not think much of it. For most of the people that knew him, it was so terrible he could see it written in practically any face he cared to look at.

He went away. I did not know to where until he came back. He committed himself because of the voices he heard. This is a key thought, because some people in his condition assume they are normal. It is a catch twenty-two from the movie, in action for him. Sane people understand generally that what they are experiencing is not normal, but those less lucky do not question for a moment what is happening to them.

He came back to his old job back, and he seemed to be okay for a while. Then it started to happen again. This time he decided to take a different track, and started talking privately (relatively speaking, seeing I heard about it) with a preacher, about his voices. I don’t know how it came around, but the way I heard the story, is the preacher told him he was possessed. He was told he was possessed and there was nothing to be done quickly because these things took time to fix. I guess he did not have that much time, because he took his rifle into the woods one summer day, and the voices quit talking to him.

The irony to me was, no one seemed really to care what the voices told him. It did not matter to anyone if he was talking to God himself, or to a lost spirit from seventeen hundreds, or a demon. Don’t you think that should make a difference? I think what he was hearing should have made a big difference, plus the fact, he thought there was a problem in his hearing voices, and sought out help once before.

Most people do not have the ability to be a prodigy in some area of life, but a few do. If for example the voices were telling him something worthwhile, or better yet, telling him how to raise money for the preacher, would he have ceased to exist on that summer day?

Welcoming change, and not fearing the unknown should be our focus. We tend to approach strange new things with fear, apprehension, and tunnel vision. It would be refreshing to see most of us act differently. Just because it is new, does not mean it is to be feared. If you do not try, you can not fail, if you never fail, you are not growing.

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