Your Financial Life

Money or the lack thereof is one of the biggest frustrations in most people’s lives. Recent studies have shown that besides the frustration we bring upon ourselves using our own money management system, when it comes to relationships and shared moneys we have a tendency to share our money with our opposites.

I wish I had a magic idea that would clear up the money dilemma, but I do not. All I can suggest is each side of a money debate work towards moving more towards the center line for the sake of both parties. The spender needs to adjust to the idea, that having money in the checking account on payday is okay. It is even better if it is moved to savings, but that is another step. For the frugal one, spending a little more saving a little less will not generally lead to financial catastrophe.

moneyWhat I can suggest and perhaps it is a new thought for you if you are struggling with your finances, whether your own money, or the family money pool, is to look at what can be done differently. Being willing to look at finances from a different perspective may provide that needed nudge to the center of the spending chart where you are living within your means, but still having fun with your life.

I focus on three different areas of my life that need to be taken care of financially. Finding a proper balance between these three areas does not mean that life suddenly is wonderful and there is money to throw around, but life is easier. Finding a proper balance means that life may not be a spending spree, not having to work forever is somewhere down the road.

First and foremost, I believe the most important financial focus is your retirement age. Determine while you are young at what age do you want to retire at. Be an optimist, but also take into consideration your schooling and your ability to generate money. If you have no education and few prospects, retiring at forty is probably not going to happen. If you have won a mega lottery, you can do whatever you wish within reason.

Secondly, you have to decide on your life style. Determine what type of lifestyle you can be happy with. Some people are happy with very little and some people want it all. All of us find ourselves somewhere in between. No one can have it all, and no one reading this is in much danger of finding themselves with nothing, and no possibility of improving.

Finally, but not least, a decision needs to be made on what you are willing to accept in the way of food and shelter. While most financial advice puts food and shelter as a higher priority, it does not need to be. When one is sleeping, there is little difference between a thousand dollar mattress, and a pile of blankets, as long as you sleep well it does not matter. The same goes for food. You may wish to eat steak and lobster three meals a week, but oatmeal and beans serve the body as well if not better than more expensive eating may.

The reason I choose retirement as the first option is not obvious if you are young and starting out on your life. If you are like most people starting out in life, you do not want to work, but you need to make a living until you can retire. The age you can retire at if you can afford to retire at all in many cases is determined by how you spend your lifetime earning between now and the day you set for retirement.

Having a nice place to live, flashy cars, and spending money on wants instead of needs is fun, it definitely effects your retirement age. If you choose to retire at fifty, and you have an average job, buying a flashy new car and making payments, does not build up the money you need to be able to experience life at fifty and retired. Walking, riding a bicycle, or taking a bus is more in line with making transportation as cheap as you can.

We should choose daily what we want for our life. We can live on the edge now, and risk everything for the moment, or choose to have less now to have more in the future. What is your retirement worth to you when you? What is your life style worth ? What is what you eat and where you live worth?

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Charity for the right reasons

There is an old saying, that probably is not well known any longer. The saying is, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” This saying was first uttered so long ago it seems the author has faded into history, although the advice is as true today as it was when first heard.

As with all good sayings, there is more to this saying than the few words that is takes to write it. Each of us owns our own life, and we have the right to choose how we wish to live it. Where conflict comes in, eg, the horse not drinking, is when we care about someone. We care about someone, but their life choices, and our life choices are not the similar enough. Because we care about someone we have a tendency to jump in and try to correct situations when we are not invited to. We like to think that because we care about them, we are entitled to have an opinion or voice in any situation of theirs we disagree with.

Some people have to go through life facing difficulties. They need what a hard life brings to complete their goals in their life, whether spiritual, or character centered. Each problem facing them is a new opportunity to either grow into what they envision themselves to be, or to reaffirm what they believe they have become. Sort of like practicing for an event, it is hard for these people to practice without something wrong in their lives.

Unfortunately for some of us, there is nothing wrong in other peoples lives. Only what they have created or manifested is what is happening to them. To us they live at the edge of their economy, they hang out with the wrong people, they walk alone in the wrong places at the wrong time. They do a hundred things that they should not be doing – in our opinion. On a cold day, the heat is on and the door is left open, because the sun is shining and they are feeling closed in. Then next week an envelope arrives in the mail, and suddenly they can not afford their heating bill.

I believe generally it is wrong to help someone who continuously places themselves and/or their family in these types of situations. This thinking may sound cold hearted or just plain bad, but it is true. Whether the currency is money, time, or something else, our gifts are too valuable to waste on someone who does not value what we give. These gifts we have accumulated through our lives are not to be wasted. When gifts we have are given to someone who does not value them, what happens? To us it looks as if they have wasted their gifts, and now they are wasting our gifts too. Do not give away your gifts any quicker than you would give away your keys, and your home address. Your gifts are not necessarily overly scarce, but they are not endless either. They are to be used wisely and for the right reasons.

There is another old quote that applies in these situations, “Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water.”

Helping others is a wonderful thing if it is done with the proper attitude, and the proper perspective. Throwing a dollar bill to the person that stands on the street corner with a pail every day is throwing away your financial gifts. Think of how much better use you can put your gifts to if they are given at the right time for the right reason to someone who is really ready for them? If you wait for the right time and the right reason to share your gifts, you will discover so much more than what you have given. The person you choose to share your gifts with will also receive so much more than a few dollars, or a little of your time. You will find you both have something to share in, and you both will feel fulfilled, and grateful, albeit for different reasons. Finally, in being frugal with sharing your gifts, you will find the greatest gift of all is letting someone make their own way, in their own fashion, at their own pace. Once you realize you have found this gift, you will know the people you were trying to help are perfect just the way they are! And they will know you finally understand what they have been trying so hard to teach you.

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