Tag Archives: intent

Lose New Years Resolutions Find Year Long Intentions

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I am guessing like most people, you have defined your resolutions for the next year. How do they feel?  Most likely your resolutions are maintenance type resolutions to take care of something with your physical self.

Resolutions such as losing weight, quitting something, or exercising more are common resolutions that are made each New Year. These resolutions are for the most part hollow, and generally groundless.

New Years resolutions are rarely followed over the whole year. The first days and weeks resolutions are fresh and part each days focus. As weeks three, four and beyond arrive, resolutions that were made so firmly, start sliding down the what is important today scale.

Should any of these resolutions really have been be made? Are any of these resolutions really important in life? Are those resolutions only space fillers or place holders, forgotten by the end of the month? Most importantly, do resolutions make anyone feel good way inside where it counts?

Perhaps it is time to make real choices that mean something, and will potentially make a real difference each and every day of the next year, and every year after. I suggest my rule of three to help make real resolutions. This rule of three creates a timeline of the year. Use the rule of three to split the year into: this week, this month, and this year.

Instead of making resolutions, add value to your life this year and create intentions. An intention is to have a course of action, resolution is simply finding a solution but not acting on it. When creating your intentions, make intentions having a path making real changes in your life.

Pretend it is possible this next year may be the last year you will be alive. If the idea of this next year being your last year alive is scary, think about people you knew or heard of, who thought they would be here this year, making yet another list of resolutions to be forgotten after a few weeks. Being alive means accepting we may be one of those people that someone alive pauses to think about this time next year.

Now that resolutions are out and intention is in, it is time to take the next step. Look at your next week, starting tomorrow, the day after, or whatever day you pick as the start of your week. What can you do to make a real difference in your life that will make you feel and those around you feel good? What will you intend for the next month that can not be done in a week? What will you intend for the remainder of what may be your last year that you can not do in a day or a month? What changes can you bring into your life that will actually mean something.

Here is my New Years rule of three. What are you going to intend for the next week? What are you going to intend for the next month? What are you going to intend for the next year? Thinking in this way is acknowledging our mortality, and focusing our intentions in manageable periods. Combined in this manner intention becomes a powerful reality, and a life tool everyone can use.

Each of our lives are unique, as are our life situations. Below are some suggestions of what you may wish to intend in your life. Intention will improve your life, and the lives of all who will enter and leave your life next week, month, and year. Read these thoughts over and change them for use in your life or use them as starting points for totally new intents in your life.

Resolutions are generally weak and lead to yet another failure on the list of many. Thought out meaningful intentions are powerful life changing tools which make you grateful to be finally alive.

Here are some thoughts to help create intention for your personal use:  Tell a parent, sibling, or friend what you really want to tell them; Find out peoples names who are peripheral in your life, and tell them how they change your life for the better by doing what they do; Be grateful and respectful to the once living things that are now your food; Learn about a people or culture you know nothing about; Learn more about your spiritual self.

Learn more about your religion and why you believe what you do; Read autobiographies, listen to audio books, or watch movies about people you admire; Learn another persons culture and beliefs; Create quiet time to be outside; Buy, plant, and care for a plant(s); Plant or place a potted flower in a needy public place and take care of it; Find someone you can help each _; Attend a church you have never been to; Eat a meal of food you have never eaten; Talk to strangers, strangers have something important to tell you about your life right now, ask them what it is. Look for ways to make a difference in someone’s life.

Here is an easy to remember thought: ‘To be resolute is to be unwavering, to intend is to have action and purpose. I create my life with intent.’

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Loss of focus and intent meant less quality time for friends

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I had a call to go to a lunch from a friend I have not seen in quite a while. Of course I said yes. We set a date and time, and met for a meal at a coffee shop. I had not seen him in quite a while and I was excited to catch up on old times, and find out what has happened since the last time we met.

When I arrived, my friend was already seated at a table waiting for me to show up. We did the usual hello’s people do who have not seen each other in a while. As soon as we sat back down my friend said the table was not in a spot he wanted, but was told that the table he wanted was in an zone where the waitress was too busy.

We sat chatting and a waitress walked up to take our order. I told her what I wanted, and my friend did the same. The first thing my friend said was the woman did not look like a very good waitress. She looked too preoccupied about something else, and did not seem to be as focused as she should have been on us, her customers.

The meal finally arrived, and we had to ask for silver wear so we could eat what we had ordered. Neither meal looked that great, but it was a coffee shop, and my expectations were not that high. I was not disappointed looking at my choices. My friend found pickles in his sandwich. He had asked for his sandwich to be made without pickles, and he made a point of it. He called the waitress over and told her what was wrong with his plate, and asked that his sandwich be remade without any pickles in it, not even the flavor from the juice.

We were close to finishing our meal when the waitress appeared and asked my friend who still had about two bites of his sandwich in his hand, if he was done? Of course he was not, but he said yes, and she took away his plate leaving him nowhere to set down his sandwich. Of course this brought about further commentary from my friend which had elevated up the level of flat out complaining about the poor service this place was providing to its customers.

When I had eaten the last bite of my sandwich the waitress showed up as I was still chewing and asked if I was done…I shook my head yes, and she took my plate and disappeared. This interrupted my friend’s conversation, and started another round of complaining about how bad the service was.

Eventually as we talked, sitting there with no plates, no drinks, and no bill, the waitress did a drive by and dropped the bill. My friend looked it over as I reached for my wallet and pronounced that this was the worst meal and service he had experienced in a long time. I agreed and tried to get the conversation back to us, but he was distracted one to many times, and was fuming about how bad everything was. What could I do but agree?

What stuck out in my mind about a cheap lunch with my friend was I was there to talk to him and catch up on what has changed since we last had met. My friend started out with that intention, but became upset over a cheap meal, that took his focus from us, to everything going on around us in the coffee shop.

I left feeling we missed out on a lot of good conversation, and I am sure once he cooled down sometime later he did too. I thought we met with mixed intentions, and that created a less than good get together. I went there to celebrate my friendship and catch up on what went by, and he allowed himself to be distracted by things that really did not matter. Yes the food was less than good. Yes the service was less than satisfactory. The main point is we were there to see each other, not rate the coffee shop’s food and service.

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