Tag Archives: life

Your Life, Make it Into a Life You Want

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happy-21In times past when I was not angry or feeling sorry for myself, I would think about those people I sort of admired. I could never actually say I admired them because that would infer that they had something I did not. Of course those people I almost admired did have something at that point and time I did not; I just refused to let myself admit it.

It was not a flower lined garden path to get from where I was to where those people were and are. It was one heck of a hard trip actually. While I would not quite say it was up there with deciphering the Rosetta Stone, it was not too far from something as puzzling and exotic. Perhaps more like trying to read a book in Braille, without any idea of what the book is about or what language it is in.

What eventually happened to me was acceptance of myself, and the limitations I imposed on myself. My life was what it was because I made it that way – spending years to create my life such as it was. I could either accept that this was my life, and there is nothing more to life, or I could allow the possibility those people I almost admired were living their lives on a different level than I was.

I chose the second option. What makes change difficult is all the previous hours, months, or years we spend perfecting this exact moment in our lives. No matter what your age is, or what you have done in your life, you have spent your entire lifetime perfecting this exact moment.

It does not matter if you are reading this and are totally focused on the thoughts behind the words. You may be reading this to kill time; wondering if when you get to the end you will find something you can use in your life. Or you may be like I was knowing that your own life can be better, but not knowing what to do to make it happen.

What to do next is easier said than done. What you can do from this moment on is quit living in what your life is, and start living what you want your life to be. No matter what your past is, or current situation may be, let everything you do not want in your life go. Start living in this moment, and live in every moment from here onward and you will change your life into what you believe your life should be.

The alternative, if what you read sounds like baloney is to do nothing. Doing nothing is the surest way to keep yourself from any possibility of change from happening. This is the only moment when you will read this for the first time. When you finish reading, there will never again be a first time to read it. As in your life, you could copy and paste it into a text file and read it as often as you want. Of course your life won’t change, unless you go in and edit the file.

If your life is perfect right now, reading this is an affirmation of what you already know or learned. If what you have read makes you a little uncomfortable, or there is a voice in the background suggesting you wasted your time reading this, you may want to take it as a sit up and pay attention message?

You have all the control over your life that you need. If you are a reasonable person, and I imagine you are, you know every correct answer to all your life questions. You can stand toe to toe with anyone on this earth and discuss what is right for your life and be one-hundred percent correct – at this moment. All you have to do is acknowledge that there is a life you want to life out there and moment by moment, you are going to live your way to it.

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Life and happiness you wish for – part one

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I once worked with a man whose nickname was Cracker, and he certainly was. Cracker was very funny, and sometimes very witty with great insight. One of his favorite sayings to all of us who worked under him stuck with me. Cracker said it often enough that I will never forget it. I use it often myself in certain situations.

Cracker insisted we be neat, and clean up our work area. Men in general are neither if they we a choice in the matter. If it weren’t for women willing to share their lives with us, some of us would have a hard time telling the bed from the clothes pile next to it. What Cracker would say almost like a mantra was this: “Plan your work, work your plan, and clean up as you go.” I later worked in an electronics repair shop where they had signs that read, “Your Mother doesn’t work here, clean up after yourself.” Same idea, different song…

In many ways Cracker’s saying applies to life in general just as it did work. If you do not have a plan, follow it, and check on your progress, you may get lost, or worse. Getting lost or worse lends itself to an important life question which is the purpose of this post. We all ask ourselves the same question, and we spend our lifetime finding and answer and validating what we find. That very important life question is: What is the plan for my life, and what is my real purpose in life?

I thought of an easy method today of how to start traveling down the path which leads to our real purpose, which leads to a happy life, and a better world. Of course I have no idea about your life purpose, nor could I venture a guess of any worth, but what I thought of today will help you solve this puzzle, and at the very least get you going in the right direction.

I went on a road trip last summer to Minnesota with one of my daughters and two grandchildren. I know myself fairly well, and I know I am not overly fond of structure. What I started planning out was a plan to camp out each night on the way to our destination and back. After I gave my idea more thought, I decided maybe that was a good plan for me, but not good for my daughter. I then hit upon a compromise. We would drive until we did not want to drive any longer and then find a hotel that was not a part of a national chain.

As I was thinking today about that road trip, I realized what a great tool the planning portion could be for planning our lives! Planning a road trip, real or not will help you find your path to your future! No need to take a literal trip at all, the planning is the important part. Plan a trip that is at least a week long, although two weeks or possibly three weeks is better.

It doesn’t matter of you plan it on maps, through Google, or with a travel agent or company. The important thing is to create a plan for your trip. Let your imagination take you wherever you want to go. If you want to ski across Europe, then plan it out. If you want to drive through snow country, or swim in the Caribbean, plan it out.

Plan your trip as you need to until you know you could leave the next day and your trip would be a success. Make sure you account for everything you want or need while you are gone.

Part two to follow shortly….

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Easy side of life

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When I became old enough to legally drive I bought a motorcycle. Life was pretty good. When weekends rolled around, and I was not working, it was a simple thing to grab my sleeping bag and fishing rod and head out to the lake for the weekend.

Weather was my biggest concern I did not have a tent so any rain meant I had to find a dry spot to sleep, or as dry as one could find at the lake. If I caught fish I had something to eat. If I did not catch any fish, a day or two without food was sufferable.

After I was asked not to return for another year of college, I went out and found a job and new friends because college was in another town in another state. Some of my friends were just like me. We had little to nothing except a job and a vehicle that would get us from one place to another – most of the time. Life was still pretty simple, pay the rent, have fun.

Of course about his time we start to get swept up in what every one around us is doing. It became important to find a better job, drive a better car, be a little more responsible. Before I knew it, all my single friends were getting married and settling down. I followed suit.

Suddenly life starts becoming more complicated; the easy days of only having to worry about myself were sliding into the past, as were casual days of camping by the lake, and generally lazing around having fun. I had to expand my focus from myself to my family. Taking a weekend off to go fishing became a luxury, not just another weekend. Fixing the car, buying furniture, clothes, baby food, and diapers became more important than me.

Nothing stays the same of course, but it did not seem like it at the time. The future looked like an unending need for diapers, baby food and kids clothes. Occasionally I would eke out a few hours for me, but those times were rare.

Of course those times went away, and slowly but surely I was not needed so much. In fact the biggest thing that was needed from me was an income. I started feeling like an ATM. I would look into the future and see years of working for a paycheck to have it disappear moments after it was cashed, only to start the process all over again.

This too went away, and my life became mostly mine again. Of course by this time, much of what I used to do was now something that young people do. Hanging out at the local bar did not have the same appeal it did years ago. Other hobbies were also left by the wayside for the same reasons. Other things like going to the lake for the weekend are now more involved because of all the things we need for going to the lake. What was once a two minute stuff a sleeping bag and one change of underwear into a rucksack is now a load the truck with everything process.

I wonder if this planning and packing is a form of ritual such as Thanksgiving or Easter, or is it something else. I find myself trying to simplify everything, but for some reason it is not an easy task to simplify. The line between what I need in my life and everything in my life is grey and convoluted. What once was clear and simple, now takes a little planning.

I was reading a few web sites about being homeless a few weeks ago, and it almost sounded pleasant to me. Not many cares with all the programs out there that would take care of me. All I would need is a safe place to sleep each night – and most of everything I have in my life at present.

Maybe being homeless is not as simple I perceive it to be. I imagine for now, I will be happy I can go to the lake, and not care about the three hours it takes to get ready to go. Being grateful enters my thoughts at moments like this.

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Patterns of life or not

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I wonder at times, or maybe I am sure that there is a seemingly active intelligence that runs my world. I first noticed it as a young fisherman. I would hear the older fishermen talk about it happening, although being young there were never very many people to discuss it with. Later I noticed it playing sports. After that it was dating, driving, or almost any random activity.

Start with fishing, that is where I first noticed it, and I bet you noticed it about the same time. We did a lot of stream fishing. The adults, usually my Mom, Grandfather, or other family members would descend on one of many favorite trout streams. Which stream depended on the time of year, or how the other stream was purportedly doing relative to what they thought they could catch at a particular stream.

I was old enough I could fish by myself within a certain boundaries. I could go no further upstream than this rock, and no farther downstream than this bend. That was usually about one hundred yards of mostly shallow water. I would cast out my worm and wait. Sometimes I would catch a fish. Once in a while I would fish at a spot where I would catch many fish. When I found a many fish spot I would go back to it next time, and usually I would catch fish there every time at that spot.

Usually, being a key word of the previous sentence. As soon as I told someone about the great fishing spot on the stream and they walked with me to fish for a few minutes we would not get as much as a single bite. I would end up telling a friend or family member, “You should have been here the last times.” This uttered after I have spent many days bragging about how good the fishing was at my ‘secret spot’.

Driving a car reinforced my thinking about my life being manipulated and changed instantly. Speed all I want until I really need to get somewhere, and bingo! A police car every quarter mile is be the new reality. It always amazes how this happens.

What is even more amazing is what happens once I realize there is a pattern involved. I discover a pattern that has repeated itself time after time or event after event. All I have to do is tell someone what I observed. Suddenly, it is like the previous fifty times never happened. Nothing I experienced before happens, and everything does that never happened before.

The stock market I have found follows the same laws, once I recognized a pattern, the pattern disappears. I discovered this in the middle to late 80’s when the market high and lows followed the cycle of the moon, or so it seemed.

What I find most amazing is the speed and completeness of these changes. It is like any previous pattern never existed, and is simply a figment of my imagination. Almost the moment I realize there is a pattern to follow, the whole program changes! If I am lucky enough to solve discover the new pattern quickly it changes again into something new.

I wish I had an answer or explanation for the highly aware very sophisticated force that can change my world in the blink of an eye, yet make it all flow like it has always been that way, but I can’t. If you have read to hear, and find this confusing, or simply think I am full of it, put it to the test yourself.

Look for patterns in something you do. Something that is rather complex and involves yourself only. Once you are sure you know what will happen, watch a change happen right before your eyes.

I really believe there is a real and tangible something in my life, that instantly rearranges my life when I notice something that apparently I am not supposed to notice. Maybe it is all me, maybe it is not, I am sure at a loss to explain it.

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Polished by life

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Some people see life as painful process where they go through each day, each year, and each decade feeling like little pieces of themselves are torn off and cast aside. Every struggle, conflict, and tribulation no matter how small tears off a little piece of them.

As their life goes on they start to feel and look tired and a little worn out. As they grow older the effects of life pulling and tugging at them away each day becomes more obvious. If live to be very old they feel like a hollow shell where everything has been drained out of them.

They remember being young and having energy and fight, and strength, taking on the worst life can throw their way, but over the years it becomes to much. Life starts draining them, sapping their strength, and quelling their love of life. They are not sure where exactly it all happened, they remember the big issues, death, divorce, and financial struggles. They seldom remember the little things that really drained them. The day to day grind that their life turned out to be.

I share some part of me with people who feel like this. I have my days when I feel like life is trying to grind me into the ground and turn me into a dust cloud to be blown away by the wind. Everyone normal has these days or days like them. I think I am lucky though because for me these days are few and far between.

I love the change and challenge my life, and the sometime unique ways everything turns out for the best no matter what my efforts were. Problems and challenges are a part of life, we can not escape them normally. If we do escape problems that happen in every day life, it is time to acknowledge we may have a bigger problem starting with denial.

I had a though that prompted me to write about this. One that sort of puts life and the challenges we face in perspective. I saw myself in my minds eye as a rough and jagged rock. It did not look like much, just a big rock. As I watched, little chips were taken out of the rock, some so small they were hardly noticeable. Other times, larger pieces of the rock were broken all at once.

As I watched this movie play in my head, I made the connection that the rock was me. Over the years, little pieces have been chipped away from me. During those somber serious life events, larger pieces of me were broken off and cast aside. While parts of me are being chipped away over the years and decades something else was happening too.

I have been taking on a form or shape, becoming defined. My jagged outside was becoming polished, and taking on a little shine. Things that used to take little chips out of me, now polish me a little bit.

Maybe if I live long enough, one day I will look into my minds eye and see a shiny stone where the rough jagged rock once stood.

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Your life in your time

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I remember as a teenager wanting an identity of my own, rather than being my parents child. I used to set out on long weekends away from home looking for me and who I was. I would camp out at the lake, or by streams and rivers fishing and looking for me.

I never did find myself which at the time was frustrating for me. I thought once I was physically away from home finding out who I was would be an easy matter. After all anyone I was likely to meet or talk to would have no idea who my parents were, and should have a clear idea of who I was.

All these years later, I know now, that what I was doing was writing the story of my life. It was not out there for me to find, but rather there was a large empty blackboard waiting for me to fill. Who I ‘was’ is a lifetime of living and discovery.

Of all things that appeal to us, the first sought after are usually not the best for us. The best we can become take some searching and planning. I discovered a few things that may be of interest to you in the process of finding me.

Of the many things I have become, a few of them should not happen until their time. Getting married and having children are two that come to mind rather quickly. Many of us want to get married and we want to have children. That is the way we are, at least we want the try to have children part.

Getting married and having children though should be a farther along the road of becoming who we are rather than an early life goal. It is pretty difficult to become a parent and raise a family when we have not given ourselves a chance to discover who we are.

Other things should be done as soon as possible. For example, going to college or traveling across the country should be early life goals. College has obvious benefits and should be completed before life gets complicated. The same goes for wanting to strike out on our own or do some traveling. Traveling is much easier when there are no other responsibilities in our life.

Some things should be avoided all together. There are some roads where one should not venture when creating our future us. These are determined by what we think and feel, and vary from person to person. What is okay for one, is not okay for a second person.

Don’t be afraid to take reasonable risks. Because our life is basically empty until we start living it, taking risk is part of the process of defining who we are. Doing something you have never done before can lead to new friendships and interests. Be careful and make sure that what you are about to do is something you can tell your parents you are doing. It is a long lifetime, and it is easy to do something starting out in life that is regretted forever. The old saying, ‘look before you leap’, applies. Some new adventures can put you in a wheelchair or prison, or worse for life. Think long and hard before you act.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes when you are finding you. If you are not making mistakes, you may not be reaching far enough. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, just make sure the mistakes you could make, do not harm yourself or others.

As I was out there making my own mistakes, and trying out new things, and discarding things that no longer worked for me, somewhere along the line I found myself. I found out who I am, and clarified my likes and dislikes. I learned what I wanted from my life.

Who you become is who you become. It takes time to create your life, and if you find it is not working for you, it will take time to change your life again. It is not possible to change who you are overnight. It is not possible to write the complete book of your life and who you are until the final page is written. Until then we are on a sometimes rambling journey down the path of life.

Enjoy where you are at in your journey and make the most of it, the next chapter will start in it own time and rushing it does not speed the process up but only adds frustration. Enjoy today and tomorrow will take care of itself is a good though to end on.

Happy New Year, happy new life!

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