Tag Archives: new year

New Years Resolution You Want to Do

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It is January 2011 and many of us are starting our annual cycle of frustration, guilt, and unfulfilled wants in the form of New Year’s Resolutions. If you read my New Year Resolutions post from last year, you know I am not a big fan of New Year Resolutions in their present form. I offered up some ideas for changing New Year resolutions into something you can really use and feel proud of because they are obtainable ideas.

This year, I suggest another option for New Year Resolutions. Making amends, and letting those around you know how and what you really feel is my thought for this year. While it may sound a little silly, or perhaps something that sounds a little uncomfortable, yet is a healthy thing to do. Coming clean so to speak with those around you is liberating, for you and for those whom you love and care about.

One of the big misses for me when I was a child came in the form of endearments. While there was never any doubt how my Parents felt about me, it was rarely spoken. Rather how my folks felt about me was sent to the realm of being a given. When I grew into adulthood, I found it hard to express to those close to me, how I felt about them, and how fortunate I was to have them in my life.

Take a few moments and think about your life and how you interact with those around you. Maybe we have something in common when it comes to being open and grateful of those around us? Actions may speak louder than words on occasion, but heartfelt words can also quiet the restless beast. Maybe speaking a few words will bridge that slight distance we feel when we are alone and thinking of those around us.

It takes an especially strong person not to reflect us back to us, and be themselves instead of another form of us when we are together. People who can do this are rare, those people who always make us feel special even when we do not feel too special ourselves.

This year I propose that we let go of those artificial barriers we set in place separating us from all but those rare personalities. I have found the world does not end, the sky does not split, and the ground does not swallow me up when I say the unsaid that comes from the heart.

Instead I find that people in my life are empowered to be themselves without my personal barriers preventing them from being themselves. Life feels better when those walls are knocked down and you empower yourself to say what is in your heart and not let it remain locked up inside of you.

The poets of love have always written it feels better to share your heart with another rather than keep your feelings locked up. When it comes to matters of the heart, even if the other person does not feel the same way, you no longer have the burden of how you feel locked away in a dark corner. Family members and friends may know how you feel about them, but they will feel better if they not only know, but they hear how you feel about them.

What is in it for you is the feelings of distance and aloneness will slowly dissolve, and you may learn that most people, even strangers care about you and your well being more than you would have guessed. Change is hard. Making resolutions that fall by the wayside is harder. Try rewarding yourself this year with a resolution that makes you feel good about yourself and those around you, and see what happens!

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Lose New Years Resolutions Find Year Long Intentions

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I am guessing like most people, you have defined your resolutions for the next year. How do they feel?  Most likely your resolutions are maintenance type resolutions to take care of something with your physical self.

Resolutions such as losing weight, quitting something, or exercising more are common resolutions that are made each New Year. These resolutions are for the most part hollow, and generally groundless.

New Years resolutions are rarely followed over the whole year. The first days and weeks resolutions are fresh and part each days focus. As weeks three, four and beyond arrive, resolutions that were made so firmly, start sliding down the what is important today scale.

Should any of these resolutions really have been be made? Are any of these resolutions really important in life? Are those resolutions only space fillers or place holders, forgotten by the end of the month? Most importantly, do resolutions make anyone feel good way inside where it counts?

Perhaps it is time to make real choices that mean something, and will potentially make a real difference each and every day of the next year, and every year after. I suggest my rule of three to help make real resolutions. This rule of three creates a timeline of the year. Use the rule of three to split the year into: this week, this month, and this year.

Instead of making resolutions, add value to your life this year and create intentions. An intention is to have a course of action, resolution is simply finding a solution but not acting on it. When creating your intentions, make intentions having a path making real changes in your life.

Pretend it is possible this next year may be the last year you will be alive. If the idea of this next year being your last year alive is scary, think about people you knew or heard of, who thought they would be here this year, making yet another list of resolutions to be forgotten after a few weeks. Being alive means accepting we may be one of those people that someone alive pauses to think about this time next year.

Now that resolutions are out and intention is in, it is time to take the next step. Look at your next week, starting tomorrow, the day after, or whatever day you pick as the start of your week. What can you do to make a real difference in your life that will make you feel and those around you feel good? What will you intend for the next month that can not be done in a week? What will you intend for the remainder of what may be your last year that you can not do in a day or a month? What changes can you bring into your life that will actually mean something.

Here is my New Years rule of three. What are you going to intend for the next week? What are you going to intend for the next month? What are you going to intend for the next year? Thinking in this way is acknowledging our mortality, and focusing our intentions in manageable periods. Combined in this manner intention becomes a powerful reality, and a life tool everyone can use.

Each of our lives are unique, as are our life situations. Below are some suggestions of what you may wish to intend in your life. Intention will improve your life, and the lives of all who will enter and leave your life next week, month, and year. Read these thoughts over and change them for use in your life or use them as starting points for totally new intents in your life.

Resolutions are generally weak and lead to yet another failure on the list of many. Thought out meaningful intentions are powerful life changing tools which make you grateful to be finally alive.

Here are some thoughts to help create intention for your personal use:  Tell a parent, sibling, or friend what you really want to tell them; Find out peoples names who are peripheral in your life, and tell them how they change your life for the better by doing what they do; Be grateful and respectful to the once living things that are now your food; Learn about a people or culture you know nothing about; Learn more about your spiritual self.

Learn more about your religion and why you believe what you do; Read autobiographies, listen to audio books, or watch movies about people you admire; Learn another persons culture and beliefs; Create quiet time to be outside; Buy, plant, and care for a plant(s); Plant or place a potted flower in a needy public place and take care of it; Find someone you can help each _; Attend a church you have never been to; Eat a meal of food you have never eaten; Talk to strangers, strangers have something important to tell you about your life right now, ask them what it is. Look for ways to make a difference in someone’s life.

Here is an easy to remember thought: ‘To be resolute is to be unwavering, to intend is to have action and purpose. I create my life with intent.’

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My New Years wish for you

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Sitting here looking at a blank sheet of cyber paper is no fun. Writing down at least one sentence makes it much more fun, even if one sentence has nothing to do with what the rest of the page will be filled with. In this case, I am thinking about what I would like for you for the coming year, because I know you want to make positive changes in your life. Because I care about you, I want those changes to be good changes, just like you do. So I am going to start now….

Take a small part of your day on New Years Eve, and think about what you would be doing if you had only one-half a year to live. If you knew without a doubt that you had five good months, and one month of dying, where you could reflect back on the previous five months, what would you do with the rest of your life starting now? It is a serious question. Some people even though they are perfectly fit, and in excellent health won’t be here in six months, six weeks, or even six days. I am sure none of those people will be you or I, but it could be any of us. On my way home today, I may be in an accident that ends my life.

Once you decide those things that you would be doing if you knew you had only a few months to live, and a few weeks to reflect on them, start finding ways to bring those things into your life starting tomorrow. It is these things that will bring you true happiness. Money and fame can not do anything for you if you can not truly enjoy the things you have in your life right now. Having lots of free time can not make life more filling, unless you can fill your time with something that is truly important to you. Personal satisfaction of working on or towards something we consider important and really care about is what makes us truly happy.

Just about everything you are worrying about right now, and what you will worry about in the next year is a waste of your time. If you do not believe me, stop for a minute and make a list of what those things you are worrying about right now. Once your list is made, draw a line on the paper to separate these things from your next list. For your next list, copy from your first list those things you can really and truly do something about. Only those items that you personally have control over. This much smaller list is something you should actively work on because they are the only things you can control. The rest of those items on your first list, you may as well throw away. You can do nothing with those remaining items on your first list, so worrying about them, or letting them waste your time is futile.

Finally, because I care about you, and I want you have a better next year, I have one remaining suggestion? Take time for you. This is probably the most important of my three suggestions, because no matter how well you do the first two things, if you do not take time for you, you are cheating yourself. By taking time for you, I mean making sure your life is in balance. We all need things in our lives to get us through the month. I think my Grandfather said it better than I have ever heard it said. He was talking about work, but it applies to all areas of our lives. My Grandfather asked me a few days after I was married what I was going to do for work. I told him about my main job, and how I was planning to get a second job if need be.

My Grandfather, being a crusty old Irishman, who did not believe in wasting words told me, “If a man can not make ends meet with one job, he sure as hell can’t do it with two jobs.” I thought I understood what he meant all those years ago. I know I did not understand the true meaning. He was telling me that it was the quality of my life that is important, not the things I have in it.

These are my wishes for you for the next year. If you are already doing these things, I am excited and happy for you! If you are not, they sound simple, but may take some thinking and planning to accomplish. One step at a time will get you there. I can hardly wait to see you when you get there! My best for you in the New year!

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