Tag Archives: pain

Please Wait For Dawn

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An old television series “Mash” still rolls across the airwaves on some channel or other, at some time of day or night. Mash was a series about a front line medical unit in the Korean War. The characters all did an outstanding job which made the show believable no matter how crazy the episode became.

The theme song for “Mash” is a song I rarely heard anywhere until after the Cast and Crew retired and all that was left were reruns. The song never caught on, but it still received some air time. The Mash theme song was named, Suicide is Painless. Unless you are paying attention you will not really notice the lyrics to the song. Some songs are like that. Songs like this one flow so smoothly, they float through us, and we never hear the words.

I want to get to the point of this post now, and there seems to be no easy way to do it. This is a post about suicide. I don’t know if because there are so many more people, suicide gets more publicity, or nothing has changed; but suicide comes and goes like the flu. It is especially prevalent among Teens these days.

I understand the reasons why Teens are especially vulnerable to the idea of Suicide. Peer pressure, feelings of not belonging, feeling distant, pressure to get good grades, and pressure to always be a winner, and other forms of pressure are constant when you are a Teen.

While these are serious matters, and very painful at the time, none of them are so serious that suicide is a good fix for them. We all have felt the pressure of surviving our teen years, and we all know how bad they can be.

The problem with suicide is the thought process. It is akin to Plato’s Cave. If you are not familiar with Plato’s Cave, here is a short explanation. A number of people are seated in a dark cave watching a play in front of them. The cave is so dark that you can not see the people seated behind you. Nor can you really make out the people in front of you other than there are people sitting in front of you.

The play is unfolding in front of you. You watch the actors and follow the story line. The story line is the story line of pain. When the pain becomes too much thoughts of suicide enter into the play. We get so involved in our pain, we forget there is a whole world outside of the cave. We become so fixated on our pain we forget about the rest of our life.

Our pain is intensified by external sources. People create or contribute to our pain. They may not intend to cause pain. They may want to be rid of their pain, or make someone else hurt like they do.

Somehow the idea creeps in to our thoughts that the only control we have over the drama on the stage is to stop the pain by stopping us. If we no longer exist the pain can no longer hurt. If we cease to exist, everything will be better.

Few people, especially Teens ever admit to feeling this way. I believe it is a lot more prevalent than we would like to think it is. I am of the opinion some of us try to pass our pain to others in the hope one day we will start to feel the pain going away.

We become so focused on stopping our pain, we do not see it will be the end end for us. The pain of life will go away, period. It is vital to understand the pain we feel is something in a state of passing. It will go away if we only move slowly and wait for it to move on.

This pain which hits many Teens, like everything else in life is only short term, even though it may feel like it will go on forever. Your Parents, Aunts, and Uncles, any adult you know has either gone through the same pain and feelings, or knows someone who did.

It is hard to think about before or after this all started, but you need to think about both before and after. Never before in your life has anything affected you like what you are feeling now. Don’t give up, you will be happy again. Wait for happier times to return.

There is an old saying, “It is always the darkest before the Dawn”.

If you can not see a way out of your pain or see a future, it is a sure sign the worst is over and Dawn is just around the corner. Dawn is worth waiting for, because with the Dawn is a reawakening of all that is good about life, and why life is worth living.

I promise you, if you can wait a day, week, month, even a year, the pain will go away and life will become what it is meant to be for you. All you have to do is know that life can not get any worse, you have hit the bottom, it will only get better. Dawn will be here soon, if you will only believe it will. If you can not allow yourself to believe the worst is over, take a minute or two to think about this:

There are an untold number of people waiting for you in your future who need you in their life. The reasons why they will need you in their lives will all be different.  If you never enter their lives they will never receive the gifts you have to give them. They will never be able to do for themselves what you are going to do for them. Please do not let these people down, they are counting on you being there for them.

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Grateful for life and death lessons from pets in my life

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My first day off of my work week today and it sure feels good to sleep in. It would feel better if my cat did not have to come and wake me up to see if I am really supposed to be getting up or not, but we sometimes have to accept the good with the bad. It provides balance in our lives. I am grateful for all the pets I have had over the years. They help me prepare for everything in my life.

I had turtles when I was very young. I only remember because I did not know how to take care of them when it was time for them to hibernate, they started to stink instead of sleep like I was told they would do. While I never learned how to create a place for turtles to hibernate, I did have a quick lesson in death.

Next it was Guppies I had in a glass one gallon aquarium. I was given some weeds to put in so the guppies had some place to hide. They hid so well, when my Mom decided to clean the aquarium we counted over ninety guppies in various stages of growth. Deciding there was too much weed, the population was quickly reduced by guppy cannibalism. I learned about predatory behavior from Guppies.

We also had dogs over the years. One was a Spaniel/Labrador mix who had been hit by a car as a pup. His stomach muscles were hurt, and his belly was very low to the ground. One of the neighbors accused him of jumping a six foot fence and breeding with their Chihuahua. I was too young to understand about sex, but I did learn that sometimes people tried to pass off stories that were not completely true. That poor dog could barely climb stairs without dragging his belly let alone jump.

A few years later another dog who had made into his late twenties was dying in a painful way. My Mom and Dad talked it over, and decided the best thing to do was put him down. Put him down meant a bullet in the head in those days. My Mom took out the vacuum cleaner, and furiously started vacuuming an already clean floor as my father went outside with the dog, and did what had to be done. He was gone a while, but when he came in my Mom and I knew the dog was asleep, never to waken again. I learned about sorrow, and loss from that dog.

Next was a horse my folks had bought me. He was a Tennessee Walker colt. I could not ride him as he was too young, so he roamed the pasture with my sisters horse. One week we had some friends horses in our pasture, along with our own, and they were close to fighting. It was cold outside, so I dressed in a jacket with a hood and went out into the pasture among the horses. My horse picked me up by the hood of my coat and shook me all the way to the fence, and then threw me over the fence. I did not know it at the time, but I was given a harsh lesson in love by animals for their human family members. I do remember crying for about thirty minutes though….

Some years later the Spaniel/Labrador was at the end of his life. He was arthritic, and moving even slightly was very painful for him He could no longer walk, and did not care to eat or drink water. A family discussion was held, and it was decided that I would be the one to put him down. I had to carry him from the basement to the appointed place. I remember how hard it was to see where I was walking, stumbling at times. I said what I could manage to get out, and pulled the trigger. As much as it hurt, I knew what I did had to be done for his benefit. I learned about life, and love that day – and the pain of loss.

Many more animals came and left over the years, all of them leaving me with those special lessons that only a pet can give. I am grateful for all of them, and hope there are many more pets waiting for their turn in my life.

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