A splinter Christian group made the news lately with a statement to the effect that if a child is not occasionally bruised from a spanking, the beating was not performed well enough. What a ignorant bunch of people! They are likely the same people who think a baby should be ignored at night so it can learn to be alone, while they cuddle up to their spouse in another room listening to the baby cry.
Humans are about the only animal in the world that punish their Children for silly infractions and offenses, holding them to some code of behavior set down and memorized only by the Parent.
Many Children’s punishments are meted out because the Parent is angry and the Child committed some infraction of their rules – rules that really do not matter anyway. The Child is spanked or beaten, and the Parent feels vindicated. The Parent feels they taught the Child a lesson, and the Child won’t commit the same infraction out of fear for their physical self – for a few days any way.
I have seen Animal Parents punish their offspring severely, though only in cases where the animal baby is in immediate mortal danger. The lesson is swift, and effective. I have never seen an animal punish their offspring simply for behavior modification. Animals provide direction to their offspring, Humans often Punish and we think ourselves superior to mere animals.
That is not to say I am against correcting a child, or even giving a child a swat when they are too young to reason when it centers around their physical safety, and other measures have failed. After a child reaches the age of three or four years old, and children are still getting spanked, there is an issue with the Parent’s ability to effectively parent. Unfortunately some Parents enjoy punishing their Child because that is how they were brought up. This is often cited as a reason molester’s molest; it happened to them as children. The only difference is in the action.
Ineffective, uneducated Parents often misquote a Bible verse that is not even in the Bible, “Spare the Rod and spoil the Child”. What they think they are referencing is an early King James verse in Proverbs 13:24: “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes”, as their reason for spanking or beating their child.
Notice the word spanking or beating is nowhere to be found? Ignorance also is apparent in their understanding and usage of the word ‘rod’ in the biblical verse. They easily ignore or forget the Bible Psalm 23:4, “Even though I walk through the darkest valley of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
In King David’s period the Rod and Staff had only one function, and that was one of providing comfort. A Shepard’s use a Staff and a Rod to sort and tend their flocks. Ever hear of a Shepard beating his Goats or Sheep? Of course not, that would be foolish, not to mention a way to lessen the value of ones Goat or Sheep. Damaged goods do not return the highest profits.
Animals living in fear are animals that are hard if not impossible to control. How could a Shepard control his flock if his flock feared him? The animals would cower and run, and the Shepard would be out of a job in no time.
Shepard’s used and still use their rod and staff to separate, direct, and defend their flock, not to punish them. If a Wolf or Bear came close to the flock, the rod was used to poke and stab at the predator. The rod was used with a flock to direct their movement, as was the staff, which was also used when footing was poor.
It is beyond the time for all of us to put and end to the ignorance. When I was child, a ten year old boy was thrown through a wall by his father, but he was not beaten. In school one day, a Teacher put his hand on a Boy’s shoulder. The Boy flinched in pain. The Teacher lifted his shirt and his back was covered with blue, green, and black welts. One of his Parents had beaten him with a garden hose. All those two Boys leaned from being beaten and abused was they could act that way when they had children of their own.
In some cultures around the world, Children are not forced to mind. In those cultures, Adults correctly believe a Child who modifies their behavior because they understand it is wrong, grows into a more responsible adult and better community member. Here in the United States and other countries. where we lead the world in per capita people behind bars, too many of us believe that punishing a child by spanking or another form of punishment makes for a better adult.
Perhaps it is time for Adults to learn how to become effective parents, instead of abusive parents. Punishing children to satisfy parental frustration is obviously not working, nor does punishing children creat good citizens.
As an effective parenting tool, Parents need to be role models, providing direction to their Children. This is the true meaning behind ‘sparing the rod’. Provide your Child with the direction and guidance to grow into wholesome adults. Spanking or otherwise punishing Children is unhealthy for all and leads to emotionally stunted adults who follow rules blindly out of fear of violence and abuse.
