Living And Learning How to Wait

I was looking at book descriptions on the web, looking for a book to read. Doing this started me thinking of books I thought were good reads. Richard Bach’s books are among my keepers I would have if I had to limit my library to those books that made the biggest impression on me. Among his best work, and probably the simplest read is, Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

I was not sure back then what attracted me this particular book and books like it. I found Seagull so simple, yet so profound! It was a book I gave to my own children, and close friends to read. My children were almost teenagers at the time and probably could not understand why I gave them a book about a stupid Seagull trying to fly.

It is a simply written book that can be read in no time. If you are ready to hear and understand the message, the book will be with you for your lifetime, such as it is with me. I have almost all the books Richard Bach has written. I think Bach was way ahead of his time when he wrote them. Richard Bach is in love with planes and flying, so his books all have something about flying in them. All of his books are well worth a read, if you are not afraid to explore new areas of possibility.

The gist of Jonathan Livingston Seagull is never quitting, never giving up. Never quitting is written in the book on a couple of levels, both our physical and spiritual level, so the lessons apply to all areas of life. Eventually Jonathan ascends his limitations, although he has his share of problems and nay-sayer’s along the way.

waitingI have lived through some dark times. There were times when I would wonder what is the purpose of my life, and why am I going through this? Of course now, I know the reason and the answer, so it is a simple thing to look back and say to myself, it was not that bad. But it was bad of course, some days it was a matter of getting through an hour before I could look ahead to the next hour.

The biggest hope I had going for me when things were very dark was the thought that a year from that day, things could be no worse than they were at that moment. That was not a lot of consolation on one hand. On the other side of things, it was a truth of truths. The thought things could get no worse kept me going, and helped me through each day.

One day led to the next, and each day was not a lot better than the previous day. Over time I learned to accept that was just the way it was, or so it seemed. I was stubborn and refused to learn what I needed to learn from my situation, which added to my dilemma. Eventually I came out the other side, and I knew why those books were there for me all those years ago. They helped me understand that some things just take time.

Everything in life happens on its own schedule. The schedule of other things may or may not be the same as my own schedule. It may not even be close to the way I want it to happen. It is a hard lesson to know that no matter how much you want something to happen, if it happens at all, it happens on its own time.

Learning to enjoy the moment and enjoy what is happening that moment rather than what we want to be doing, or think we should be doing is one of the best things everyone can do for themselves. After all the moment we are wanting to happen may never happen in the manner we want it to, or worse yet, not happen at all. When those moments never happen at all, we may have wasted a lot of time waiting for nothing.

As much as I appreciate Jonathan Livingston Seagull, I spent a long time learning how long Jonathan had to wait.

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Grateful for Kids running

If you read my flu post a few days ago, you know I just had my flu shot. I am still feeling a little run down, and really would rather sit around and do nothing. I know in a few days, I would feel I wasted a day when I could have done something worthwhile. I have not done much, but I did go out for a few mile afternoon walk, enjoying the fall flowers that are still out and the warmth of the sun mixed with a cool breeze today.

The park where I walk shares a property line with a middle school. As I was walking a Physical Education Coach was leading his class out for some outside activity before the weather becomes too cold. As I walked up to where he was standing, I stopped and we talked for a few minutes about the kids, differences in generations, and life in general. Sort of a quick comparison conversation of our respective generations.

The kids were supposed to be running around the mile loop as fast as they could, but of course as soon as some of them were what they considered a safe distance from the Coach, their run slowed way down. Some of them were running hard, and some had slowed their run to an ambling walk. I am grateful for seeing these kids do this today, and being able to understand why their running style applies to my life.

In my own life over the years, there have been periods when I went as fast as I could. there were times when I would be wondering why life would not move faster so I could get whatever plan I had set in motion accomplished. There were other times, such as today for example, when a slow walk would suit me just fine. I was in no hurry and there was nothing to rush for. Or really like today, I feel a little run down and slow is about as fast as I care to move.

That is one of the great things about life, as you grow older! You have a bigger base of experience from which to make comparisons with. When I received the very first flu shot that made me feel run down, I was angry that I did this to myself, and I vowed that I would never get another flu shot.

I remember a few years of going without flu shots. During one of them I actually caught a severe case of the flu. The kind of being sick where you feel like you are going to die any second, then you start wishing you would, just so you would quit aching all over? That was the flu I had that year, terrible stuff! Now days, I do not mind feeling a little run down for a day or two, because I know feeling run down for a day or so is not as bad as being in bed for a week, so sick that dying does not feel like such a terrible alternative to the aching.

Now you know what I am grateful for this week. Over the years I have gained the wisdom to know that a little inconvenience is sometimes a better choice than a lot of pain later. Also along with all that gained wisdom of dubious value, I know these situations do not only apply to flu shots.

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Changing habits, and social groups with one word

Have you ever noticed that no matter what your interests are, the people you hang around with share most of your interests too? It is likely that if you are into sports, social settings, or getting your education, most people around you are too. I think of it this way, ‘No matter where I go, there I am’. What used to surprise me is how flexible, yet at the same time rigid people around me are.

Not everyone, but almost everyone I interact with during my day is a reflection of me. If I am happy and content, most of the people I come into contact with are happy and content. If I am feeling edgy because of too much going on in my day, or I did not get enough sleep the night before, more people around me seem to be edgy or grumpy too.

This observation makes my world, and my perception of my world very fluid. Why is whatever I think and feel reflected back to me? I think it is the concept of like attracts like in action. Most people go through their day and their lives reacting. If you treat someone a certain way, they normally respond the same way to you. If I am upbeat and happy, most people try to be as upbeat and happy as they can to me. Now take out the pancake syrup, spread it on your hands, and wait until it starts getting sticky, because sometimes it does get sticky, and mucky, and just plain ugly.

I do not recommend really you try this, yet I think you would be surprised at the results if you did. Be the polar opposite of who you are for a week or more. Be your complete opposite and see what happens. You will find after a while, major changes begin to happen in your world. People that know you well will mention the changes they see in you in you, and assume it is temporary for a time. Strangers who of course do not know you, will be much quicker to react to the new you. A second change you will notice is that your world will begin to evolve to meet your new expectations. If life has been wonderful, you will notice it slowly becoming difficult, and if life has been bitter, it will slowly get happier. People and surroundings change when you do, just not at the same speed. You can not be happy and have the world against you. Nor can you be grumpy and everything is peachy.

It is the same principle with habits, and social groups. If you drop a habit, or drop out of your social group, do not expect your world and everyone in it to immediately embrace the new you. It just will not happen that quickly. Whenever you change something in your self, start something different, you can expect the world to change, mostly it changes slowly, but it will change.

This is why many experts generally recommend that you give any life changes three to five weeks to become permanent. The whole fabric of your life has to change to suit your new expectations of your life, and that does not happen over night. What do you do in the meantime, how do you get through a change when everything pulls at you to go back to where you started from?

Don’t quit, you are almost there when you actually start making a change. The word, ‘abide’ comes to my mind. It is much easier to make changes knowing that changes take time, and all you need do is wait. You simply abide, and look forward to changes in your world to catch up with you. Once you understand all you need do is abide, the world becomes a different, simpler place during times of change. All the stress, and tension of not having your old habit, or social group you knew you should not have been with in the first place is gone. It is like wrapping up in a warm blanket on a cold night. Just pull the blanket around you closer, snuggle, and wait for your life changes to complete.

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