Tag Archives: perfection

On being perfect

Posted on by

When I was in my late teens I was very much into God. I wanted to become exactly what God wanted me to become. Hedging my bets, I used to ask for proof. Proof would show up. I would ask for more proof, and more proof would happen.

Then one day I realized that no matter how much proof I asked for, and how many times in a row that proof would be given, proof made no real difference.

Trying to become something I was not did not make me a better person. I wasn’t any more popular. I never had a change of opinion on any subject that mattered. I realized little by little that asking for proof was like arguing with the wind. I could make a lot of noise arguing with the wind, but the wind would never care.

So it is with trying to become what I was not. Change did not make me perfect no matter how much proof there is to support my belief. Change did not really make my life better. Change did not really change anything that was important.

So it was with trying to be perfect. I chose to live the life I was living instead of the life I thought I should be living. I found that all trying to live the perfect life did for me was make me feel guilty.

I felt guilty about so much some days. I would feel guilty about how I felt about all the women I saw each day. I would feel guilty about wanting more in my life. I would feel guilty for not being satisfied with the way I looked. I would find myself feeling guilty for feeling guilty when I had so much and everyone else had so little. I started feeling like an pious fake, and that would make me feel guilty too.

Over the years I realized it is a study in futility to try to change me into something that may be more perfect for what I believe.

I am what I am, and that is enough. I am a perfect me in fact! Whether I am the picture perfect idea of what my belief system thinks I should be, or something less, I am what I am. What I am is the perfect me with my own uniquely perfect faults and flaws.

Competing with an ideal is a competition I could never win. God, and no one else should ever expect me to be different than what I am. If it was necessary for me to be someone else I would not be here to begin with. Someone else would be here, or I would be different. If I were indeed different what would be the point of being the original me to start with?

When I am gone from here…if I find out I am wrong about all this, I will have to cry foul. Nothing of such magnitude such as God – and I do not pretend to comprehend even imagine a sliver of the whole of God – would create or allow me to be created only to be changed into someone else. What would be the point?

But of course, this may be higher level spiritual thinking, or fooling myself, believing everything is perfect as it is?

Hmmm….or maybe Ommmm.

Share

Perfect is an evil lie! You can only be the perfect you

Posted on by

We think we are not good enough. We berate ourselves because we do not meet some ideal in our lives that nobody on earth could ever live up to. On a daily basis we take out our flagellation device of choice and start beating ourselves. We will never meet that impossible goal we think we have set for ourselves.

We continue to whip, and beat ourselves day after day, year after year. What makes it worse is even though we try to be silent, we wear our dissatisfaction with ourselves like a neon sign in Times Square at night. It reads, “I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH.” It flashes, it scrolls, it changes colors, and it is perverted! It needs to stop today!

I wish they were here in front of me right now. I would clench my fist, pull back my arm, and smash their face flat! Who do they think they are to take you, and put these twisted, sick ideas in your head that you are not good enough? It isn’t enough that they choose not to escape the private hell they live in, and see that they are good enough? They had to get you alone, believing in them completely, so they could warp you with their sick, perverted thinking.

The most ironic thing is we did not even know there were standards to meet until they told us there were. We did not know we were not good enough until they told us we were not. Someone somewhere along the line – someone (thing) that we trusted with all our being, found a way to make us believe that we are something less than we should be. We are something less than perfect, and that’s all we ever will be, and it is okay.

I try to have pity for these people, but I can not. They are a walking pit of hate and loathing. They are walking viruses waiting to infect you when you are young, or vulnerable, or both. They wheedle their way into your life and they leave you in shambles, thinking you have to meet some impossible ideal before you are good enough. Then when you can’t become what they have you believing you should, you turn on yourself. You start cannibalizing yourself because you can not become something you were never meant to be in the first place.

Because they had enough time to work their sick intentions in you, they leave you living in your own private hell of a paradox. They did this because they weren’t happy living in their own twisted vile world of never being good enough. They had to take someone innocent and perfect like you and twist you. They are sick enough to believe they will never be good enough, and now they made sure you will suffer with them too. You do not want to pass this sickness on to others, it needs to stop now!

I have some good news for you though. You are good enough! You always have been good enough, and now you are better. You are perfect just as you are. How do I know this? I know this because you try daily to not only be perfect, but to be more perfect than anyone I ever met, or read about, and no one is that perfect! But you keep trying….

You are good enough, and do not let anyone tell you otherwise! If you were meant to be perfect, we would have known. The sky would have opened, and there would have been many, many announcements, the whole world would have heard. But that did not happen.

You were born to be you, nothing better, and nothing worse. You are the perfect you. Start celebrating you, and demand that vile slime thinking leave your life. It lives to feed off of your misery and shame – do not let it! Perfection is in a photograph, or someone’s mind, it does not exist. We are not anyones perfect, and we never will be. But we are the perfect us, and that is as close to perfection as we will ever find in our life. Let the perfect you be free!

Share

Pretending to be perfect – don’t look too close

Posted on by

I like to start my work day extra early, so I have time to get on the net, check my email, and a few web sites I enjoy reading before work. There was not much in my email today, but the very first web site I went to was filled with new posts by unhappy people. So was the second web site.

Later, I am eating breakfast at a coffee shop, listening to someone sharing their most recent life tragedy with another person at their table. Okay, I am starting see a pattern already. At lunch I am sharing how I sometimes feel like a traveler in my own life, as I am in uncharted waters myself, and have been for many years. I never felt I had anyone to show me how to be an adult. In the past, others have mentioned that at times they have nothing to draw from in their adult life either, in some situations.

I imagine there are a lot of us who feel we do not know how to correctly manage some of the roles that make up our life. We simply invent as we go, depending on how we think we should behave or act. I remember as a young man, wondering what happened to the older adults around me? Some of the older adults seemed to be missing parts of their personalities. It seemed that most of their personality matured, but a few parts were either non existent, or immature at best. I was certainly glad I was complete, and I had no flaws or gaps in me!

Now I am here to say my rose colored glasses were pretty rosy indeed. I know now there are areas of me that are not all that. Gosh, I am human just like everyone else around me, when did that happen? The things we learn about ourselves when we have time. I imagine everyone has parts of them where they feel like they are making it up as they go.

Knowing this, I want you to know, when you feel like you are not ‘enough’ in any area of your life, no matter what that may be, whether you can tell or not, many of the people around you are just as lost as you are! Now that you and I know this, hopefully some other people have figured it out too.

If they have not figured it out, they don’t want to tell you. It may be something you are very good at. Letting you see they have flaws might make them appear less than whole to you, and they do not want that to happen. You should not be afraid to mention that you are blazing a new trail if you are unsure how you should act in a situation or role in your life. If you let others know you have little or no expertise, one of a few things is likely to happen, and none of them bad.

  • Others may admit they are unsure too, but offer to join in and help you.
  • Others understand because they were once lost too, and it is okay with them that you are a little lost.
  • Finally, they may be very comfortable in this area, so they will be happy to offer you advice and to help you.

All you have to do is mention you are a little unsure, and be open to accepting help. Once you do that people will be happy to offer to help you.Of course when you do this, you are showing the world you are not perfect. That is okay, because now you know most of us are not perfect. We only try and pretend we are, when we are in public. You now know better, and have nothing to be embarrassed about. You can start doing your part in making the world a better place, one situation at a time.

If you ask for help, you will find there is a lot more caring and satisfaction in the world than you thought there was. You will also make our world a better place to be in. Let me thank you in advance for being so generous with yourself, and taking the time to help me learn too!

Share