Stubborn about life precepts, concepts, and truths

Posted on January 4, 2008 by venagozar

Family and friends at one time or another have told me in various ways, that I am one of the most stubborn people they have ever met. They have used some descriptive words like arrogant, condescending, and well, you get the idea. One coworker once said I was a bulldozer, because I bulldoze over anyones ideas or thoughts that I did not agree with.

I have been told in times of anger and frustration that in my world, no one’s opinion matters except mine. I have been told I also know it all too. A doctor I saw once that performed a day surgery for me, mentioned I had skin as thick as a horse. I imagine that is quite fitting.

My conclusion after completing what some may think is a fairly lengthy introspection of myself, my thoughts, and beliefs is they are correct. I am usually guilty of all charges. Yes, I am a culmination of all those adjectives people have used to describe me. I choose not to be a grammar expert, so adjective may not be the correct word.

There is a test given to people, to help the individual, teacher, or instructor identify an individual’s primary learning style. The test is simple though what is does is amazing. We have four basic learning modes we like to use.

The first learning behavior is someone who wants to do first, and learn later.

The second learning behavior is someone who prefers to learn as they go

The third learning behavior is someone who wants to know much more than the task, they want to know why the universe was created, and how it applies.

The fourth learning mode, and the one I was enmeshed in is a reflector. People who are reflectors do not want to do anything until they have thoroughly absorbed every part of the learning and how it fits in with everything they already know. You have shown them, told them, or demonstrated something so many times, you are sick of it. Fwiw, if you read yesterdays blog entry, you now know why I was hung up on math….

I was a statistical flyer in this learning style, out there past the standard three sigma range. How this learning style applies to what people think of me at times is interesting. It also makes me a human blender of ideas and thoughts. I later became a trainer which brought me close to the statistical center over time.

The ‘frustration’ people have with me, is I can not read, hear, or experience something, and take it as truth. I compare it with everything similar that I know already. This compare and blend process may take anywhere from a few seconds to a few days. When I am done, I know without any doubt at all whether I agree, disagree, why something is right, or wrong, and how far away from correct an idea is.

For example, if I read or hear somewhere about some human attribute being less than acceptable, it goes into my whole brain database of knowledge, and is compared to what I know already. If it does not agree with every other source that is in agreement, well then it is simply not correct. Not a bad trait, but I do it with most things.

Once it is faulty, it is faulty – this is where people mention to me I have a problem. Some people however can not accept that what they choose to believe (choose being a keyword) is not correct. For some people to be correct, almost every thinker in human history has to be wrong. I can not imagine for a second that the greatest thinkers on earth are wrong, and one little printed thought is correct.

World religion is a good example. Major beliefs, and religions share many fundamental precepts. Be good, and love one another is a precept all major beliefs share without exception.

When concepts deviate beyond what is shared in other major religions, it is possibly tainted thought injection, and should be treated as such. That does not make it immediately wrong, it does make it suspect and needing more looking into and thinking about.

Reading fortunes or reading victims?

Posted on December 7, 2007 by venagozar

I was at a county fair in an out of the way county. I was with some friends, and we had swung the mallet, won some trinkets, had a corn dog, the usual. We were getting ready to leave and walking to the end of the midway when I spotted a sign for a fortune teller. I had always been fascinated by fortune tellers but never put much stock in them. I thought it was some gimmick as no one could tell the future could they?

The woman who was the fortune teller came out and said she only charged five dollars. At that time five dollars was almost an hours work. I told her it was too steep of a price for me, but I would appreciate anything she would tell me. She took me aside to the door of her little tent. There was nothing special about the tent, only a little table in the middle with a table cloth/shawl thrown over it, and a small candle in the center.

She did not do anything special, she did not even ask me to go in, or sit down. She did not look at my palm, or stare into my eyes, or anything of the sort. She said to me, “Your father died two years ago, in November.” I almost fell over! How could she possibly know this about me? I had never seen her before, nor did I think she really could read fortunes. She made a believer out of me just like that! looked in my wallet and I took out half the money I had in it, five dollars, and handed it to her.

I told her I did not need any more of my fortune told, but I would like to ask her a few questions. She agreed to answer some questions instead of telling more about myself. I no longer remember the conversation, but she did tell me a few other things about myself. She said she was not able to read anyone’s future as they had not made it yet, but she knew of some fortune tellers that could. She followed that up reading the future was tricky, because the future was fluid and had not happened yet. She told me a few other things about reading fortunes too.

She told me to know more would cost me another five dollars. I told her I would love to know more, but as five dollars was all the money I had for the next few days, I could not afford to spend any more. I thanked her for what she shared with me, and I said I hoped her future was a good one, and she did the same for me.

On another topic, we humans tend to use pattern recognition to make sense of our lives. Savvy marketers understand this, and create products that fit a pattern that may or may not be obvious to us. After they gain our trust, they speak a few key sentences, and we see a pattern unfold just like they want us to see it.

The Bible’s chapter of revelations is a good example. No matter what period in time, or where you live, and what access you have to news, the description of the beginning of the end of the world is obvious when you read the book of revelations. It is the same with Indigo children. The pattern was written down over a century ago, and every other generation sees the pattern and think they discovered something new or the time has arrived. Newspaper, book, and gum-ball machine astrology rolls, and fortune cookies are the same thing. They are general enough to fit almost any pattern, and personality. On the criminal side of fortunes, confidence men do this to separate the gullible from their money.

I suppose there is no real way to tell what is real from what is not, but when money is involved in the process it is time to start being curious about someone’s real abilities. Are they who they say they are, and can do what they are telling you, or are they professionals at parting you from your money?

Now that that is out of the way, let me predict your future, heal your spirit, or cast a spell for you….

Inventing the worlds best mouse trap – part 2

Posted on December 5, 2007 by venagozar

I had invented a product that would absolutely keep peoples televisions, microwaves, and stereo components from being stolen and resold, no one wanted it? I could not believe what I was reading whenever a new piece of mail came with a no interest reply! How could a company not want something that would make life better, and stolen electronics worthless?

So I thought, well this idea will make peoples homes safer because it will reduce home robberies. Insurance companies will get excited about this idea, because they want safety in the world, so I started writing them. They were not falling over themselves in eagerness to buy up my idea so their clients could have a better, safer life! What gives, this is a great idea, people will be safer, and millions of dollars in claims won’t have to be paid out? I was at a loss to understand this dilemma. More importantly, where were my [now] million dollars, from this great idea?

Finally it dawned on me. If my idea stopped theft of home electronics products such as televisions, microwaves, computers, and stereos, the manufacturing of these products would slow down because there would be far less demand for replacements. Manufacturing companies were in business to make more of their product, not less.

Insurance companies were in business to make money from burglary and theft, not actually prevent it. With less theft there would be less need for insurance. Insurance company profits would drop.

The crime rate would drop due to less theft, so police departments, jails, and prisons would not need as many people working. A big portion of the regular, and underground economy would dry up because in a few years there would be no person, or place to sell non working stolen electronics items to. No one would be needed to track down burglars, and thieves. A whole sector of the economy would be put out of work.

What a stupid idea I had! What was wrong with me thinking that making the world a safer place, and preventing theft would be a benefit to society? Here I was one person trying to destroy an economy that took centuries to perfect! Thousands, if not tens of thousands of people would be without work, and income. No wonder no one was interested in my idea. I was suggesting they all commit fiscal suicide by building something that rarely needed replacement. Only replacement for worthwhile upgrades, and innovation.

There is a lesson here, just not a good one. Perhaps I can build a better mouse trap, it just better not be made so well, all the mice are caught! If I have another great idea, I am going to make sure it is packed with glitz and glamour, but does little for the consumer except part them from their money. It will be a huge success in the stores across the country, maybe even the world! I just need to think of it.

Inventing the worlds best mouse trap – part 1

Posted on December 4, 2007 by venagozar

Ever think you have that big idea? The one that is going to make you rich to the point you will be ashamed to tell people how wealthy you are? So much money you will become bored traveling all the time? I thought I had one of those ideas once. It popped into my head out to the blue, like most ideas do, good or not. The more I thought about it, the more excited I became. After a few days, it was getting hard to go sleep at night thinking about the simplicity, and profit potential of my idea. I could not believe someone had not thought of this before. I was going to be rich!

I set to work, finding out how ideas are put on paper, what format was needed, and how much detail I needed to go into. It was a cheap to make, simple idea, so I knocked out about eight typed pages, with a page or two of drawings supporting my idea. Every time I retyped out my paper I would be thinking about how rich I was going to be. This was so much fun! Every day the money I was going to make grew by another thousand dollars.

Finally it was complete. Now the only question was what mega company was I going to share my idea with? Which company was big enough to make it work, able to corner the market before the knock off products started showing up? That decision took the better part of a week. Then I found out I had to create a non interest letter for the company I was going to send my idea to. The way I understood it, it was a letter that generally states that I have an idea, but I am not really interested in it. I think your company might not be interested in it enough for you to request that I send you what I have on paper. Then your not interested design and production staff may evaluate my idea before you decide you may be interested enough to pay me some money for my idea. So far so good? Yep? Okay, off to the bidding wars.

So I sent off my idea to a multinational corporation. Then I sat back and waited. A week went by, then two, three, four weeks, and nothing! On the sixth week, I received a reply from the company addressed to occupant or something else pulled out of the dictionary of non-interest.

Wow, this is going to be good, they are really interested! Dollar signs are rolling through my head by now. Well, they made it clear that they really weren’t interested, and did not appreciate my suggesting they were interested. The second sentence of the letter stated they very annoyed that I contacted them to start with. A third sentence did not exist.

Well, what do I know, they are probably too big of a company to start with. I tried more companies, and they weren’t interested either. All the companies I wrote were only interested in selling more of their products, not taking on new products that would take major manufacturing changes to produce.

Part two tomorrow….

Ziggy’s choice

Posted on November 26, 2007 by venagozar

Ziggy and I worked together in a large hotel restaurant. He was a few years older than I was, but he was much younger than the other two people we worked with, so that made us friends by default. Ziggy was a newlywed being married less than two years. I was a newlywed also, so that gave us something in common. We also had baby girls, although his baby was a few months younger than mine. Ziggy lived for his little girl, and she was his world, even his wife took second seat to his daughter.

We worked and laughed and got the job done the best we could each day. Some days were fun and some days were work, but between all of us we did our best, and our customers were happy. One of the best parts of the job for me was the lunch time menu. There was always a lunch special. When I was not the grill cook for the day, I could decide and make whatever the special was for that day. We would try to be be creative, and make enough to feed between thirty and forty people which seemed to be the most lunch specials we would sell in a day.

Ziggy started having headaches that would not go away. Then he started losing his balance at times. It became serious, so he went to the doctor to see what was wrong, and how it could be made better. A week went by while Ziggy waited for his tests to come back. I was starting to notice that he was not doing so well. He would forget what he was doing or have to sit down because he was too dizzy to stand.

The doctors said Ziggy had a brain tumor. It was deep inside his brain and it was growing fast. The doctors said if they operated, Ziggy had less than a five percent chance of waking up. There was radiation, although it would not cure Ziggy. At best it would slow down the growth of the tumor and hopefully extend his life a few more months.

To Ziggy, extending his life a few months meant a few more months with his new wife and daughter. He never gave it a second thought, but started the treatment as soon as he could. The first week or so Ziggy was sick, but he managed to come to work. He was not as fast on his feet as he had been. We all helped by working harder, and we finished the work as a group. By the third week Ziggy was not able to work at all.

Ziggy made it about seven months before the cancer took him. In his last lucid days, he said that if he could do it over, he [Ziggy] would have skipped the radiation, and settled for a few good months with his wife and daughter, instead of several months of being too ill to enjoy his wife and baby girl. I thought it was very sad as they lay Ziggy to rest, his last thoughts were he was cheated out of some quality time with his family.

As time marched on, other family members, and friends died of this or that. It is always a sad state watching someone die slowly of something terminal. The only advantage of a slow death, is there is plenty of time to speak with everyone you wish to speak with. You have the privilege of letting them know whatever you may wish to tell them. There is also time to get yourself in order. Taking care of your affairs as much as you can and giving those things you can to friends and family. I learned a lot from Ziggy’s illness and death, as Ziggy died well, if someone’s death is thought to be possibly called dying well.

I do not really know how Ziggy lived his life before his cancer, but I know how he did afterwards. He took every word, gesture, and thought seriously, because the time he spent with someone may have been his last. He became someone who did not play relationship games with others. He had many paths to follow, but he took the high road in his final days. I realized just a few years ago that Ziggy taught me that there are better ways to live than most of us choose to follow. It is just to bad Ziggy had to leave this world to teach me this.

Grateful for Kids running

Posted on November 8, 2007 by venagozar

If you read my flu post a few days ago, you know I just had my flu shot. I am still feeling a little run down, and really would rather sit around and do nothing. I know in a few days, I would feel I wasted a day when I could have done something worthwhile. I have not done much, but I did go out for a few mile afternoon walk, enjoying the fall flowers that are still out and the warmth of the sun mixed with a cool breeze today.

The park where I walk shares a property line with a middle school. As I was walking a Physical Education Coach was leading his class out for some outside activity before the weather becomes too cold. As I walked up to where he was standing, I stopped and we talked for a few minutes about the kids, differences in generations, and life in general. Sort of a quick comparison conversation of our respective generations.

The kids were supposed to be running around the mile loop as fast as they could, but of course as soon as some of them were what they considered a safe distance from the Coach, their run slowed way down. Some of them were running hard, and some had slowed their run to an ambling walk. I am grateful for seeing these kids do this today, and being able to understand why their running style applies to my life.

In my own life over the years, there have been periods when I went as fast as I could. there were times when I would be wondering why life would not move faster so I could get whatever plan I had set in motion accomplished. There were other times, such as today for example, when a slow walk would suit me just fine. I was in no hurry and there was nothing to rush for. Or really like today, I feel a little run down and slow is about as fast as I care to move.

That is one of the great things about life, as you grow older! You have a bigger base of experience from which to make comparisons with. When I received the very first flu shot that made me feel run down, I was angry that I did this to myself, and I vowed that I would never get another flu shot.

I remember a few years of going without flu shots. During one of them I actually caught a severe case of the flu. The kind of being sick where you feel like you are going to die any second, then you start wishing you would, just so you would quit aching all over? That was the flu I had that year, terrible stuff! Now days, I do not mind feeling a little run down for a day or two, because I know feeling run down for a day or so is not as bad as being in bed for a week, so sick that dying does not feel like such a terrible alternative to the aching.

Now you know what I am grateful for this week. Over the years I have gained the wisdom to know that a little inconvenience is sometimes a better choice than a lot of pain later. Also along with all that gained wisdom of dubious value, I know these situations do not only apply to flu shots.

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