Real Life and What You Don’t See

I wish I had something informative to write on this day that most people would find useful and be able to immediately put to use in their life. I do not for this post. What I have is information that you may not want to read. Information better left to others and other places and times. Today, this is something I am thinking about, and I think everyone should think about it too if they profess some concept of good verses evil or right verses wrong balance in the world.

I was watching a movie the other day, “Fallen“, about a demon and a Police Officer. Since then this dilemma thought has been nagging at me. Someone you know or come in contact with on a frequent basis is being deceived and tormented by what we have named Demons. What they really are, we really do not know. What their purpose really is we do not know either. But they exist, as surely as you and I exist.

I always receive affirmations they exist when I write a post such as this one. My typing becomes riddled with more than the usual mistakes, and almost every sentence has either misspellings or a grammatical errors on a higher level than my usual than my usual grade school level grammar. I do not like writing about this topic. I would rather write about something fun, and enjoyable. Those beings we named Demons would prefer I type out a nice post about the wonders of hot dog casserole, planting bulbs in the garden, or some other happy silly subject.

Some subjects prefer to be left unsaid and unwritten. They prefer an out of sight, out of mind existence. If no one thinks about them or discusses them, they have free reign to do what they want, whatever that is. I am not, some crazed Thumper who can’t take their focus off the worst life has to offer, and the eternity that follows. In the circle my life is on, I have seen the best and worst of life. I know my life circle is not too much different than yours.

What brought me to write about his is I know someone who’s whole life has been twisted warped by what we call a demon. Their focus, their day, their reason for existence has been twisted into something any normal person would never want to see. For this person, their whole waking day, day after day, is looking and waiting for something horrible beyond imagination, and they want it to happen.

Whether there is only one demon, or their is the unnamed horde of demons running this person’s life, is really not important. The situation is, this is happening to someone I know, and it is probably happening to someone you know too.

It started I am sure, with the most worthy intentions. Over time, those most worthy of intentions have been slanted, restructured, and refocused. To state it simply, over a long period of time, one persons focus has changed from wholesome and honorable to something less. Skipping over the detestable interim they believe there is goodness at the end of it all. How long the transition lasts is another matter, another way of measuring what we refer to as time.

I have seen people like this before, as you have too, if you choose to remember. In a split second their visage changes, and they do something wrong, totally out of character. Once the deed is done, their expression changes back instantly. I have never asked, but I always wonder when it happens. I want to ask, do you know what you just did or tried to do? Did you mean to do that?

A very cautious driver looks you in the eye and swerves into your lane, runs a stop sign or red light, or cuts you off. Someone says something cutting, or breaks something. Someone says something distasteful, who normally would never utter the like. People commit these totally irrational acts, and are nonplussed over them. I have to wonder if they realize what happened, and did they do it, or did they lose control for an instant, and the act was done by something else?

I do not want turn this into a scary tale about the Bogey Man, or make you think your soul is in jeopardy. I do wonder however if you are aware of the occasional odd happenings around you? People doing something out of character, saying or doing something that is not like them. In one instant, are you aware of them and how they look. It happens so fast, I think most people, including the people who are the doers do not even notice.

Noticing takes awareness. It takes knowing that what you think you are seeing, the everyday things that happen during your day which you think you see, may not really be what is going on. Knowing that not everything is an accident. Life can becomes so trivial, so mundane that we see what we expect to see and nothing else. We do not see as the movie, ‘Men in Black’ portray during a scene of what passes for late night characters in a big city. We see what we expect to see.

As you go through your day watch your world unfold with new eyes. Pretend everything you see, from being stuck in traffic, to conversation, to how people act, and then it changes. It changes so quickly, if you were not looking for it, you do not see it. You will be surprised over what is really happening when you really look. It may scare you, the extent happenings you never noticed until you look for them. People willfully trying to do harm, and in an instant, it is over, as if it never happened.

Whatever they are, whether we choose to call them Demons,  or give them another name, they are all around us. They are always looking for someone new to get close to and maybe into. They are looking for someone new, someone like you or I. Someone to change and torment.

Don’t expect the Bogey man to jump out of a dark corner at you. Don’t expect an attack from some winged creature as you are wait for the bus,  or someone hiding by your car on a dark night. Don’t expect your bed to start shaking as you try to sleep. For the most part, those are stories and ideas meant to scare the already scared. Instead, look for things happening that are much more subtle, things that happen instantly, and then are gone. as if they never happened.

Be aware. Be aware of your thoughts and actions. Make sure the thoughts you have are your thoughts, and not injected thoughts you normally would never think. Be aware of the sudden impulsive urge to do something you would never normally do. We live a life measured in decades. Demons or whatever you choose to call them seem to have all the time in the world, and at times, patience to match.

You are the owner of your house, and no one else has access to it unless it is okay with you. Saying no, and meaning it, and demanding ‘It’ get away from you is all that is needed to protect you. Steeling yourself, and wrapping yourself in prayer does not hurt, if you feel the need. Anything else is added drama that has no real effect other than entertainment value, though you are providing the entertainment, not watching and enjoying the drama.

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Life, movies, and being scared

When I was a late teenager, I took my Grandmother to see a movie. Not just any old movie because I did not think a lot of the movies out at that time would appeal to her. I took her to see the original Exorcist. I had read the book over the spring and summer, and it caused a few nights when I could not sleep well thinking about the ramifications of that book. When the movie came out those thoughts started all over again. For me there is only one way to get over things like this. Go meet whatever is bothering me and come to terms with it.

Taking my Grandmother to a movie came about because I was at my Grandmother’s house for dinner on a Sunday afternoon. I mentioned the movie was out. My Grandmother was an almost daily church goer, gave her thanks for each meal, said her prayers waking up in the morning, and before going to sleep at night. I was expecting any reaction except an agreement that she would not mind going to see the movie. So we decided to go either following weekend night when I had a day off.

We are seated in the theater and I am already uncomfortable because my imagination is vivid enough, and I knew the movie would fill in any empty spaces that my mind had failed to paint for me. My Grandmother on the other hand sat perfectly poised just like she was sitting at her own kitchen table. I won’t go through the whole movie, that is not my point, so fast forward to where it starts getting scary. Your participation is needed here to think of a place in the movie where you start feeling as if you are taken from your comfort zone. And then you hear your Grandmother sitting in the dark next to you laughing while watching the movie. I came back to reality, and looked around the theater and I was not alone, everyone I could see in the projectors light had a look of both suspense and a small amount of discomfort except my Grandmother! You would have thought she was watching a comedy!

She was an Irish woman, and not much in this world rattled her, but this was something I never expected! Having my Grandmother laughing out loud in the scariest parts of a movie about possession was almost as unsettling as the movie itself! I thought she may have had a stroke or something else happened to her after the lights went out. There were a few times in the move when other people looked at her wondering what this little gray haired lady found to laugh about. I was sure there was a medical emergency, even though I could not detect anything wrong with her. Then the movie ended. Most of us were scared to look at each other while we were leaving the theater. We had come as close to supernatural evil as we cared to for one night and we did not want to see frost coming out of someone’s mouth or their head spin on their shoulders.

I asked my Grandmother what she found funny about that movie, as it had once again managed to terrify me with the over sized full color imagery and movie quality sound track. My Grandmother told me that this movie did not begin to match what she had seen and experienced in her life, and they would have to do better than that to scare her. I really was not up to asking her what she could have seen in her life that was scarier than that. I drove her back to her house, and she made us all a cup of tea and put out some cookies. I drank my tea, and ate my cookies as we talked about the more mundane things in our world. I remember thinking besides how was I going to sleep that night, that some things are better left alone out of sight. It was not for a couple of years that I really wanted to hear about what she had seen or experienced that made the Exorcist so funny.

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