Racism or Distancing, Post MLK Day 2010

During a wide ranging conversation some days back with a few white friends spurred by our past Martin Luther King Holiday, an interesting comment was made. When we were talking about the Civil Rights Movement here in the United States, and the time that has since passed, one person thought that some minority groups still believe they are inferior.

I thought that was a funny observation, but after the conversation ran its course, I understood how and why the comment was formed. It is possible many who feel this way will take those beliefs feelings to their graves. We can make speeches, conduct marches, hold rallies, and pass laws. What we can not do is change the mindset of people most affected by these limiting beliefs.

It is my understanding that Share Cropping was ‘created’ when it became obvious that newly freed slaves were not emotionally or financially equipped to leave their old lives behind and go out into a mostly foreign world and create new lives. Newly freed Americans who knew little or nothing of life as independent persons. People who could go anywhere and do anything, did what most of us would do in the same situation. They reached out for the closest life to life before emancipation. It was a bad choice with little chance of success, but it was comfortable.

For any people having family members who were once not free to make their own choices about their lives, is a hard to understand those choices. For some people whose forbearers lived in those circumstances, life today is not too far removed from those times in their minds eye. Some of the older people alive today have almost firsthand knowledge of what life was like in those days. They were raised with limiting thoughts and feelings around them each and every moment. They were or are people not to likely to change their thinking.

Some more recent peoples coming to the United States feel as if they are shut out of main stream culture for other reasons. They may feel others think they are not ‘American’ enough by the standards of those around them. Some over compensate by going overboard on American culture. Others live deep within their old culture, or whatever adaptations of it exist around them in the United States. Others do their best to become part of American Mainstream as best they can.

Living apart from what some non-white Americans perceive as American Mainstream Culture, from my perspective is their view of American Mainstream culture does not exist anywhere other than the eyes of the beholder. American Mainstream, sometimes thought of as  ‘White Culture’ as some view it, is no more a cohesive group than people living above the Arctic circle with those living in the Amazon Rain Forests. Religion, perception, politics, nationality, and economics continue to fracture and reinvent the American Mainstream.

Not being outside of the ‘American Mainstream’, I can only give my impression of what it is like on the inside. I believe there is not much difference between being inside the American Mainstream and looking in at American Mainstream from a perceived outside view. Imagine living in New York, or any densely populated city with most of the population living somewhere between self sufficient and wealthy. Whatever city picked must have mass transportation as the major form of commute. Now place yourself in that population going and coming from work, shopping, and generally living in that city.

People appear to be insensitive, blunt, rude, all socially derogative behaviors one sees in a large city. That to me is a snapshot view of the American Mainstream. If you feel you are not part of the Mainstream, you probably are. If you feel like people ignore you, they probably do. If you feel that people are willing to take advantage of you, they probably do. Everything anyone considers roadblocks to joining ‘Mainstream America’ and their trying to be a part of it is likely true. Welcome to Mainstream America, you are likely experiencing life in the primordial plasma of the American Dream.

If you want to change Mainstream America, you have to get off the sidelines and join in. You can help shape the culture, thinking, and mannerisms of your community. You have to be willing to give of yourself for that to happen though. Programs all over your community need your help, and not just your money. If you don’t jump in make changes, don’t expect for change to happen. Join in and be an active part of the American Mainstream.

Racism, anti social behavior, and me…

Walking towards the exit of a paid membership warehouse/store, one elderly women appeared from the sidelines to take a place in front of me. There was not much of a line, and there were two people checking receipts. One of the people checking receipts was white, and the other was not. The elderly woman, stopped behind the only customer being checked out by the white receipt checker. The other receipt checker stood waiting. As I walked up, I said to the woman, “The other man is not busy and you can be checked by him.” She told me in a rather severe tone, “I prefer to wait….”

Seated at the poker table a few days ago, a young man wearing a t-shirt with a sign printed on the front of it. The message on the t-shirt said something to the effect of, ‘Anything you say or try to tell me is wrong, and will be ignored’.

The elderly woman is hopefully a relic left over from a time I am happy we are leaving behind. The saying on the shirt is quite a social stigma the young man should be trying hard to change, or work on. If anyone took offense to the young man’s shirt, it was nothing compared to the handicap the young man places on himself by wearing it.

I find the polyester pants, and shirts worn by some old men quite amusing. My wife finds my choice of semi wrinkled shirts, and pants that are too big for me, but still in good condition, terrible to be out in public in. I do not care for the overpowering bug spray perfume some elderly women choose to bathe in before going out into public. Many older people find the droopy, baggy pants and tattoos sported by the younger crowd disturbing.

We all have our own collections of personal likes and dislikes. Most of our likes and dislikes are harmless, and baseless. Our like and dislikes really make no difference to anyone but us. If someone chooses to wear fall colors in the springtime, wear black every day, or eat spumoni ice cream, it really only matters to us when we see it.

When someone publicly holds a view that judges the worth of a person on something superficial, that is a concern. It is a problem for them, and for the people they are judging. The woman for example…she has no idea who made and prepared the items she purchased. I am sure the thought never even occurred to her about who made them, or who raised, picked, or processed the food in her cart. She was overly concerned about who was going to check her out. So concerned in fact, she chose to inconvenience herself.

In social situations such as a poker room, contacts are made, friendships are formed, and jobs or business opportunities are occasionally offered. That will never happen to the young man whether or not he is wearing his socially limiting t-shirt. He will never be befriended or offered anything by anyone in a position to help him because he chooses to be overtly anti social.

The elderly woman revealed a distasteful social aspect that would not let me stop and help her pick up her things if she dropped them. The young man was told by another player they recognized a particularly destructive personality type in him. I have the idea that both the elderly woman and the young man have a lot in common. One person is old and bitter with the world and the other is becoming more bitter every day.

The young man has a chance to change, although it is probably too late for the elderly woman. I would prefer they both change their thinking – for their own selfish interests, and mine.