“Hi, long time no see, how are you?I am wonderful, how about you, are you still…?

Yes, and I love it, it has been so much fun. How is married life, are you still a happy newlywed? Yes for the most part, he’s home sick right now.Oh, I hope it is not too serious?

He’s been sick for about four days now. Of course he was perfectly fine for Boy’s night out, before he became ill. All he has been doing is lying around whining. He wants me to get him this, then he wants me to get him that. He thinks I should be heating soup for him, and buying him orange soda. Then he thinks I should be getting his cold pills and aspirin, and such. You would think he wants me to be his mother the way he is carrying on!

He wants a lot of attention when he is sick?

Well this is the first time he either of us has been sick, but it looks like he does. I didn’t marry him to treat him like a baby when he gets sick, that is not my job.”

About this point in their conversation I wanted to turn and tell the newlywed woman she better start looking for a marriage counselor, or a divorce lawyer because one or the other was looming on the horizon.Then reality got me, and I remembered I was not part of the conversation taking place.I was rather shocked by this woman’s attitude though as she was not in the seventeen to twenty-five year old range, and had to have been married before, or at least been dating for over a decade.

I thought she was way out of line, and very self centered. Then I started wondering what was he like? That led me to wonder what there marriage was based on. What she thinks their marriage is based on, if anything would explain her behavior, and her feeling imposed on to make the effort to take care of her husband when he is ill.All marriage is not all based on love.

Some marriages are not based on much of anything, or as little as she is hot, and he is all that. Other marriages happen for varying reasons; some are for money, convenience, tax purposes, and many other different reasons. Then there are the marriages based on caring, love, and respect for each other. This marriage did not sound like a marriage based on love. If it was based on love, it was what used to be called, ‘puppy love’. That is the kind young preteen and early teen boys and girls have for each other. They are in love with the idea of love, but really have no clue what love is all about.

I wondered if this couple had even talked about why they were getting married, and what their expectations were of one another? It did not sound like they had any sort of discussion, or really even knew one another. If they had talked about their married future, and decided they knew one another, they lied badly to each other, and to themselves.

Here they are newlyweds, and the first time one of them is ill and they have differing expectations of what each others roles are. I wonder what they know of each others feelings about children, money, vacations, weekends, and family weekend visits. After you are married is the wrong time to find out how your partner feels about the little things that comprise married life.