When I was a toddler just out of diapers we lived in the country. There is always a lot to explore for a small child, as everything is new and exciting. There was the foot wide ditch the kitchen sink emptied into, there were the bugs that lived under pieces of board left on the ground, there were ant hills, and there spiders and other interesting bugs. There was also the garbage pile, which I am sure my parents would have rather I did not discover.
Being just out of diapers with so much to explore and do, body functions would tend to get away from me. Children that young do not know the concept of lying but I was on my way to learning in my own way. I would be so busy exploring or playing the fact I had to take a crap right now would be in the back of my mind as I danced around trying to not think about it. Suddenly it would be too late, and it was coming out and I was not on the toilet.
As an enterprising little boy who was starting to learn the art of lying, I started blaming my accidents on my dog. I would say when my Mom was frustrated, “I didn’t do it, Rebel [my dog] did.” Perfect logic for a toddler to have something in his pants that his best friend, his dog Rebel put in his underwear while he was not paying attention.
One day when my Dad was watching me, it happened again. As people we use whatever works, and blaming my dog for my accidents was working fine, so I used it on my Dad. My dad listened to my excuse, cleaned me up, and put clean clothes on me. Then he spanked me. As I cried my father said, “You didn’t get the spanking, Rebel did.”
I learned a lesson that day, and the days of my dog Rebel messing my underwear came to an end. What continued was the idea of being someone else. When I was old enough to leave the yard and meet other kids for a baseball game, or football we did what I imagine most kids did and maybe still do. We would pick who we were going to be for the game.
As I became an adult, being someone else faded. Occasionally I would wish I were someone else, but never actually named someone I wanted to be. Instead, I would think if I were Muhammed Ali, what would I do or say right now. If I were Chuck Yeager, what would I do? It was a way of pretending to be someone else. Instead of being that person for a time, I would do what I thought they might do.
While trying to be like my heroes would in this situation helped, when I was a child actually pretending to be that person it was easier. The problem with trying to be someone is it only works in the short term. It is easy to act like your hero for a few minutes to a few hours, but any longer and the cracks start to appear. After you have gone through all the actions you know they do, you start becoming yourself again.
Eventually I changed or become eccentric, and started being exactly who I thought I was instead of someone else. People would either like me, or they would not. At any rate, I was tired of acting. Acting is a hard job, and even harder when you act every waking minute.
What I found was life was more genuine, and real. Some people did not care for the change in me, others of course loved it. I found I loved the change in me, because I did not have to think about who I was supposed to be, I could just be me. I took the blame for me, and I took the credit for me. Being me was a nice change in my life.
Pretending to be someone else is fun for an hour or two. It helps you experience things you may not have the courage to try on your own. Pretending to be someone else for so long, people around you think your acting is the real you, is possibly flattering to that person, if you do it well, but terribly hard on you.
When you find yourself in a tough spot, think about what your hero would do, and imitate them, but do not try to be them. Make what you think they would do a part of your character so it becomes a part of you. Think of it as a life building exercise. For your normal day in life, practice being you. It works much better for you and others in your life.
