It is January 2011 and many of us are starting our annual cycle of frustration, guilt, and unfulfilled wants in the form of New Year’s Resolutions. If you read my New Year Resolutions post from last year, you know I am not a big fan of New Year Resolutions in their present form. I offered up some ideas for changing New Year resolutions into something you can really use and feel proud of because they are obtainable ideas.
This year, I suggest another option for New Year Resolutions. Making amends, and letting those around you know how and what you really feel is my thought for this year. While it may sound a little silly, or perhaps something that sounds a little uncomfortable, yet is a healthy thing to do. Coming clean so to speak with those around you is liberating, for you and for those whom you love and care about.
One of the big misses for me when I was a child came in the form of endearments. While there was never any doubt how my Parents felt about me, it was rarely spoken. Rather how my folks felt about me was sent to the realm of being a given. When I grew into adulthood, I found it hard to express to those close to me, how I felt about them, and how fortunate I was to have them in my life.
Take a few moments and think about your life and how you interact with those around you. Maybe we have something in common when it comes to being open and grateful of those around us? Actions may speak louder than words on occasion, but heartfelt words can also quiet the restless beast. Maybe speaking a few words will bridge that slight distance we feel when we are alone and thinking of those around us.
It takes an especially strong person not to reflect us back to us, and be themselves instead of another form of us when we are together. People who can do this are rare, those people who always make us feel special even when we do not feel too special ourselves.
This year I propose that we let go of those artificial barriers we set in place separating us from all but those rare personalities. I have found the world does not end, the sky does not split, and the ground does not swallow me up when I say the unsaid that comes from the heart.
Instead I find that people in my life are empowered to be themselves without my personal barriers preventing them from being themselves. Life feels better when those walls are knocked down and you empower yourself to say what is in your heart and not let it remain locked up inside of you.
The poets of love have always written it feels better to share your heart with another rather than keep your feelings locked up. When it comes to matters of the heart, even if the other person does not feel the same way, you no longer have the burden of how you feel locked away in a dark corner. Family members and friends may know how you feel about them, but they will feel better if they not only know, but they hear how you feel about them.
What is in it for you is the feelings of distance and aloneness will slowly dissolve, and you may learn that most people, even strangers care about you and your well being more than you would have guessed. Change is hard. Making resolutions that fall by the wayside is harder. Try rewarding yourself this year with a resolution that makes you feel good about yourself and those around you, and see what happens!
