Tag Archives: Responsibility

Respect Of What We Do Not Need

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I like to eat out, my cooking gets old. My normal run of the mill eating out is generally a buffet of some type; salads, mexican, barbecue, chinese, or home style cooking, if the price is reasonable, I will check them out.

I have noticed a long time trend seemingly absent when I was a kid. Today for example, I was at a fast food place, and a young man filled his cup to the rim with ice, and then dumped it all out and refilled it halfway with ice. His friend asked him why he did that, and the young man answered, “Because I overfilled my cup.”

wasteI see people all the time follow an identical pattern with napkins, condiments, and at the buffets. Plates of food piled higher than a party of three could eat in one sitting – for themselves, or taking an excessive amount of condiments. Most of the extra food goes into the trash. It seems the food industry has been evolved into an industry that now caters to gluttony, and sloth. It seems to be okay with the people on both sides of the counter.

Looking a little farther away from the food industry I see this ‘waste’ mindset is pervasive in many areas of our life. For example, salt has been used in oral hygiene for as long as salt has been around. Recently it is not good enough. Today salt and warm water has been replaced by expensive mixtures of alcohol, water, flavorings, and a few other exotic ingredients. Men and women are losing their hair at an alarming rate because they ‘need’ the sealers, conditioners, and gels, to get the right look.

I wish I could blame it all on the younger generations, like it was something they created, but it is not. With the recent economic bailout, it is obvious this condition has been simmering since I was a kid. I was probably one of the founders of wasteful living. Mega companies, business oriented men and women, and almost every charity imaginable stand in line with their mouths open, and hands out, demanding that someone place an excessive amount of money on their palms, because they need it.

The idea that any company, group, or individual may not need free money is not important today. Self sufficiency and pride has gone out the window. Begging has become the new standard for the American Way. ‘What is in it for me’, is what seems to compel begging all the way from Capitol Hill, to the street corner. It does not matter what you really need, what matters is how much you can get.

When the Christmas holidays roll around this year and the ‘giving’ trees are up, take a look at what children are asking for. Gone are the days of a board game, a pair of jeans, or perhaps some new shoes. Those items are already mainlined to the nations needy by others. Looking at the wish list of the needy, you will see requests for game counsels, cell phones, and designer purses. Nothing is out of the question when it comes to asking.

I like to think I am kind, and I think I am generous with my life. I grew up poor, and I understand the feelings that being poor can have. I understand that something happens, and we find ourselves needing. But when people are asking me for things that I choose not to buy myself because they are out of my budget range, I find myself drawing a line in the sand.

I used to hear about the poor starving children in Africa when I was a child. I now listen to parents hearing from their children how their life is a tragedy because they do not have a two hundred dollar cell phone, at least two of the latest gaming stations, a new sports car, and half the family income for spending money each week.

Is this the America I helped create when I was not paying attention? No matter, I am ashamed of what I see. It is time we have some respect for what we need and use, and live gorging ourselves on what we can get. We do not have the right to expect our government and others to cut back while we live a porkfest life.

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Death and the choices we make getting there

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For the first time in over a month I feel really alive and healthy, mostly the spring weather. I had been thinking while I was feeling poorly about a few people I knew who ran their race, and have passed on. Three of them in particular stand out in my mind as unique.

What stands out about their dying is something they each said near the end of their time. I do not think they thought what they said was anything profound, but their comments have become a sort of life jacket for me. The first person had more wrong with them than right. Their doctor on one of their last visits was surprised to see them and expressed awe that they were still alive? It was not the Doctors greatest moment, and I am sure the Doctor would play that scene over if they could. When the doctor blurted this out to them, they simply said, “What am I supposed to do, fall over dead?”

The second person in my thoughts spent most of their life trying to kill themselves smoking cigarettes. After fifty plus years they got their wish. As they lay on the last bed they would ever lay on, they were very scared, and kept saying over and over as if it would make a difference, “I can’t breathe, I can’t catch my breath.” While I felt their pain, and I could see and feel their fear, a part of me couldn’t help but wonder what they thought two packs of cigarettes a day was supposed to do for them, except this end?

The third person was crippled from a stroke, and also suffered other serious health problems. One day towards the end of his time on a warm sunny July day, he asked me to take him to a lake where the young women would be out sunbathing. I complied and pulled him in his wheel chair through the deep sand as he was ogling the young girl’s working on their tans as we passed by. Eventually he had enough, and motioned we could go back to the car. I asked him why he wanted to see the young girls out sun bathing? He had a vocabulary of about one hundred words, but he made me understand that inside the crippled, tired body, was a man, and for him there was nothing in the world more beautiful on that day than a woman, or in this case a number of women out sunbathing.

I never thought much about what they had to say as their end happened. In fact I never thought about it much at all until many years later when I started to realize that I was mortal too. Two of them met their end knowing they had lived their lives as full and completely as they were able to. The third person met their end in fear, and perhaps shock in their final moments, wondering how they ever arrived at that point, and what they did to deserve it.

I choose carefully about my life, and I think everyone should choose to live life as it comes. This is our one way ticket in this life, and we need to take the ride with our eyes open, and our brains turned on. We have our one body, whether it is healthy or sickly, beautiful or plain, it is all we have. It seems apparent that we are here for a reason, and we have to see our time here through to the end.

What I learned from two of these people is life is worth living – every breath of it. Their is no tragedy, or health problem that can stop us until our bodies quit that should be allowed to keep us from wringing every joy and happiness out of our lives while we still can. From the third person I learned the value of making responsible decisions with my health. Doing something stupid, but taking no responsibility for my actions is not a life choice I make. What a shame to end life that way – terrified and incredulous, looking for something else to blame, looking for anything to blame except us, and not accepting we created this end our self, and we alone are responsible for it.

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Character, choices, responsibility, and wisdom. 2008 version

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I do not know if you are familiar with the old story, “The Ant and The Grasshopper”? For a refresher, here is my 2008 version of what the author had in mind when the story was first told. It may be a little different from the written version, but times change, and so does my perspective.

In the story from the book I had as a child, Ant laid around, or played around, and really was not trying to do anything with his life that was worthwhile. Ant slept late, lounged around the house, and was generally lazy. Depending on your perspective this may not be such a bad life. Seems kind of fun to me as part of a life balance.

Grasshopper on the other hand was an over achiever. Grasshopper started at the crack of dawn tending his retirement fund, and working overtime to increase his net worth. He was not fussy about what he did to generate money, as long as he thought he was being productive he was happy.

What is not obvious in the story is both Ant, and Grasshopper are very good at their life choices. Ant never changes character, and actually worries about the future, or thinks of working for a living. Grasshopper’s character on the other hand never thought about enjoying life, as he was too busy working for some future time.

They both may be considered role models for people who think as they do. In the story, there is something else not mentioned and not readily apparent. The Ant spent an extraordinary amount of time visualizing how his future was going to be, and not really doing anything about achieving it.

Grasshopper on the other hand had little imagination. Grasshopper could not look to the future, and imagine what life would be like. Grasshopper spent his time getting ready for winter, and did not take time to enjoy the summer, and be happy for what he had at present. Grasshopper generally was moody and morose. With all of Grasshoppers good points, Grasshopper could only see his faults.

Some might think the Ant and Grasshopper were using some form of LOA, or other belief system. Ant was certain in his thinking that what he needed would be provided somehow, and everything would be okay. Grasshopper knew that any kind of LOA, or other belief system needed his help to be successful. The summer went on with Grasshopper prodding Ant to get a job, so he would have what he needed for the hard times coming. Ant was young, and carefree, he did not realize no one was going to help him survive come winter.

Of course after summer, winter came. Ant was now cold, and starving. On the other hand, Grasshopper had too much of everything. Some of his food must have been spoiling, because it had been saved for so long. While once again (as far as memory serves me) we do not know the whole story of Ant, or Grasshopper, some things are obvious:

  • Too much of anything is not good. Whether it is our work ethic, belief system, or relationships, we need to strike a balance.
  • Too little of anything has the same end result. Too much focus on one area of our life leaves us empty and cold in other areas. Emptiness, and want tend to make us bitter.
  • To have a good life balance, we must be aware, and think. Blindly following any life path does not lead to happiness.
  • We should be thrilled with our good parts, and accepting of the other parts, as Ant accepted his plight from playing, and goofing off all summer. Grasshopper demonstrates this in the story too, where he did not care to help Ant, but turned Ant away to fend for himself. Grasshopper accepted himself for what he was. Ant did the same, but not in such an obvious manner.

After the story ends, we can see both characters have their good sides, and their flaws. They both accepted that they each had their individual flaws. Ant apparently died from cold and hunger. Grasshopper died of loneliness because he no longer had Ant to talk with.

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Military Christmas overseas

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This is a military story, Air Force, overseas…years ago. I think often of the men and women serving overseas, because I spent three years serving outside the United States, and I remember how quickly during the holidays I started missing home, especially Christmas at home.

Starting about this time of the month radio stations would start playing Christmas music along with regular songs. It was nice to hear Christmas music playing on the radio just like I would at home. Of course the DJ running that segment had his own comments about the season, and what his family was doing for Christmas. That part was okay, because with a little remembering, I could guess what my family was doing each day.

I would remember they would like to get together as a group and shop on this day. Christmas meal planning would usually be coordinated over the phone for the Christmas feast. They would meet at one of their homes, bake cookies this day, and maybe the next day too. Then there was the individual family baking. Those little treats that one family may enjoy, that were too time consuming, or costly to share with everyone.

So it really was not too hard to be home for the holidays in my imagination. I could keep track between the calendar and my imagination what was going on at home. I think we all did this. Unfortunately being in security, and guarding something in the middle of the night with my M16 rifle, flak jacket, helmet, and flashlight for company, it was a little hard to keep the holiday spirit going. Some of the other guys in my Flight would get care packages, which would be sometimes shared at work, so that helped some.

When television was less than spectacular, and I was not working, I would occasionally listen to the radio. As I mentioned there were the regular Christmas songs, so it was easy to pretend I was close to home, but off doing something, so no family, or friends were around at the moment.

When the date moved around to about the fifteenth, it seemed one Christmas song in particular managed to be played what seemed like four times an hour. Care to guess the name of the song before you read on?

If you guessed, “I’ll be home for Christmas”, give yourself a pat on the shoulder for a good guess! It seemed that every other Christmas song played was, I’ll be home for Christmas! After about a week of it, I could hear it in the back of my head while doing other things. I could even hear it in my sleep, or so it seemed!

Every December, since I came back to ‘The World’ (as it is was called then), portions of some days, and some nights only part of me is here, and sleeping in my own bed. Another part of me, is standing next to some nineteen year old who is out in the rain, or cold, with no light, heat, or company, thinking about what his or her family is doing for Christmas, and how he or she would really like to be there too, even for a few hours.

Before I spent my time in the military, I never gave the people serving a second thought. Since then, I am very aware of how even the ‘safe’ folks overseas are sacrificing for me, so I can have a happy fun filled holiday season. I won’t even attempt to account for how the folks in combat zones are fairing. I know none of them will be home for Christmas this year, but when they do get home for Christmas, it will not be the same for them either. So when I seem a little preoccupied, it is probably because I am thinking about what Christmas means to those who are not here to enjoy it. It is hard to know what it is like serving overseas during an important holiday, unless you have been there. Lots of fun, is not one the phrases generally used to describe the Christmas season.

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