I was in a conversation today when an interesting remark was made. The remark is applicable to many conversations and circumstances. Once heard I thought the remark would be applicable as a life compass to help everyone make better decisions. Decisions we find ourselves making are not always the best when we look at them after the fact. I will use driving as a simple example here too with myself as the main character.
The morning starts out bad. The power went out, the alarm clock died, I wake up late because of of the clock and the power, and because I went to bed later than I should have the night before. I start my car, and think if I drive fast to work I will make it faster than if I take my time and follow the speed limits. The time saved is really only a minute or two, and the speed limits are fast enough. That is reasonable thinking although I am not thinking reasonably at the moment.
I am almost to wherever I am going, and suddenly there is a police car behind me with red lights flashing. The Policeman has done his duty, no slacking off for him, and I am looking at a hefty fine. Checking my watch I see I have lost ten minutes when I only was two minutes ahead anyway. Now there is the matter of my insurance company finding out, and depending on what I do for a living, the company I work for.
Getting to work in thirty-two minutes late instead of thirty-six minutes late is not a life changing event. A speeding ticket in in and of itself is not a major life changing situation. Hitting another car, and injuring the other driver, or running over someone crossing the street because I was racing along, would be a life changing event I would live with the rest of my life.
 The issue of abortion for example; in the thinking of some people is getting the abortion is not the whole issue. What is the whole issue, is the behavior that led up to getting pregnant in the first place. Why would anyone get pregnant with someone they do not wish to have a baby with? Why was someone having unprotected sex if they did not wish to be pregnant in the first place?
Pregnancy and abortion are trigger words for high profile articles, and are used here to point out a thinking flaw most of us tend to share at one time or another in our lives. We find ourselves taking an action even though we dread one of the possible outcomes. We somehow prevent ourselves, or downplay that outcome while we are making the decision.
If you have not guessed by now the remark, and I bet you thought I forgot about it and went off on a tangent, was a word picture about getting pregnant when not planning to, by someone you do not want a baby with. The actual wording is of little importance, but the idea behind it should be on the top of everyones decision making list.
As I thought about what was said, I saw another ‘Rule of Three’ in the making.
What are the worst possible outcomes within reason?
Is the best outcome worth the risk of the worst outcome(s) actually happening?
How seriously will the outcomes you do not want, if they happen change your life?
When looked at through those three lenses, what seems like a good idea at the moment is not worth the risk of what could happen if something goes wrong. If something goes wrong, looking at yourself in the mirror every day, knowing a poor choice you made, because you can not make it right, is the real painful result. Who wants to wake every day knowing it easily could have been a different choice if only?
If you have been reading my posts for a while you know I like things in three. Three is easy to remember and easy to do. Doing things by three feels natural and simple to do. Three is easy to do in sequence. More steps add confusion and get in a the way of the process needing to be accomplished.
Decision making and the rule of three is a simple way to categorize our options and choices which we use to make our decisions. We almost always have a choice to do something. We almost always have an choice to not do something. We generally have a choice of not making any decision.
Making a decision is an active process. Making a decision changes your life direction and is a proactive action. You are making a change to move your life in a certain direction. Making decision to not do something is an active process. Deciding to not do something is changing the direction of you life by eliminating a certain direction, or life path you could have taken.
Not making any decision is at best a semi-active decision. No choice is made to make a decision. Not making a decision – most of the time is correct – as long as any likely result is not important. Allowing friends on the spur of the moment to take you to lunch is an example of not making a decision. You don’t know what will be served, but you are going to eat something somewhere. Whatever you eat will nourish your body. It is only one meal; what the meal is comprised of does not really matter.
 Because we are the one making or not making a decision we are surrounded by the decision we need to make. Being at the center of a decision clouds our ability to make the best decision. Our ability to make better choices is clouded because we cannot see all the choices or option available to us. We can only see those options pressed upon us by those around us. We do not have the pleasure of stepping back and looking at our options from a more distant unbiased perspective.
A good example is when you are playing a game, verses watching someone else play a game. When playing a game you make continuous decisions based on what you see from your seat and what you did previously. Watching a game and observing what is happening, a different perspective is achieved.
Being able to watch from a distance allows you to see what is influencing the game direction. Being able to see what other players are doing and why allows you to make better decisions because you see more going on than you can see when playing in a game.
At times is not possible to stand back and see all your decision choices from a distance. The decision may be too serious, too emotional, or a decision needs to be made now, not later.
My rule of three in helping to make the best decision are:
1. Is it important? If it’s not important, whatever I decide makes little difference. I save my decision making for another time.
2. Of my remaining choices which decisions will cause the least harm to my life, family, or other peoples life’s?
3. Of my remaining choices, whether no matter what I personally think about it, which choice is best for my life and future life path?
When decisions are difficult and an easy choice is not present, using these three rules will help you to make choices that are the best choices you can make in the moment. Later if you find your decision was not the best you could have made, there may be a possibility of modifying your previous decision to something better.
In any case use what you learned from previous decisions for the tough decision you have to make using little information. If you know you tend to make bad decisions when you have to make quick decisions, postpone your decision as long as you can. If you find you do not consider all possibilities, share your decision with someone you trust.
Someone you trust may not agree with your decision, but they will provide you with options you may not have considered. Making decisions by a rule of three allows each of the three options to become more valuable by modifying any or all of the three choices of decision making on your past decision making learnings. As you refine your options your decisions become better. As your decisions become better, you will have less decisions to make.
 I was out walking last evening, and thought up another use for my rule of three. Perhaps it will change the world too, or at least your little slice of it. As I mentioned before, I enjoy doing things by three.
The number three is important or valued in some areas, a powerful number. The Christian bible being a good example. When there was a battle, and the good guys won, the army is a number divisible by three. On the other hand the defeated is usually a number divisible by four. The Trinity is another good example, the Stations of the Cross, and I imagine the list goes on and on. Three is thought to be a powerful number. I happen to like using three because it feels like a little more than one or two, but not as hard to remember as four or more.
I thought late last night, why restrict doing something good to just where I walk. Why not bring that thought or act into the rest of my life? I went through a number of ideas, and came up with this one. It will take some time to get it moving, but I think people will catch on and help because it makes our world a cleaner prettier place to be.
As I walked to the park yesterday, I slowed down where some tumbleweed was growing in the rocks next to the sidewalk. As few cars approached I saw my opportunity. I bent over and pulled some tumbleweed out and placed it on the curbside of the street.
Once on the walking path, I picked up some paper trash as two people were walking towards me. For my third act, I again pulled some tumbleweed and set it to the curb as a car drove by and a walker was walking towards me. I used three timed opportunities to attempt to influence neighbors and fellow walkers. If I do this every time I am out over the summer, say sixty times over the next months, I am providing almost two hundred people the opportunity to be influenced into doing something good for themselves and their community.
That is great for the few blocks to the park and the walking path, but what about the rest of my day. That is when I decided it was time to turn it into three. Three times during my day, I am going to look for opportunities to do something positive and helpful, in an effort to influence other people to do the same. I think it is a great grass roots movement in the making!
Doing something good in front of other people is modeling a behavior we all should be doing, but for various reasons do not. Some of us have become shy about standing out in a crowd and doing anything that makes them stand out and be noticed. Being noticed for role modeling a good action is a great thing.
I think it is time to end those behaviors and do something good for all of us at the same time. The rule of three can be a guideline, but by no means a stopping point if opportunities present themselves. For example today, I told a worker at a local salad bar, that I hope their boss notices how hard they work, and what a good job they do. I commented on a pretty blouse a woman was wearing who looked up as she ate, looking tired from carrying life’s burdens.
Please join in by looking for three opportunities every day to model a positive behavior in front of others or by doing something for someone else. Pick up a piece of paper on the ground, pull a weed from a city flower bed, offer to help someone with something simple, like carrying their books as you both walk home. I do not think it has to be anything big to start making a big difference.
It may feel awkward at first, but the feelings of happiness and contentment that follow later on make up for any feelings of standing out. Plus picking up a few pieces of trash and throwing them away where they belong will make your neighborhood a more pleasant place. And you will feel good about what you are doing!
I am invoking my rule of three, this time for fishing. Maybe using the rule of three for fishing is a little broad, so I will narrow my rule of three to how the rule of three applies to the top three things you need to know to catch more fish.
When fishing for any species of fish with a rod and reel, and probably in commercial fishing too, it is important to know a few things about the fish you want to catch. Like we humans, fish have their likes and dislikes. There are endless species and subspecies of fish in the world. Most species of fish with the exception of being salt water or fresh water fish can tolerate a wide range of environments, the same as we humans. It may not be what we prefer, but we can tolerate vast extremes in our physical world.
Certain fish enjoy being in warm water filled with plant growth, other fish prefer rock. Some fish prefer flat shallow water, and other fish prefer a few feet of shallow water close to the shore line, and a sloping drop to deeper depths beyond that. Some fish prefer overhanging brush to hide under; other fish prefer low handing vegetation to hunt around.
It is the same with temperature and sunlight. Some fish thrive in cool to deep waters, and other fish need sunny shallow water. Most fish are adapted to daylight, and use the day time to forage for and capture food. Other fish of course have decided that the night time is the right time, and are dormant during the day, becoming active as the sun goes down.
 Food sources are another determining factor when fishing. Knowing what food the fish you wish to catch prefers, is a determining factor in where you will do your fishing. Some very big fish are hooked and landed by young children, who don’t know that certain types of big fish hunt for food close to the waters edge in hopes of a small animal falling in the water. Other fish forage in the depths where the type of food they prefer lives.
How all this relates to my rule of three is simple. Once you decide what three things are most important to you in your own life, you know then determine how those effect the fish you want to catch. Fishing now becomes much simpler. The top four needs on most people’s lists are food, shelter, temperature, and lifestyle. Think of lifestyle as where you hang out, or what you like to do with your free time.
Of those four things if you learn enough about any three of them and how they apply to the fish you want to catch, you are on your way to becoming a respected fisherman. The general unaware fisherman walks up to a body of water, puts some bait on the end of their fishing line and casts as far to the middle of the lake, river, or pond as they can. Obviously they have not bothered to learn much about the fish they want to catch.
It may be where their bait lands is a underwater island, the water is two feet deep, and the fish they want to catch prefer deep water. Or it may be they are out trying to catch a species of fish that prefers being active opposite of when the fisherman is out fishing.
It may be they are fishing in water that is too warm, cold, turbulent, or still for the fish they want to catch. As the saying goes five percent of the fisherman catch ninety-five percent of the fish. I am guessing about five percent of the fisherman are the total amount who took some time to learn about the fish they want to catch.
Which type of fisherman do you want to be? Find out what three of the top four needs are for the fish you want to catch and use your knowledge to decide when and where you should be fishing using what type of bait.
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The issue of abortion for example; in the thinking of some people is getting the abortion is not the whole issue. What is the whole issue, is the behavior that led up to getting pregnant in the first place. Why would anyone get pregnant with someone they do not wish to have a baby with? Why was someone having unprotected sex if they did not wish to be pregnant in the first place?