Tag Archives: spending

Charity for the right reasons

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There is an old saying, that probably is not well known any longer. The saying is, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” This saying was first uttered so long ago it seems the author has faded into history, although the advice is as true today as it was when first heard.

As with all good sayings, there is more to this saying than the few words that is takes to write it. Each of us owns our own life, and we have the right to choose how we wish to live it. Where conflict comes in, eg, the horse not drinking, is when we care about someone. We care about someone, but their life choices, and our life choices are not the similar enough. Because we care about someone we have a tendency to jump in and try to correct situations when we are not invited to. We like to think that because we care about them, we are entitled to have an opinion or voice in any situation of theirs we disagree with.

Some people have to go through life facing difficulties. They need what a hard life brings to complete their goals in their life, whether spiritual, or character centered. Each problem facing them is a new opportunity to either grow into what they envision themselves to be, or to reaffirm what they believe they have become. Sort of like practicing for an event, it is hard for these people to practice without something wrong in their lives.

Unfortunately for some of us, there is nothing wrong in other peoples lives. Only what they have created or manifested is what is happening to them. To us they live at the edge of their economy, they hang out with the wrong people, they walk alone in the wrong places at the wrong time. They do a hundred things that they should not be doing – in our opinion. On a cold day, the heat is on and the door is left open, because the sun is shining and they are feeling closed in. Then next week an envelope arrives in the mail, and suddenly they can not afford their heating bill.

I believe generally it is wrong to help someone who continuously places themselves and/or their family in these types of situations. This thinking may sound cold hearted or just plain bad, but it is true. Whether the currency is money, time, or something else, our gifts are too valuable to waste on someone who does not value what we give. These gifts we have accumulated through our lives are not to be wasted. When gifts we have are given to someone who does not value them, what happens? To us it looks as if they have wasted their gifts, and now they are wasting our gifts too. Do not give away your gifts any quicker than you would give away your keys, and your home address. Your gifts are not necessarily overly scarce, but they are not endless either. They are to be used wisely and for the right reasons.

There is another old quote that applies in these situations, “Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water.”

Helping others is a wonderful thing if it is done with the proper attitude, and the proper perspective. Throwing a dollar bill to the person that stands on the street corner with a pail every day is throwing away your financial gifts. Think of how much better use you can put your gifts to if they are given at the right time for the right reason to someone who is really ready for them? If you wait for the right time and the right reason to share your gifts, you will discover so much more than what you have given. The person you choose to share your gifts with will also receive so much more than a few dollars, or a little of your time. You will find you both have something to share in, and you both will feel fulfilled, and grateful, albeit for different reasons. Finally, in being frugal with sharing your gifts, you will find the greatest gift of all is letting someone make their own way, in their own fashion, at their own pace. Once you realize you have found this gift, you will know the people you were trying to help are perfect just the way they are! And they will know you finally understand what they have been trying so hard to teach you.

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Our Economy and Our Personal Spending

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Well over a century ago when things were not simpler, just different. One of my ancestors, most likely my great Grandfather, had some legal problems in Ireland that became serious enough he found his way into a courtroom. He was made a prisoner aboard an English ship, jumped ship in Canada and made his way into the United States, and settled in Michigan.

My great Grandfather saw a lot of things change in his time much like we do today. In his day, in a little town in Michigan, he worked, saved and had a successful life. This was still in the horse and buggy day, so the cost of living was quite low compared to today at the turn of the century. A lot has changed since that time. A few of the changes that took place were railroads and track, automobiles and roads, federal income tax, world wars, the great depression, and that is only the high level view.

For the individuals of their time, people just like like you and I were slowly drawn into a life of consumerism. Suddenly goods that people had been happy with for many years were suddenly old, faded, worn, or there were exciting new products out there that people just could not live without. People went from saving as much of their pay checks as they could, to spending their paychecks, and some spent faster than others.

For many of us learning from our parents and their good life in the fifties and sixties we have become a nation of debtors chasing instant gratification. Over half of us can not always pay our bills on time, nor can many of us afford what we owe. We have evolved not into just buying this we want, but replacing perfectly good items with newer items, primarily our cars. For many of us we do not need a new car, we want a new car.

Unfortunately, because we are creatures of habit, our car spending thinking trickles down to all aspects of our life. We could work our way out of debt, but we choose not to generally. The steps for getting out of debt are easy, while following those steps are not. It is much easier not to put ourselves in that position to start with.

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