Tag Archives: success

Follow Through Goal Setting

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I was pulling into a parking place at a fast food place for a cup of coffee when I observed three young boys ride up on their bicycles. They only had one bicycle lock, and there was no convenient bike rack to place their bicycles in. I watched as one boy stood by the bicycles, and the other two walked around the front of the building looking for a secure place to lock their bicycles to. The two boys walked back to the boy guarding the bicycles and they had a short discussion of how and where they were going to lock up their three bicycles with one lock as I opened the door and walked inside.

I asked for, received, and paid for my coffee, and walked to a small table in the corner. The boys walked through the entrance, and the boy who appeared to be the oldest walked up to the counter where he was asked by the person running the counter if she could help him.

“Do you still have one dollar drinks?

“Yes, any size drink for one dollar.”

“I would like a large soda and three straws.”

Noticeable lack of manners on the boy’s end of the conversation, but that is another post. The boy was given his large soda cup and three straws. He paid his money and joined his friends at a booth to share their drink.

For about thirty seconds all was well with the boys. Suddenly one boy says loudly that he does not want any more of the soda because one of the other boys spit in it. Of course it was denied by both of them, and the accuser reaffirmed his accusation of spitting in the shared soda cup along with a name and pointed finger.

The questionably guilty boy stated he was not spitting into the soda. He was blowing bubbles, as he always did with his soda. The third boy sided with the accuser, stating how that is wrong to do that when they all three were sharing a soda. He finished saying he did not want any more soda either, pushing the cup to the bubble blower.

Both offended and defensive, the accused bubble blower did not know what to do. He had a whole soda to himself, but his friends were angry with him. They were telling him how they spent their money on a drink for all of them, and he ruined it by blowing bubbles into the soda and getting spit in the soda. The guilty boy, not being able to think of a way out of the dilemma, stood up and walked to the soda machine where he poured out the soda, and threw the cup away.

While this may be a short story of a small event concerning three young boys sharing a soda, there are valuable pointers and tips that may be gleaned from this situation.

The boys had a plan which was mostly successful. They applied previously tested and beneficial problem solving techniques to their small group. The boys had learned to cooperate getting to the fast food place, which was over one-half mile from the closest housing, and across a busy six lane street, which is at times no small feat in itself.

The boys had cooperated pooling their change to buy a shared soda. Arriving at the restaurant, the boys used sound teamwork techniques in finding a spot on the building where their bicycles could all be locked together. They behaved as expected once inside, with two of the boys going to a booth, while the third ordered their drink. They each had their own straw to drink from.

Up to this moment the boys were working as a team. They probably have been in each others company long enough they knew what to do without thinking about it. Each knew his role and each of them perhaps was pliable enough to exchange leadership roles and direct activities as needed.

Where their plan unravelled was in the actual drinking of the soda. The soda was the ultimate prize. All their planning, working together, and coordination was accomplished for this single goal of having a cold drink on a hot day for as little money as possible.

What the boys failed to plan for was how they would enjoy their soda jointly. Their planning and teamwork fell apart at this moment. They had not previously discussed their expectations of each others drinking habits before buying the soda. Each of them thought the other two would drink in a manner they all would find acceptable. As a result, their plan was not accomplished and they all lost something in the process.

Often we find ourselves in the same situations in our own life. We each have goals or end points of some type we are always working towards, wether business or personal. We flesh out our plans and start putting them into action. We make small adjustments and tweaks as we go. If we planned well enough, and we enjoy a little good fortune we arrive at our goal. Now what?

People who have achieved a long range goal, and then lost it shortly thereafter are all around us, all we have to do is look. Couples marry, and between the husband and wife they are working three jobs to afford the things they want for their life. Then they separate because they have grown apart becoming strangers.

Successful business people who spent years building their business lose it over something that has nothing to do with running a business. Each week we may hear or read of someone wins a lottery or receives a substantial amount of money, only to wake up broke a few years later.

It is important to have a plan no matter how vague it may be. It is vital to have a plan that includes the end point in it. Whether the end point is sharing a soda, working towards a future, or building a business, it is as important to plan through the process of achieving the desired result as it is taking the first step of turning an idea into action.

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Using The Art Of Friendship

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If you have taken any business classes, work for a corporation, or enjoy strategy games, you probably have heard of Sun Tzu. This little treatise of approximately sixty-two-hundred characters has been studied, taught in war college, business classes for many centuries.

Sun Tzu’s writing is a good asset for business because it lays a foundation a business can follow to thrive and survive in their appropriate market(s). Sun Tzu’s, “Art Of War” provides a focusing lense leading to success for any size business. It has been said that Sun Tzu and Niccolò Machiavelli are all the only business partners one needs for business success.

Unfortunately these business partners have found themselves being used in areas where they are ineffective and self defeating. In arenas of friendship and cooperative work towards a common goal, Sun Tzu and Machiavelli ruin more friendships and joint efforts than they help.

Some people in todays overly competitive society have discarded appropriate and accepted forms of personal interaction and instead create for themselves a world of thinly disguised guerilla warfare and subterfuge.

Competition holds a valid place in business. Healthy competition between areas of a business helps competing groups reach a higher level than would be possible without competition. Competition among employees in the same work group, where some are waging war against their coworkers to promote themselves is destructive for the group and the parent company.

Utilizing Sun Tzu and Machiavelli for whole life management is not only destructive, it is dangerous. It destroys friendships, relationships, and families, leaving one isolated and alone. Family life and friendships are just that. Friendship and family life is a place where one can go to leaving the outside world behind.

Life is a series of battles and struggle, but as with an army, there has to be a place where one can go and relax and recuperate. A place where one can be themselves without worrying beyond good manners about what is happening around them.

For anyone living a life comprised of total personal war and continuos competition I suggest a new direction. I propose, “The Art Of Friendship”. Create a life where the Art of Friendship can survive and thrive makes everyone more effective in other areas of their life.

The Art of Friendship is a way of dealing with people around you who share your interests, either business or personal and benefits everyone by making everyone more effective and prosperous. Instead of planning assassinations of coworkers or friends who’s interests are a little too close to our own, look for ways to work together and share in the glow of excellence instead of the the false glow of simply winning.

Allowing those around you to work jointly towards a common goal, is not only more personally satisfying, it is powerful. Instead of working as a single entity, having more people to work together towards the same goal increases the chance of success, and reduces failure from something not considered by an individual.

These days to many people see themselves as a lone warrior out battling the forces against them. What they are really doing is creating is a vacuum, where everything that could be accomplished with help can not be done because no one is willing to risk helping.

Same as a single stick being easily broken, whereas a tied bundle of sticks can not, working together in friendship and trust creates environments where everyone wins more than any individual can alone.

Business in many respects is a game of chess, consisting of moves and counter moves. Although chess is played by one individual competing against a second individual, the individual pieces on the chess board are acting as a team with a common goal. The complete team of chess pieces wins the chess match, not an individual chess piece. Try working with your coworkers and friends instead of trying to better them, and see what you can conquer as a complete functioning team, and not a single chess piece.

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Biggest failure?

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I am back from my trip where I studied as if I were in college again. It was only a week at a vendor class, but I worked hard every minute I was there. By Thursday when I went to sleep a little after midnight with my alarm set for five, I remembered how it was in college. In college it was much easier, because at that time, a class was just a class it was not my career path and my future. I suppose I have had a paradigm change over the years. Each and every class was my future; I did not have the experience to understand at that time of my life. With some things I am a slow learner.

Everyone in the class with was responsible in their behavior both in and away from the training. I made a contrast comparison one evening while enjoying a Japanese style dinner, how it was when I was in the military and we were half way around the world. Some people who at home, were community pillars, and role models did a one hundred and eighty degree turn when they realized that what they did would never be discovered by their social circle back home. It was quite surprising to see how a few people really act when there is no direct consequence to their behavior. Similar to, ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas’ commercials.

The Olympics are going full steam and it is always amazing watching  talented dedicated athletes complete sets, or finish runs and swims in times that were thought impossible a few decades ago. When I watch the Olympics and think we have reached the pinnacle of what is possible for a human is shattered by the time the next Olympic meet. I remember when the four minute mile was shattered; it was thought to be a one time one person phenomenon.

It was thought that there would never be another boxer who could compete at the level Mohammad Ali had reached, nor a gymnast of Mary Lou Retton’s caliber, and never another swimmer like Mark Spitz. ‘Never say never’, is one constant I have learned. The ultimate moment people spent their whole life trying to achieve makes a new dream possible for hundreds, perhaps thousands of others who are struggling with the basics of their endeavors. Those struggling so hard have now raised their own personal expectations to the level those before them achieve with so much struggle, sweat, and tears.

I was watching CNN this morning, and one story caught my eye, and fired up my thinking. The presidential candidates, Senators McCain, and Obama were at a Q & A of a certain bent, and were answering identical questions. Senator McCain in response to a question stated that he saw the biggest failure of his life as his first failed marriage.

I really hope Senator McCain expanded on his answer more than the few seconds the news story gave it. Claiming a failed marriage is the biggest failure of ones life is selling oneself short in the value of all things. I would suggest that if Senator McCain really failed at his first marriage and did not learn a single thing from it, why is his current marriage a success? Without going into the obvious negative response to that question, I would suggest that Senator McCain learned more from his failed marriage than he learned in any and all relationships that preceded his failed marriage.

It may be a stretch to suggest that the Senator’s previous relationships were all failures too as he took something away from all previous relationships he had to arrive at the point where marriage was the next formal step. That being said, failing at a first marriage, the Senator gained (after a time of course) everything he needed to make a second marriage more successful.

Learning through failure is the biggest part of our emotional and spiritual life. If we never experience failure, we would never grow, and most of us would never discover those things we need to bring our life journey to a satisfying end. If we never experience a failure whether it is something as major as an Olympic event, failed relationship, or even a game during recess as a child, we have failed ourselves. The worst part of failure is never having tried in the first place.

I am sure all Athletes in this Olympic event, Senators McCain and Obama, and many others have learned at least as much from their failures as they have from their successes, if not more. We should never be afraid to fail. Failure is one of the greatest opportunities we have in our lifetime to learn and grow. If you observe the statistics of any successful individual from the world of any chosen field, if their rate of success is not at least matched by their rate of failure, they have not challenged themselves to their full potential, and have cheated themselves of possibilities that never came to fruition.

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Management by fear, or winning at any cost

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I like management. I enjoy the different ways we choose to make their world work for ourselves. To be the most successful manager is more of an art form than a method, as a method can only take you so far. The very successful managers follow a blueprint method they studied, and then put into practice. The most brilliant managers however take a certain management style, and made it their own with minor tweaks and changes.

There has always been a type of manager that most people do not like, and yet they are successful. They can be identified easily because you never know what they are about to do in the next second. I remember the first person with this type of management I actually worked with was in the military. He was my Squadron Commander, and by all accounts he was quite successful. There was quite a grade difference between him, and those at my level. He was quite friendly, and affable, but talking with him was like walking on proverbial eggshells.

You had to be very careful with him, because the slightest improper remark that you never even noticed until he reminded you who owned your world, had you on the immediate defensive for a harmless comment. You found yourself trying to defend something said that needed no defense, because he decided it was somehow inappropriate. For a few very tense moments, your immediate future was very much undetermined.

I was watching the history channel this last weekend. They do a series named Gangland, and that is where the mystery was solved for me. One of the men on the show mentioned that he was told to study the classics, especially Niccolo Machiavelli. I never heard much about Machiavelli except a mention in some odd book here and there. This week I decided as I was book challenged I would brush up on Niccolo Machiavelli.

It seems he is a whole new aspect in the management arena. All by himself he determined an optimum method of management that had the most direct results in the shortest and least painful amount of time and effort. It is an adoption of Niccolo Machiavelli that these odd but interesting people use to control their empires, no matter how large or small.

What makes these people unique is they are successful because they are focused on their own success, without any concern over those around them, above them, or below them. As an example, Niccolo Machiavelli watched Ceseare Borgia carve out his own little empire. Borgia had used some mercenaries which was common at the time to quell unrest in a province recently taken under his control.

The officer in charge of the mercenaries did his job so well that unrest over the loss of the kingdom was quelled in record time. An unexpected outcome however was there was new unrest over the brutality and violence of the mercenaries over the previous few months. Borgia realized he was about to lose his newly won territory, and had to act quickly and decisively.

Ceseare Borgia called the mercenary commander to his headquarters out of the province for a meeting. Four days later the officer’s body, now in two pieces, was found in the province’s town square where it was left for weeks for all to see. Machiavelli realized Ceseare Borgia was a person who would do whatever had to be done in order for his goals to be achieved. He watched others at least as ruthless as Ceseare Borgia, and developed an appreciation for their abilities to get their way. No one or nothing was important enough, or loved enough to be a hindrance to their individual desire.

It has been was written about Niccolo Machiavelli, he would commit murder and sleep soundly if it improved his long turn objective. Not many of us are willing to go to those extremes for our wants to be met. Having the world, or your part of it fear, despise, and hate you, is not something most people aspire to. But when you come in contact with these people who do not act quite right, look a little closer, and ask them how they sleep at night. You might be in for quite an experience if you pay close attention to them.

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