Tag Archives: truth

Quest For Truth

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Chances are you are on some type of quest. What your individual quest is and whether it is defined in your being is something only you know. Most quests are completed silently in solitude. They range from rampaging emotions through to quiet desperation, always looking for a speck of confirmation telling you that you are on the right path.

Once the basic three needs were solved, who knows long ago, regular amounts of food, shelter, and offspring, we started to have have time to ponder other life mysteries. The search for, The Fountain of Youth, goes on yet today, as does the quest for ruling the world, the secret to creating and sustaining life, and the search for our own personal truth(s). Searching for our own personal truth, whether it be religion, lack of religion, or fairies in the hedge row, we all are on the same search, hoping to give meaning to our life.

Michael Ayers has been on a quest for his personal truth for some time now. Michael’s blog has a dedicated following who have stood along side of Michael at various times and topographies, as Michael set off to pursue his own personal truth looking for answers to the question of his own reason for being alive.

You will have to read Michael’s blog yourself to find what Michael has found to be true for him. Michael searched and suffered, hitting deep lows and reaching new heights, only to be plunged into new lows, a repeating cycle of ups and downs. Perhaps Michael’s search is not over yet. Maybe Michael has only reached a higher plateau, and is unknown to himself resting and regrouping, before his insatiable curiosity spurs him onward to find more.

My own quest for what is true for me took decades. I tried to fit everything I knew to be true into a hand me down mold. What I believed to be true was always at odds with my inherited package of what was supposedly true. It was not until I accepted almost everything I was told to believe was not quite true, and my flighty willingness to accept what I knew rather than what I had been told, that I started to believe my own truths.

I am curious if you are your own quest for your own personal truths? Does the version of truth you were given by your family meet your needs, or is there a little niggling voice coming out of the background of your mind every now and then suggesting what you think you believe is not quite true?

If you have heard the voice, have you done anything about it? The first steps as Michael can attest to are the easiest. It is once you are well down the path when the cobble stones beneath your feet start to crumble, and the way becomes slippery, frustrating, and difficult. During these times a second voice is heard. Every explorer and risk taker who stepped out from the herd knows this voice. It is a voice of steeling.

You rarely hear the second voice when the sun is shining and you are sure of the route. You know the truth you are seeking is just around the corner, you can almost see it if you strain your eyes the right way and bend your neck in the correct position. Our final truth is only a short way up the path, we are almost there.

Maybe we become too needy in this moment. We are worn and haggard, and we want to find what we are looking for and be done with it. We are tired from our journey. The quest that seemed so romantic, simple, and fun in the beginning is taking more time and energy than we bargained for.

As the sun sets, and we are tired we hear a new voice, “Maybe we made a mistake? Maybe there is no truth to find? Maybe what we were told is the only truth we need to believe?” The same question formulated into a hundred different doubts makes its presence known. Maybe we should quit it say’s

Putty or steel, what are we made of? To give up the search because it is not fun and is becoming painful, or move one foot in front of the other to the end? Fall back into the fold and safety of the herd, accept their murmurs of welcome, or continue on?

Moving on means more of the same, deprivation, restlessness, loneliness, and doubt become our companions if we choose to continue. It is not an easy choice, and there may not be a correct answer. It is a test of your spirit, and everything you are made of. If you are like Michael and others like him, you too may find what you are looking for.

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Be true to yourself to be happy with yourself

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One of the keys to being happy is to be truthful with yourself. If you can not be truthful with yourself, how can you expect to be happy? Being truthful with yourself is hard at first, yet anyone can do it, and everyone can find themselves happier with their life by learning to be truthful with themselves.

If you think you are truthful with yourself, try a little experiment. Think about something that someone has mentioned to you about you that you know is a an area in your life that could use some type of change.

When someone mentioned this to you, how did it make you feel? If it makes you feel angry, it is likely something in your life you are ignoring. If you are ignoring this, and you were aware of it before it was mentioned to you, you are not being honest with yourself. If you are not honest with yourself, how can you expect to be deep down happy?

It is not easy being honest with yourself. It takes courage and it takes some amount of work at times. A simple example is someone who you feel drinks too much, or gambles too much. What you observe about them, and what they perceive about themselves are usually very different.

For most of us, being happy, is nothing so dramatic as admitting we have an addiction or other problem. It is generally more subtle, because we do not make the connection between one action and another consequence.

For example my really losing weight instead of pretending to. I found out a lot about my thinking about food and eating habits when I seriously decided I wanted to lose weight. Up until that moment I knew I should lose weight, but never followed through. I would have these thoughts as I was at a buffet having a second desert after a second helping. It was easy to justify my actions telling myself I would eat less over the next few days to make up for this meal where I ate too much.

In this situation it was impossible to be happy with myself, and the contradiction I placed myself in. Yet for many years it was the norm for me. It was not until I came to terms with what I was doing, that I found happiness in this area of my life.

Another example from my life is my post, Dark Night of the Soul. I lived for decades being miserable because I refused to accept what I was and who I am because it did not fit into my definition of what I thought I should be. More to the point, I let my ego run my life, and I followed along in the distance. Of course if we let our ego decide who and what we are it will never match reality. Having our own idea of who and what we are is a side effect of ego.

Of course these are major life events, they are also good examples of how we let ourselves get in the way of our being happy. Happiness is not a switch we turn on and turn off, at least for most of us. Many of us have to struggle. Going to a lake and watching people is a good example of how we get in the way of our own happiness.

A good written picture I read recently to clarify my thoughts: There are two groups of people present, those people standing or sitting along the shore and those in people on the water in boats. Due to our nature, the people on the shore are thinking about how nice it would be to be in a boat floating or moving slowly along the on the lake. The people in the boats think about how nice it would be to be on shore, be able to stand up and stretch, or even lay down on a blanket and take a nap.

When we spend our time living our lives in one of these two groups, no matter what our personal situation, it is a real limiter to our being happy. Be aware and do not let yourself get caught up in what you are not, or can not do or be, your personal happiness is at stake.

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Stubborn about life precepts, concepts, and truths

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Family and friends at one time or another have told me in various ways, that I am one of the most stubborn people they have ever met. They have used some descriptive words like arrogant, condescending, and well, you get the idea. One coworker once said I was a bulldozer, because I bulldoze over anyones ideas or thoughts that I did not agree with.

I have been told in times of anger and frustration that in my world, no one’s opinion matters except mine. I have been told I also know it all too. A doctor I saw once that performed a day surgery for me, mentioned I had skin as thick as a horse. I imagine that is quite fitting.

My conclusion after completing what some may think is a fairly lengthy introspection of myself, my thoughts, and beliefs is they are correct. I am usually guilty of all charges. Yes, I am a culmination of all those adjectives people have used to describe me. I choose not to be a grammar expert, so adjective may not be the correct word.

There is a test given to people, to help the individual, teacher, or instructor identify an individual’s primary learning style. The test is simple though what is does is amazing. We have four basic learning modes we like to use.

The first learning behavior is someone who wants to do first, and learn later.

The second learning behavior is someone who prefers to learn as they go

The third learning behavior is someone who wants to know much more than the task, they want to know why the universe was created, and how it applies.

The fourth learning mode, and the one I was enmeshed in is a reflector. People who are reflectors do not want to do anything until they have thoroughly absorbed every part of the learning and how it fits in with everything they already know. You have shown them, told them, or demonstrated something so many times, you are sick of it. Fwiw, if you read yesterdays blog entry, you now know why I was hung up on math….

I was a statistical flyer in this learning style, out there past the standard three sigma range. How this learning style applies to what people think of me at times is interesting. It also makes me a human blender of ideas and thoughts. I later became a trainer which brought me close to the statistical center over time.

The ‘frustration’ people have with me, is I can not read, hear, or experience something, and take it as truth. I compare it with everything similar that I know already. This compare and blend process may take anywhere from a few seconds to a few days. When I am done, I know without any doubt at all whether I agree, disagree, why something is right, or wrong, and how far away from correct an idea is.

For example, if I read or hear somewhere about some human attribute being less than acceptable, it goes into my whole brain database of knowledge, and is compared to what I know already. If it does not agree with every other source that is in agreement, well then it is simply not correct. Not a bad trait, but I do it with most things.

Once it is faulty, it is faulty – this is where people mention to me I have a problem. Some people however can not accept that what they choose to believe (choose being a keyword) is not correct. For some people to be correct, almost every thinker in human history has to be wrong. I can not imagine for a second that the greatest thinkers on earth are wrong, and one little printed thought is correct.

World religion is a good example. Major beliefs, and religions share many fundamental precepts. Be good, and love one another is a precept all major beliefs share without exception.

When concepts deviate beyond what is shared in other major religions, it is possibly tainted thought injection, and should be treated as such. That does not make it immediately wrong, it does make it suspect and needing more looking into and thinking about.

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