We like to prim ourselves, fluff up our feathers, push out our chest, and strut around hoping someone will notice. If no one notices that is all right too, because we at least know how good we are. We know how well we have done in the face of adversity, overcoming obstacles and proving ourselves while other watched. It really does not matter though except to us and what we think of ourselves.

I stumbled upon a good analogy of our true worth some years ago. We have all heard about how we can stick our hand in a bucket of sand or water and splash it or move it around and shape it to our liking. Of course we know when we are all done and we remove our hand, it is like we were never there to start with. My observation is from a different perspective

I was watching an ant hill a number of years ago and I saw what our real importance is through the ant colony. If you have ever watched and ant colony at work, you know they have there set trails they follow initially when leaving the ant hill. In the morning as the sun warms up the colony hundreds of ants follow trails out to some end where once upon a time a lucky ant found a food or water source.

Usually the food source has long been forgotten and once the ants reach the end of the trail they start foraging in what appears to be a wandering pattern. If they have particular destinations in mind, I have not deciphered how they work. So out away from the hill there are all these ants working away, walking all over trying to find food for the colony.

At the nest there are other ants whose job it appears to excavate new tunnels. You see them walking out one of the tunnels to somewhere at the edge of the ant hill with a tiny pebbles in their pincers, or maybe a clump of dirt. They walk out near the edge, drop whatever they are carrying, and walk back in to do it over again.

I am sure there are many more ants who each have individual jobs in the colony of which I am unaware. As the day progresses, all the ants go about their tasks and the whole colony enjoys the benefits of the communal work. As I watched the ants working away, it dawned on me that even though they were working towards a common goal, they were not in any apparent way attached to each other.

When I removed an ant from its task whether the ant was foraging, hauling tiny pebbles from far below, or smoothing the ant hill and possibly reshaping it, the loss of a single ant was not noticed, or so it seemed. In fact unless I disturbed the ground there was no notice of an ant disappearing from its appointed task.

In reality so it is with us. If something appeared and took one of us from where we were sitting reading this, not too many people would notice that we were missing. After a few hours, it would become noticeable to those close to us we were not around at that time, but for the majority of the community, the loss of a single person is really a non event.

So when we are looking back over our accomplishments, and puffing ourselves up and feeling important, we also need to take a few moments and reflect on the truth. Are our accomplishments something that really make a difference to our community, and improve the quality of life for everyone, or are our accomplishments of a singular nature, in that they only benefit us?

Hopefully by the end of our lives we will accomplished many things that stand out in our mind as something that was really worth doing, and not a something that was important only to us. If we spend our lives doing those things that are only for us, we are like the single ant I removed from the ant hill. Nobody will really notice the difference, and our feeling of self worth will feel a little hollow to us.

On the other hand, if we some memories of how we made life better for the community or someone in it, we have fueled fires that will continue to burn in peoples memory’s long after we are removed. These changes need not be something that changes the very foundation of civilization, but may be something more humble and simple. Generally the more humble and simple whatever it is we do, the more it is appreciated by those people we do it for. Making life better for others, has a bonus of enriching our own life.

One of the POW’s of the Vietnam era had an interesting story. After he was released and arrived back in the US, and was well enough, he played a game of golf. What was so unusual about this game of golf was that he had an almost perfect score, something he had never accomplished before!

This man perfected his golf game while sitting in a POW camp in North Vietnam for many years. Not exactly the place where there is enough time and a few golf pro’s giving you private lessons…. Many of the men taken prisoner where essentially in solitary confinement. Even if they could see one another, they were not allowed to talk, or otherwise communicate with each other.

They were given nothing to keep themselves occupied from one day to the next, hour after hour, month after month. This Airman to keep his sanity started thinking about his golf game on a local course by where he used to live.

Over the weeks, months and years, it became easier for him to visualize how he was going to play each individual hole on the course. He spent hours and hours imagining the weight of the club, how to perfect his swing, where the best place to put the ball on each shot around the course. Of course there was the putting. He would imagine himself on each and every green with a putter in his hand. Thinking about the slope of the ground and the position of the sun, and how hard to tap the ball depending on where he was on the green.

In this way he kept his sanity when at times there was no sanity, and no sense to what he was having to live through. When he was released and strong enough to play a round of golf, he went out after so many years of practicing by the hour in his head, and he played the best game of his life.

When we watch professionals do something we can not do, they always make it look so easy. Some will even tell the crowds, something to the effect of” Well all you have to do is – fill in the blank – this, and your results will be just like this. It looks so easy, and finally we feel like a light has come on inside our heads and we can do the very same things.

Until we get home, and things are not working quite like we expected them too. Most of us become frustrated and put away whatever it was we were going to master. A few of us, the ultra stubborn, or ultra patient depending on your viewpoint stick with it until we too are close to mastering that particular goal.

That is the way life is and probably the way life works the best. If we all could master every endeavor with little effort, there would be no challenge in life. There would be no curiosity, and there would be no advancement in our lives and culture. In fact our lives today would probably be the same as they were five thousand years ago.

Thankfully we can not become a master of too many things at one time. We have our little niche of things we do well, and that is about as far as we get for most of our lives. Unless like the POW who played the almost perfect golf game after not touching a golf club for a number of years, we have the need and desire to excel above anything we normally would think we are capable of. Not being able to master more than one or two things at a time keeps life refreshing!

“Hi, long time no see, how are you?I am wonderful, how about you, are you still…?

Yes, and I love it, it has been so much fun. How is married life, are you still a happy newlywed? Yes for the most part, he’s home sick right now.Oh, I hope it is not too serious?

He’s been sick for about four days now. Of course he was perfectly fine for Boy’s night out, before he became ill. All he has been doing is lying around whining. He wants me to get him this, then he wants me to get him that. He thinks I should be heating soup for him, and buying him orange soda. Then he thinks I should be getting his cold pills and aspirin, and such. You would think he wants me to be his mother the way he is carrying on!

He wants a lot of attention when he is sick?

Well this is the first time he either of us has been sick, but it looks like he does. I didn’t marry him to treat him like a baby when he gets sick, that is not my job.”

About this point in their conversation I wanted to turn and tell the newlywed woman she better start looking for a marriage counselor, or a divorce lawyer because one or the other was looming on the horizon.Then reality got me, and I remembered I was not part of the conversation taking place.I was rather shocked by this woman’s attitude though as she was not in the seventeen to twenty-five year old range, and had to have been married before, or at least been dating for over a decade.

I thought she was way out of line, and very self centered. Then I started wondering what was he like? That led me to wonder what there marriage was based on. What she thinks their marriage is based on, if anything would explain her behavior, and her feeling imposed on to make the effort to take care of her husband when he is ill.All marriage is not all based on love.

Some marriages are not based on much of anything, or as little as she is hot, and he is all that. Other marriages happen for varying reasons; some are for money, convenience, tax purposes, and many other different reasons. Then there are the marriages based on caring, love, and respect for each other. This marriage did not sound like a marriage based on love. If it was based on love, it was what used to be called, ‘puppy love’. That is the kind young preteen and early teen boys and girls have for each other. They are in love with the idea of love, but really have no clue what love is all about.

I wondered if this couple had even talked about why they were getting married, and what their expectations were of one another? It did not sound like they had any sort of discussion, or really even knew one another. If they had talked about their married future, and decided they knew one another, they lied badly to each other, and to themselves.

Here they are newlyweds, and the first time one of them is ill and they have differing expectations of what each others roles are. I wonder what they know of each others feelings about children, money, vacations, weekends, and family weekend visits. After you are married is the wrong time to find out how your partner feels about the little things that comprise married life.

In the story from the book I had as a child, Ant laid around, or played around, and really was not trying to do anything with his life that was worthwhile. Ant slept late, lounged around the house, and was generally lazy. Depending on your perspective this may not be such a bad life. Seems kind of fun to me as part of a life balance.

Grasshopper on the other hand was an over achiever. Grasshopper started at the crack of dawn tending his retirement fund, and working overtime to increase his net worth. He was not fussy about what he did to generate money, as long as he thought he was being productive he was happy.

What is not obvious in the story is both Ant, and Grasshopper are very good at their life choices. Ant never changes character, and actually worries about the future, or thinks of working for a living. Grasshopper’s character on the other hand never thought about enjoying life, as he was too busy working for some future time.

They both may be considered role models for people who think as they do. In the story, there is something else not mentioned and not readily apparent. The Ant spent an extraordinary amount of time visualizing how his future was going to be, and not really doing anything about achieving it.

Grasshopper on the other hand had little imagination. Grasshopper could not look to the future, and imagine what life would be like. Grasshopper spent his time getting ready for winter, and did not take time to enjoy the summer, and be happy for what he had at present. Grasshopper generally was moody and morose. With all of Grasshoppers good points, Grasshopper could only see his faults.

Some might think the Ant and Grasshopper were using some form of LOA, or other belief system. Ant was certain in his thinking that what he needed would be provided somehow, and everything would be okay. Grasshopper knew that any kind of LOA, or other belief system needed his help to be successful. The summer went on with Grasshopper prodding Ant to get a job, so he would have what he needed for the hard times coming. Ant was young, and carefree, he did not realize no one was going to help him survive come winter.

Of course after summer, winter came. Ant was now cold, and starving. On the other hand, Grasshopper had too much of everything. Some of his food must have been spoiling, because it had been saved for so long. While once again (as far as memory serves me) we do not know the whole story of Ant, or Grasshopper, some things are obvious:

• Too much of anything is not good. Whether it is our work ethic, belief system, or relationships, we need to strike a balance.
• Too little of anything has the same end result. Too much focus on one area of our life leaves us empty and cold in other areas. Emptiness, and want tend to make us bitter.
• To have a good life balance, we must be aware, and think. Blindly following any life path does not lead to happiness.
• We should be thrilled with our good parts, and accepting of the other parts, as Ant accepted his plight from playing, and goofing off all summer. Grasshopper demonstrates this in the story too, where he did not care to help Ant, but turned Ant away to fend for himself. Grasshopper accepted himself for what he was. Ant did the same, but not in such an obvious manner.

After the story ends, we can see both characters have their good sides, and their flaws. They both accepted that they each had their individual flaws. Ant apparently died from cold and hunger. Grasshopper died of loneliness because he no longer had Ant to talk with.

Unlike the enemy Don Juan may have created, many of us are our own assassins. We rarely need anyone’s help to ruin our plans. We do it ourselves with some frequency. We meet someone special, we want a different job, any number of things that we start to plan out, and suddenly it all blows up without warning. Or does it? In Castaneda’s book, Don Juan said he would not be on the street to start with. What could Don Juan know that we do not?

Don Juan knew many things about human nature that most do not, and this was only one of them. Don Juan knew that many of us we get stuck in a rut we call our life. We claim we do not like where how we live, what we do, and talk about how we are going to change. Changing, and talking about changing are two completely different things. I think that is what Don Juan knew. Unless, as in Castaneda’s case where he really felt his very life was threatened, he would have normally taken no action to help himself.

I listened to a couple eating at a fast food place last week. They were poor, looking at their clothing which was worn, and frayed. The man was telling the woman that he was planning on going to Las Vegas, to gamble, and become rich. He went on to say that it would probably take him about a year and a half to get rich. He thought she could stay where she was until he returned. Of course when he returned things may have changed. She would probably be on Welfare. Possibly hooked up with another guy (his words). What would he do then? Would she be willing to leave the guy to be with him once he returned rich? Perhaps he would run into a women, and he would not want her any more – that also was possible (his words). With the conversation half finished, and bristling with possibilities, they left.

As crazy as that conversation sounds, some of us make plans like that all the time. We dream our plans, and never live our dream, because something falls apart. For that couple, I doubt he will ever find his way out of town, let alone to Las Vegas. Not because he was not capable, but because his plans are built on the same sand of everyones who’s plans blow up without reason. They are not really plans, they are simply a string of events tied together by hot air.

We all need dreams in our life. We also need good planning so we can have the best possible life. I think we need to keep the two somewhat separate so we can achieve our dreams, instead of dreaming about our achievements that have never come to pass. We are capable of so much more if we give our self a chance with real plans, and realistic dreams.

As an old dinner house cook once told me. Plan your work, work you plan, and clean up as you go. In the case of our lives, it would be: Plan your dream, work your plan, and repeat as you go. Happy dreaming!

This joke is probably thousands of years old. There was a form of it in the movie, ‘Fried Green Tomatoes’, in the parking lot scene. It is also a premise in many other books and movies. At the end of all of these, the logic is immediately apparent: Why waste energy on small stuff when there are more important matters coming up? When you are older you will have more to contribute. While youth is great it is not the end all of existence, there is much more to life.

We should be who we are. When I was younger I enjoyed knowing there was someone around who was older and had more life experience than myself. I could go to and use them as a sounding board to help me through a hard decision, and present choices I had not thought of. I have never wanted to live in a world like that of Time machine, Logan’s Run, Brave New World, or any of the other books and movies where young is all there is, and life is controlled. Where and once you reach a certain age, you disappear. That’s not living, thats a lie in action.

It is a disservice to younger people to be much older, and try to be one of them. A much better tact is let someone younger than yourself be younger, and you be yourself at your correct age. There is much more to be gained from the relationship, and more satisfaction for both parties.

Take advantage of your life knowledge and life experience, to help young adults make the world a better place rather than helping them repeat the same mistakes that have already been made. If you are a young adult, take advantage of your enthusiasm, and energy to make the world a better place, but stop once in a while and ask directions.

No one would seriously argue the generally hasty decision making processes of some young adults. They do things on an instant. They are driving to a friends house, and they show up late, but with a new car. They push too many limits, and sometimes they pay a tragic price, either in themselves or the harm they have done to someone else. Thankfully, our society is set up in such a way, the damage they can do is limited.

There is a reason why people must meet a certain age requirement, either by law, or by general consensus. The reason for an minimum age, is peoples life experience, and decision making abilities have to be at a certain level before they can be effective in certain life roles.

I think it is a disservice to yourself, and young people, to be much older pretending to be young. A much better tact is let someone younger than yourself be younger, and you be you. There is much more to be gained from life, and more satisfaction for everyone. Take advantage of your life knowledge and life experience to help young adults make the world a better place rather than helping them repeat the same mistakes we did.

If you are a young adult, take advantage of your enthusiasm, and energy to make the world a better place. There is a lot to be said for youth, and there is a lot to be said for the knowledge and wisdom of age. Think about how much can be said when the two combine forces! Don’t be afraid to be the age you are. If you do not be your age, the only person you are fooling is yourself. You are also cheating yourself of some very good years in your life, and you probably do not like the person in the mirror to much either.

So I thought, well this idea will make peoples homes safer because it will reduce home robberies. Insurance companies will get excited about this idea, because they want safety in the world, so I started writing them. They were not falling over themselves in eagerness to buy up my idea so their clients could have a better, safer life! What gives, this is a great idea, people will be safer, and millions of dollars in claims won’t have to be paid out? I was at a loss to understand this dilemma. More importantly, where were my [now] million dollars, from this great idea?

Finally it dawned on me. If my idea stopped theft of home electronics products such as televisions, microwaves, computers, and stereos, the manufacturing of these products would slow down because there would be far less demand for replacements. Manufacturing companies were in business to make more of their product, not less.

Insurance companies were in business to make money from burglary and theft, not actually prevent it. With less theft there would be less need for insurance. Insurance company profits would drop.

The crime rate would drop due to less theft, so police departments, jails, and prisons would not need as many people working. A big portion of the regular, and underground economy would dry up because in a few years there would be no person, or place to sell non working stolen electronics items to. No one would be needed to track down burglars, and thieves. A whole sector of the economy would be put out of work.

What a stupid idea I had! What was wrong with me thinking that making the world a safer place, and preventing theft would be a benefit to society? Here I was one person trying to destroy an economy that took centuries to perfect! Thousands, if not tens of thousands of people would be without work, and income. No wonder no one was interested in my idea. I was suggesting they all commit fiscal suicide by building something that rarely needed replacement. Only replacement for worthwhile upgrades, and innovation.

There is a lesson here, just not a good one. Perhaps I can build a better mouse trap, it just better not be made so well, all the mice are caught! If I have another great idea, I am going to make sure it is packed with glitz and glamour, but does little for the consumer except part them from their money. It will be a huge success in the stores across the country, maybe even the world! I just need to think of it.

I set to work, finding out how ideas are put on paper, what format was needed, and how much detail I needed to go into. It was a cheap to make, simple idea, so I knocked out about eight typed pages, with a page or two of drawings supporting my idea. Every time I retyped out my paper I would be thinking about how rich I was going to be. This was so much fun! Every day the money I was going to make grew by another thousand dollars.

Finally it was complete. Now the only question was what mega company was I going to share my idea with? Which company was big enough to make it work, able to corner the market before the knock off products started showing up? That decision took the better part of a week. Then I found out I had to create a non interest letter for the company I was going to send my idea to. The way I understood it, it was a letter that generally states that I have an idea, but I am not really interested in it. I think your company might not be interested in it enough for you to request that I send you what I have on paper. Then your not interested design and production staff may evaluate my idea before you decide you may be interested enough to pay me some money for my idea. So far so good? Yep? Okay, off to the bidding wars.

So I sent off my idea to a multinational corporation. Then I sat back and waited. A week went by, then two, three, four weeks, and nothing! On the sixth week, I received a reply from the company addressed to occupant or something else pulled out of the dictionary of non-interest.

Wow, this is going to be good, they are really interested! Dollar signs are rolling through my head by now. Well, they made it clear that they really weren’t interested, and did not appreciate my suggesting they were interested. The second sentence of the letter stated they very annoyed that I contacted them to start with. A third sentence did not exist.

Well, what do I know, they are probably too big of a company to start with. I tried more companies, and they weren’t interested either. All the companies I wrote were only interested in selling more of their products, not taking on new products that would take major manufacturing changes to produce.

Part two tomorrow….

I first saw this principle being used by my mother when she sold products for a home based business as she generated extra income for our household. I first read about this idea many years ago, in a book written by Norman Vincent Peale , “The Power Of Positive Thinking”. I have seen this idea in many different shades during the plethora of books being dumped on the market during the, ‘New Age‘.

I have listened to this principle being hinted at at every marketing scheme and get rich quick program my friend dragged me to. Unfortunately for my friend, he never listed to the part of the pitch where work and giving were mentioned.

That being said, you may be more satisfied with a business oriented book, Napoleon Hill’s book, “Think and Grow Rich“, was published in 1937. You can go into almost any bookstore and they will probably have at least a few copies on the shelf. I know Napoleon Hill had a strong understanding of The Secret. Napoleon Hill writes a number of times that he learned the secret from Andrew Carnegie as a young man, but had to figure it out for himself. He leaves those who read his book to figure out the secret for themselves, even though the knowledge needed is on almost every page.

Why are so many of us struggling to make sense of our lives? Why are we not all benefitting from this or other form of the Law Of Attraction? If we take the time and most importantly the honesty to be able to examine our own individual lives we would realize we are receiving exactly what we are attracting. We would also understand why we have what we have in our lives. For most of us, we are getting out of our lives exactly what we are putting in.

Life mimics life, and most of us want something good out of our lives. For the most part we need other people to give those things to us. That is the tricky part, is finding people who will give us what we want. If I do not give anything of myself, I can not expect anything of value to be given to me. If I have a need I want filled usually I have to do something. It is no hush hush secret about how to have the things in your life that are most important to you.

What we never think about is this martial artist had to both discover, and then choose how to use their gifts. Their actions have no feeling or thought. Their power is what they choose to do. At some point in their life, they had to make a decision that determined the direction for the rest of their life. They knew what their gift was, they just had to choose how to use it.

Most of us do not have the talents of a martial artist. We do however have our own special gifts. Somewhere in our life, herd thinking set in and overtook our thought process! We forgot we are special, and worse we forgot we have our own special gifts.

We must take some time and reflect on our gifts, and what we want from them. We serve no real purpose in this world unless we use our gifts thoughtfully. Acting with knowledge of why we do what we do is our power. If we do not use our gifts thoughtfully we are wasting them. When we waste them we give away our power. When we give away our power we become bitter. When we become bitter we lose our self.

Think and remember what your gifts are. Your gifts are as small or as big as you want them to be. Only you define your limits! Let your gifts and your power show, be proud of what you can do. The universe is waiting for you to rediscover your gifts and start using them!